To feel for my friend who is very anxious about how she will afford twins.

[BobDylansUnderpants]

My friend is due twins in the next few months the and she is beside herself with worry about how her and her DH will cope financially. She would never have aborted as that was never an option for her for religious reasons.

She lives in what i would consider a small house with her DH and 2DCs. The DCs share a room and there is a small box room which would just about fit a single bed. The fact her house is too small is the least of her worries.

She says she just about can manage the mortgage payments and living costs with just the 4 of them and has little left over for savings. They hardly go on holiday and live within their means.

She is really worried about how she will manage with paying for the gazillion nappies, milk, baby clothes every few months and the general cost of kids.

She told me that she has just missed out on tax credits which she won't get anymore for the twins as the government only pay for 2 kids. She could have got an additional 5k a year which she says would have really helped alot. ( Not sure if the figure is correct)

I don't really know what to suggest for her and wondered if anyone has had similar experience of unexpectedly having lots more kids and how you managed financially. It feel such a shame that the government have stopped the tax credits as it would have really helped her family and no doubt others in similar circumstances.

I can only offer support.

I have a friend who had a 4 year old, then unexpectedly got pregnant with twins. They panicked, their family panicked, everybody panicked because they had no money to speak of and didn't know how they were going to cope.

It got so bad that the dh had to borrow £20 to get to the hospital to see the birth.

But they're doing just fine. One is a sahp and the other works, they are in debt but the children are happy and healthy. It's not like they're going to own their own house or anything but they have their family and they're not going to be homeless or anything.

Sorry but who in their right minds uses the pill, an iud, a condom and then pulls out?? Aren't you quite likely to end up losing the condom as you pull out, making impregnation more likely?

'Expat- When people have to switch to UC, will it be the case that those who already are claiming for more than 2 dc will continue eing able to do so ?'

According to turntous, no, it will be treated as a new claim and so only pay out for 2. Hope I'm wrong! That's just one of the many shit things about UC.

'I would also suggest that she goes to the GP to talk about long-term contraception solutions, e.g. presumably she could be sterilised when the twins are born? But I would be careful who I said that to, I have to say. '

He can have the snip. Once you get the all-clear, it's pretty foolproof. DH had it nearly 7 years ago. Works a treat but you do need to use alternative contraception until he gets the all-clear.

Meek- The family you know are probably doing ok because they are probably getting a good chunk of tax credits for 3 kids and will continue to get them for the next 18 years if they stay on a low income.
The point op is making is that her friend will have double the number of children to support and no extra tax credits because the policy is changing next week ! This tricky financial situation/ potential poverty will continue for the long term unless their income significantly improves.

Yes babyroobs as long as they don't have a break of more than six months in their claim.

If you do have a whipround or baby shower, might be an idea to specify later clothes than newborns, so they'll have something for later, IYKWIM and offer to store them for her since they are short on space?

Whenever I give a baby gift I tend to give some money and some basic clothes in the right season for a 9-month-old or 1-year-old if I know they have lots of space and if not then something really practical like packs of nappies if I know they're not using cloth. But usually just tend to slip them a tenner in a card.

No expect it's not a new claim and even if it was its fine within six months.

• expat

As the system stands, though, this family won't get extra, And . It's just a fact. There will be no change. It's effective next week and Parliament's mind is on Article 50 (don't get me started!), so the reality is they need to deal with how it is.

Plenty of advice on here, too, OP, about thinks she can do to earn a few quid at home, too, once she's able to do so.

Most but not all Sparkle I used 2 forms of contraception (admittedly one being MAP) i still ended up pregnant despite not being overweight and using the MAP within 24 hours. I've since heard it prevents ovulation so if you have already ovulated it won't work. The pharmacist never mentioned that!
Also not everyone can use hormone contraceptives, and i had to wait for my copper coil due to breastfeeding. I've also been refused sterilisation.
Sometimes these things do happen.

You said they have a mortgage, maybe they could look at equity release or moving to a bigger but cheaper house in a cheaper area.

No this family won't sadly.

I think this is really stressful. I'm making assumptions here, but she is already a sahm so childcare costs won't increase. Once the sleeping and transport methods are sorted out, newborn babies don't cost so much. When they are older she could work a bit to give them a better standard of living. Do you still get CB for more than two children? Would CB cover the cost of nappies or formula?

If she's not working and already struggling, why on earth would she not have got a job? Many parents work around each other to cover their costs.

The new rules will mean people have to think about their household costs/choices and how they will finance them rather than making choices they can't afford expecting others to pay. Long term, chidren will benefit.

