Are you sure you're single???

[ShitIForgotToUntick]

Letter from DWP asking me to consider whether I'm really single!? Been claiming CTC as a single parent for 8 years. Have been single for 8 years, and happily so. Am just agahst at the bloody cheek. It's almost as if they can't quite believe a woman could possibly live without a man. As you can see the letter details what constitutes a 'relationship', just in case i was confused . It then follows up with a vague threat of penalties, you know, just in case i was thinking about lying Needless to say it is now in the bin. I mean surely there isn't a woman alive who isn't aware of whether she is in a relationship or not? I am aware there are people out there who will be committing benefit fraud but i would guess those people would be unlikely to respond to such a letter anyway.
AIBU to find this bloody cheeky not to mention an insult to my intelligence?

But you're not 'financially independent' op. You're claiming benefits.

Nothing wrong with that at all. As long as you fit the criteria and play by the rules.

I do accept those responsibilitiesbakewell. I fill in my tax credits form every year and provide all the information requested. I inform them of any changes in circumstances as required, eg i changed jobs last year and informed them immediately. It's this governments tendency to treat people like they're thick and unaware of whether they're in a relationship or not that irks me.

I'm sure you do everything correctly op.

Unfortunately not all do and I assume that's why you've been sent the letter.

Don't take it personally. It's just part of the process.

Well if the government could be arsed to enforce child maintenance payments from nrp's i wouldn't need to claim CTC, but that's another thread.

Well you've burst my bubble bakewell. I thought that working bloody hard in a low paid (but socially useful) job, managing my finances, providing for my kids and not being in debt for the last 30 years made me financially independent. However, by your thinking the fact that I meet the criteria to claim a tiny bit of child tax credit makes me not financially independent - should I choose to claim this. Note to self: Must try harder!

Op - child maintenance from the nrp has no bearing on benefits you can claim does it? Although I agree nrp's should always have to pay.

Small - you've deliberately taken me out of context. I know nothing of your situation and would never cast aspersions on anyone claiming benefits.

They phoned my friend and commented how they couldn't believe she has been single for so long.
She has been single all this time so she told him that it's not easy to meet someone 'right'. She is trying but it's hard. He mumbled about letting them know if her circumstances changed and ended the call promptly.

Imagine my surprise to get a letter from HMRC asking if I was still with DH! We have been together nearly 10 years. It asked for my date of separation if not.

Then went on to tell me about the huge fines if I were to give the wrong information.

bakewell you said But you're not 'financially independent' op. You're claiming benefits.

You were saying that people who claim CTC were not financially independent. Could it have been interpreted any other way?

How have I taken you out of context?

Op - child maintenance from the nrp has no bearing on benefits you can claim does it? Although I agree nrp's should always have to pay.

No it doesn't thankfully but my point was if CSA had done their job over the last 8 years and forced my child's dad to pay his share of his child's upkeep by way of say sanctions, I genuinely wouldn't need CTC and wouldn't have claimed it. Believe me i would much rather his dad be contributing than the government. The CMS are doing a slightly better job and managing to get something out of him but that i believe is down to the fact he's gone from self employed to employed. If it makes you feel any better i worked f/t for 20 years before becoming a LP and claiming anything, ever.

I got the same letter on Friday. Live separately from my boyfriend bur we've been going out (on and off) for several years. He maintains his own home and kids, as I do mine. He stays at mine on average 2 nights a week. Our families and friends see us as a couple but we are very definitely financially separate (and yes, go Dutch or take turns paying when we manage to go out).

Not the first time I've been sent a similar letter, my conscious is clear.

I think HMRC and Tax Credits need to sort their own problems out before trying to frighten people who are making legitimate claims

Small - my comment was in direct answer to the op saying that she has and would never take money from a man and has been 'financially independent' all her adult life.

I was pointing out that not taking money from a man but instead claiming the money from benefits does not make you completely financially independent and therefore putting up with generic letters asking you if your circumstances have changed is a small inconvenience compared with keeping a roof over your head.

As op has pointed out, if the nrp paid maintenance she would not have to claim anything at all. I think that is admirable.

I am sure you work hard and it sounds like you do everything you can to provide for your DC. Please do not take the comment I made about a different situation as a criticism of you.

I think the OP should be inquiring whether or not a similar letter is sent to men who are single. Or asking their MP to raise the issue.

