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Original poster

How much is acceptable for a cash wedding gift?

79 replies

weddingopinionsplease · 25/03/2017 12:15

I've been invited to my brother's wedding in a few weeks. The invitation has a poem requesting cash towards the honeymoon instead of a present. My own wedding is 2 month after his, so money is fairly tight at the moment. Really tight, actually.

How much will be ok as the gift? My DP, our 2 DC (preschooler and toddler) and I makes 4 of us invited. My brother and his wife to be are much better off than us (and they know this) so I don't want to give too little as I'd feel embarrassed but obviously I don't want to give too much Blush

I just don't know the etiquette regarding cash gifts, I haven't even mentioned gifts on my own wedding invitations because I'm clueless!

OP posts:
user1473602935 · 25/03/2017 17:31

I tend to do £50 for a not so close friend, £100 for close friend and prob more for brother. Depends how old you are though as I wouldn't have spent that much a few years ago as had less money

ThouShallNotPass · 25/03/2017 17:42

£100-£150 for a brother, sister or best friend.
£30-£50 for anyone else.
Really though it's what you can afford. If you are close then the bride and groom would understand if you can only give a little and if you're not close enough that they would understand then I wouldn't bother giving them a lot anyway.

And if they complain? Cancel the cheque of course!

titsbumfannythelot · 25/03/2017 17:42

I agree with imperial blether- can you agree just not to swap gifts?

Electrolens · 25/03/2017 17:53

The only rule is that you give what you can afford.

My brother is getting married this year and my budget is £40 for a gift. That's the maximum I can afford. I will be giving them a thoughtful card and message and helping out around the wedding looking after relatives and setting up etc, doing all I can to make it run smoothly.

I think the pp comments that it should be £100 + are unreasonable. I cannot afford that, my brother knows that, and he would feel awkward and embarassed if I did try to gift that much.

I like the idea of a very personally designed card by you or the dcs and whatever you can afford inside.

I'm sure you won't judge people by what they can afford to gift you and I'm sure your brother won't either.

HiMyNameIsUnknown · 25/03/2017 17:58

For a close friend or family member we would give between £80 & £100. However we asked for cash towards honeymoon spends and were genuinely grateful for all cash, vouchers and gifts we were given and people's generosity. People's budgets are so different and we didn't judge what people gave I wouldn't have liked people to leave themselves short.

If money is really tight could you give them a Groupon or similar voucher to a restaurant they want to try or will enjoy. Where I live we've had some amazing deals for 4 and 5 star places for lunch/dinner or even afternoon tea. Alternatively just put what you can in a card.

londonfeather · 25/03/2017 17:58

Where are they going on honeymoon? If we give cash we normally give it in the currency of the country they are going to. Depending on where they are going it normally looks a lot more than the £ value

DancingUnicorn · 25/03/2017 18:11

I would talk to him. I'd guess he will give back whatever you give him when it's your turn... seems a bit pointless! He would surely just want you to be there to celebrate his wedding with him!

LuxuryWoman2017 · 25/03/2017 18:21

Seems crazy to me for you to give him £50 in a card then 2 months later he gives you £50 in a card. Just agree no gifts between you.

SwedishEdith · 25/03/2017 20:26

God, I really dislike this asking for money for someone's honeymoon. Agree with agreeing to cancel each other's gifts out. Totally pointless.

TwattyMcTwatface · 25/03/2017 20:56

I gave mine a cushion covers: tbf, he wasn't expecting anything - I travelled over 40 hours to get there, at vast cost, forked out for a hugely expensive hotel and then went all the way back again three days later. I didn't feel guilty, either - I couldn't eat any of the wedding breakfast as it was based around a food item that gives me anaphylactic shockGrin

Seriously - talk to him

Voice0fReason · 25/03/2017 23:40

I find the suggestions of £50, £100, £250 as a minimum are coming from a parallel universe to mine!

It would be £20-£30 from me.

FunkyChunk · 25/03/2017 23:49

We usually put in about £30-50. I'd put in maybe £80 for a very close friend, and last year for OH's sister we gave £100.

Most people will be grateful for anything though, whatever you can afford should be appreciated!

redshoeblueshoe · 25/03/2017 23:56

I don't care if people ask for £, it saves trekking round shops. But in your position I'd just talk to your DB and say - lets not bother with presents.

redshoeblueshoe · 25/03/2017 23:58

Voice I'm with you £25 is fine to me

OlennasWimple · 26/03/2017 00:07

I like gift lists and cash requests normally, as it makes wedding gifts so much easier. But for very close friends and family I am happy to go off list and get them an actual present, like a photo frame or something I know that they will use.

£100 if you go with cash sounds about right

Xmasbaby11 · 26/03/2017 00:13

I couldn't give cash to a brother, that would feel weird. I'd buy them a small present.

If it had to be cash, £50.

blonde91 · 26/03/2017 00:33

How about a honeymoon pamper for them to take with them?

loaferloveforyou · 26/03/2017 00:37

I wouldn't expect anything off my siblings.

Maybe talk to them and agree that they don't give anything to you and you don't give anything to them?

haveacupoftea · 26/03/2017 07:41

Another voice saying £100 minimum and agree between yourselves no presents as the weddings are so close together.

skerrywind · 26/03/2017 07:53

Never ever give cash if asked.

Very rude.

Bobbybobbins · 26/03/2017 08:25

I would give some cash but also a small present. Best of both.

KoolKoala07 · 26/03/2017 08:34

I don't see the issue with cash as awedding gift. It's easy. I'd probably give £50 and then a thoughtful, personalised gift. My sisters gave us a wonderful personalised frame with things inside that meant something to us.
We had cash because we lived together for 5 years before marriage. I could have arranged a gift list in John Lewis but I think that's just as cheeky asking people to buy a £300 fruit bowl and there was nothing we needed for our home.

SheSaidHeSaid · 26/03/2017 08:46

You could always give them currency for their honeymoon (if they're having one), then it's a bit more personal to just giving cash and if you can't afford as much then more often than not the currency appears more GrinGrinGrin

Original poster
weddingopinionsplease · 26/03/2017 09:53

Sorry I haven't had a chance to reply yet! Thanks for all your responses. I was thinking of saying to him to skip gifts since he will be coming to my wedding in a couple of months anyway but I wasn't sure if that was a bit tight or rude.

OP posts:
kimann · 26/03/2017 10:00

Depends what you can afford - I'm sure our brother will understand!

I have my brother 888.88.

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