To leave my one day a week job?

[blossominthecity]

I know I'm being really pathetic but I hate it so much I start dreading it on Wednesday. I work Saturdays I generally do about 14 hours and it kills me, I'm always exhausted on Sunday and I feel like our chance to do something with DC is compromised as a result.

For full disclosure it's only a minimum wage type thing, it's something which always needs staff. So I don't need it for a career or anything.

But the money is useful, it pays weekly and is about £100. So that kind of covered stuff I might need in the week without me always having to ask DH. But I could live without it. So I'm wondering is it honestly worth it? Everyone says it isn't but I'm worried that if I end up broke I'll be even more depressed!

but I'm not asking for your approval :) just talking it through

Have you looked into whether you would get any help with childcare costs through tax credits if you took a weekday part time job? Sometimes even families on reasonable incomes can get some help which might make it worthwhile working ? Or does your dh's employer offer childcare vouchers which can help reduce childcare costs?

Are you doing a 14 hour day today ?

I think it's the fact you don't have to work that's making this more difficult for you, OP. If you were suddenly forced to find another job, I think when it came to job hunting, you'd find, as Ebear said, that you do have marketable skills and experience. If I didn't have to work, I suppose I might find it hard to motivate myself to get up and go to work on a bad day - but I have no choice but to work full-time, so I've tried as best I can to find a job that's reasonably interesting and challenging.

Can you set up an account of your own and have a little bit of money transferred to it every week to cover the bits you want to do with the kids? Then it's ring-fenced expressly for you and you don't need to feel guilty about it (which you don't anyway but easier said than done)

No, I rang in sick today I do have a cold. We're not entitled to tax credits DH earns too much which is fair enough obviously

Do you actually have a cold, or is it because you can't face going in?

I do have a cold but I probably could have dragged myself in.

I'm assuming DH has the children on Saturdays while you are working? I think this is really valuable, in a SAHP household, the SAH parent is often the one who does every little bit of childcare, even when the WOH partner is there. It gives your DH some insight into what your weekday 'working' life is like, and that is important.

I would suggest sticking it out while you find a different job. I'm guessing either care work or retail, so there are many different employers for that kind of work, and a change may bring lots of benefits.

Looking after 2 young kids plus presumably most of the house work and cooking and shopping, Monday to Friday, is at least equivalent to a full time job. And I say this as a full time working mum of a 3 and 1 year old.

You need a weekend off just like your Dh.
If you can afford it give it up, enjoy the time for yourself and your family.

Good point lady. My dh has always had to look after our 4 dc's at weekends when I've worked and has always had to be very hand on. Now they are older he has a fantastic relationship with them all.

Could you instead spend your Saturdays doing some (online or apprenticeship....) courses to either get some qualifications or start figuring out what you would like to do when your kids start school? Presuming you would like to return to work then?

I personally would find it hard being a sahm without quals, as pp have said the dependency on your Dh would be too much. Try to invest in yourself rather than slugging your guts out at a low paid job that you hate and don't really need to be doing.

No, I don't think I'd be looking into going back to work in the way you mean, maybe when the children are at secondary.

I would stick with it until you've found another job. £100 a week is quite a lot to lose, and it gives you some financial independence and builds up your cv.

Realistically, lots of people dislike their job, but it's a means to an end. Use it as a stepping stone for something better in the future.

Would you feel better if you took the equivalent of say 30% a nanny's salary and paid it into your own account each month, assuming the rest of your theoretical salary would pay towards the mortgage, joint expenses.

Can you not do a few evenings a week instead so you have weekends together with your DH? If he can look after them on a weekend then he is capable of looking after them when he gets home from work.

Another 10 years without any financial independence is a long time.

I wouldn't ever be able to get something with a higher salary

What, ever? How depressing!

I'd stick at it-it stops your DH being the sole earner and gives you extra money without having to fork out on childcare.

The evening shift starts at half six, and DH isn't always home from work then. I might see if I can just do evenings saturdays maybe. It's so little it's barely worth doing though!

Just quit, you hate it and you don't need the money. As for relying on your husband, it sounds like the sort of job you can get again at any time, so should it not work out you can go back.

£400 to spend on swimming lessons, the odd treat, basic stuff is quite a lot a month.

One way to think about it is- are there savings that you could make by being at home all week and not working that would close the money gap (given you aren't working there for a career). So, I can save £40 a week or more by shopping in a cheap shop rather than doing an online shop, same for not spending on cafes when out and so on. What about on money saving websites, redoing the water, gas, electricity, shopping around for insurance? What does this money go on?

If you think you will struggle money-wise, keep going, if you can close the gap a bit and not really notice the loss of money I'd quit. If it's care work then there will always been tonnes of it available.

£400 a month is a fair bit for any household to lose. The other thing to consider is if you needed more hours at some point or if you wanted to look for another job it's always easier if you're already in work and can provide a current reference. Circumstances change, if I'd been unemployed when my marriage ended we'd have been faced with leaving our home and relying on benefits.

I thinkit's a family decision. I wouldn't resign without consulting DP and I hope he wouldn't either. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd be delighted to have you "back" on Saturdays. If so great, but sort the finances so you don't have to keep asking him for money.

Yeah DH would prefer me not to work

I agree with foureyes. Have a look at where you could make savings on things like food shopping, bills etc. If it's making you miserable and you can manage without it I'd give it up.