Remember the issue with child benefit where HMRC could not link tow people who received married person's allowance. So if one paid 40% tax and the other had minimal income, they were not given child allowance, but if both had a good income but under the 40% tax level, they received it?

It's no different to the letter that ones from the council regarding single persons discount. They are just doing their job. It isn't personal.

They are just doing their job. It isn't personal.

Yes i am realising that now, i will climb down from my high horse. I'm not generally easily offended.
Have to go out now, i appreciate all the replies.

It's this governments tendency to treat people like they're thick and unaware of whether they're in a relationship or not that irks me

Less that and more thinking people are chancing their arm claiming to be single when they aren't. You aren't doing anything wrong, but having done a similar job myself you would be surprised at the number of people who think their live-in boyfriend doesn't count because he isn't the father of the children, or he sleeps 3 nights at his mums etc etc.

What does seem inappropriate is the use of tax payers money to send these letters out to a sample (at least 50 pence per letter postal costs alone). Why not include the "helpful" hints as part of the tax credit renewal pack? That is an annual process. Then everyone gets the reminder, no one is singled out. #toological

Regarding financial independence, many employers pay lower wages knowing that families will need to claim top up benefits. If some big companies paid increased earnings their profit would fall but so would welfare costs, however some people still snipe at the people who claim. Tax Credits subsidise businesses and their profits, but that's another thread.

bakewell I wasn't taking your comment as criticism of me. I was taking it as criticism of OP, who thought she was financially independent until you told her she wasn't. She was referring to being financially independent in terms of not relying on a man to provide for her; by that definition she is financially independent.

I don't claim CTC. The amount I would get is so small it's really not worth my time making a claim. The only benefit is get is child benefit. By your criteria anyone getting that is not "financially independent".

Thanks to OP's post I am now considering claiming CTC in the hope I get a letter like the one she has posted; just so I can amuse myself penning a witty response.

I don't see the problem.

I've seen threads on MN of people asking whether their boyfriend counts or not - it's not clear, always. For example, if they spend plenty of nights with you and give you some money but still have post at their parents. A lot of people can be in quite chaotic relationships too - if you split up and he's sofa surfing but then you start doing date nights and he starts staying over again... I've seen all that on here.

It's a generic letter, partly to get people to claim correctly, mostly so HMRC can say the false claimant did know.

I once had a random "please made sure your last self assessment was correct". I have about 2 seconds of thinking "why are you accusing me?!" Before remembering it wasn't personal.

But who decides what constitutes a relationship?

I've heard they don't class you as single even if you dont live together or share finances. So take that to the extreme and at what point are you meant to inform them? 3rd date lol.

With regard to the earlier point about financial independence. Pensions are classed as a benefit but I'm sure most pensioners consider themselves financially independent.

In the old days it was really about sex. If you were shagging someone you were classed as 'in a relationship' because, you know, men pay one way or another for sex. I was just hoping we'd got past this and that those women who were single parents could shag and still get benefits.

I'm a single mum on tax credits and I haven't received this letter, so I wonder if they are being sent out to a targeted group, e.g. if something is flagged up on credit records. I never had any issues with Concentrix in the past either - my ex never lived at the address I'm at now, so there are no issues with his name being associated with it.

I think most single parents claiming benefits or tax credits are well aware of the DWP/HMRC definitions. I've always been careful to keep the boundaries in my relationship clear (no staying over, not allowing boyfriends to receive mail here, not sharing ordinary expenses).

Concentrix were a company from Hell and were eventually sacked by HMRC, due to a sustained campaign from the single parents who were being investigated. Well done those women, the harassment that those families suffered was a disgrace, the incompetence from that company was unprecedented.

I wondered why my annual Spanish inquisition stopped after 3 years. That explains it.

Bastards lost all my original documents they insisted I sent. Thankfully I took copies of them before I sent them, but some things, such as pay slips can't be replaced on their original format, which made things fun with the council, and the following year when they wanted the same original documents again. I sent in copies with post its saying "If you would return the original documents you lost last year I would gladly send them to you again". Only half of the documents came back, some copies, some not.

On the third year I just sent copies of everything. I got a shirty call to say I hadn't sent originals and I told them they had to stop losing my stuff efore I would send in originals again as it cost me too much to replace important documents. They accepted the copies.

Now I just get an annual inquisition from the local council over my housing benefit. They don't trust me because I work, apparently. And because I declare everything. I actually had a council worker tell me it was suspicious because I declared things to them when a lot of people don't.