I do think at some point the government will have to step in and help families like this who end up in a right mess. They can't just leave them to struggle unable to feed and clothe their DC!

'I do think at some point the government will have to step in and help families like this who end up in a right mess. They can't just leave them to struggle unable to feed and clothe their DC!'

They leave plenty of people like that and the family doesn't even have 4 kids. How are they supposed to 'step in'?

Nice to see the arsehole contingent thriving on here...

Amazing that, on another thread a woman who is feeling pressured into an abortion that she doesn't want would be told by all and sundry that no one has the right to tell her what to do with her body. And here the response has been "fuck her, should have had an abortion then." It's pretty disgusting really. I've had tons of support from MN over the 10 years I've been here. If I hadn't personally experienced it I would truly believe this place to be the least supportive place on the internet.

This happened to me. No 3 was twins so went from 2 for 4. The expense and workload was phenomenal. We moved from a 2 bed to bigger house. Needed a 7 seater car. New clothes (twins were a dif gender to first 2).

Back then we got some tax credits which really helped. I disagree with new policy. Few countries put limit on child benefit. Somehow supporting families with children has become something to look down on so that the gov could easily remove it. Instead of more wealth being spread to the average person there is now more at the top. But hey ho some people feel better.

Anyway the expense for me of having twins became much more at school age. 2 x trios for example. So a 300 quid year 6 residential would be 600 for me. School uniform for 2 was 300 (state comp). Things like swimming lessons and cubs. Not essentials but things most other kids do.

My advice would be to accept all hand me downs. Some people ask on those swap groups on facebook if anyone has any baby clothes or bits etc. Breastfeeding is possible and saves money. I only managed 5 weeks but it was a help. Many twins are early so maybe also have to consider that in terms of travel costs and time off work.

House wise we manage in a 3 bed terrace. 2 big rooms and smaller room. We have the small room. We do the xmas clubs to save for xmas.

Things will work out ok I am sure. Twins are amazing and are a blessing.

Doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with this policy, it's a done deal. The whole focus is going to be on what happens on Wednesday, and, as you can see from so many responses on here, there's support for the policy, so the best thing is to focus on what the family can do to improve their situation because the tax credits ain't gonna happen.

Personally I don't think the policy will last

A few years down the line some families will be in serious trouble

Under a Tory government? Of course it will last! And get worse. UC will be ramrodded through and if you think tax credits for only 2 kids is bad, that's a whole shower of shite!

I admit I haven't read all of the responses as some of them are so awful that I thought I'll just comment with some practical advice. I have the same combination of kids. We are very lucky that we had enough room for the twins to share our spare room which it sounds like they will too, with some clever planning. Bunk beds with built in storage would work when a little older. My twins shared a cot for ages as they slept best like that and they are very tall so you might get a year out of it with some twins. That would really help space wise and if it was a cot bed. We have two small cots side by side but one permanent cot and one travel cot up just at night might help? Or you can buy wider travel cots (1m square) on Amazon that could be a good option.
Clothing and supplies - join local twins club, selling sites etc, and definitely contact sure start as they help multiples family practically to support parents but also take donations and they will tell their volunteers what they are looking for. I donated all of my 0-6m stuff to them for someone having a girl with nothing, high chairs they take anything at all so will be able to provide all sorts.
There are only a few things you need two of with twins. Highchairs and cots maybe, bouncy chair is useful but not much you need to buy two of. Breastfeeding will be free and although is hard with older ones I expressed pretty much exclusively to give bottles which made life a lot easier.
If they currently have enough money for holidays and some savings they will be fine. We didn't have either of these and therefore just budget differently. We haven't had any help with clothes etc and haven't had to ask for any help so they will be fine, honestly. Lidl or Aldi for shopping, the first year is hard but it is an absolute joy now and I feel very grateful for my four children. Please let your friend know that it honestly isn't as expensive as you think. Join local twins club, buy second hand buggy or use single and a sling, lots of great advice on TAMBA. Sorry if this is repeated but as I say the lack of empathy made me really cross.

I just read pinkcrystal - hadn't thought about added cost at school as mine are still under that but that is very true. Worth asking locally if they discount twin places too as our local soft play does twins for price of one, only £1 extra at a singing class and again, none of those things are essential. Something else to consider I forgot is that with young twins a lot of stuff isn't worth the hassle so things you'd do more often with one you wouldn't bother with twins very often so that will save them money e.g.foing on holiday, swimming, days out sometimes. More difficult so easier for one adult to take older two sometimes = cost saving.