To leave my one day a week job?

[blossominthecity]

I know I'm being really pathetic but I hate it so much I start dreading it on Wednesday. I work Saturdays I generally do about 14 hours and it kills me, I'm always exhausted on Sunday and I feel like our chance to do something with DC is compromised as a result.

For full disclosure it's only a minimum wage type thing, it's something which always needs staff. So I don't need it for a career or anything.

But the money is useful, it pays weekly and is about £100. So that kind of covered stuff I might need in the week without me always having to ask DH. But I could live without it. So I'm wondering is it honestly worth it? Everyone says it isn't but I'm worried that if I end up broke I'll be even more depressed!

What makes you think you could never earn a higher salary?

Why wouldn't you ever be able to get something with a higher salary?

Well, I've no qualifications or work experience properly but anyway the threads not about that :)

Why would you have to "ask" your husband for money?

Well, it's a shame you can't find an alternative to your present job. In your position, I don't think I'd want not to be working at all - I'd hate having no independent income.

Sooty he'd be the only one working I suppose. And there wouldn't be much spare even though his salary is really good as we have a big mortgage. Stupid really.

You are enabling his work and income.

Is there really no way you could negotiate to a different shift? Even if it's during the week, it sounds as though 1 shift Would cover the equivalent childcare costs and still leave some over.

It wouldn't Gaz really.It's slightly less money during the week aswell. Sooty I know he'd never not give me money but it's nice not to feel bad if i want something for me

I would hate to be completely financially dependant on someone else. plus you have 6 days with your DCs. AND I don't think it's a bad plan for both parents to experience a decent amount of sole childcare.

But you really sound like you're not worried about any of that. So if there's no career benefit, and the money isn't needed, you might as well Jack it in.

Out if interest, why did you take the job in the first place?

Just because I wanted a bit of extra money round Christmas

You shouldn't have to ask your DH for money, TBH. You should have your finances set up so that you both have equal access to equal amounts of "spending money".

yes but there's not very much of it anyway :) i guess it's because dh is at work but I am at home so want to do things with the children but these sometimes cost money.

anyway the threads not about that

Well, it partly is, because one solution to having your own income but not doing a job you hate is to look for another job.

I am sure there will be other jobs around. You do have work experience, because you're working in a job. This will show you have skills around time management (turning up to work on time, doing allotted tasks by a particular time, maybe other time-dependent tasks, e.g. if it's catering or caring.) You may have gained experience of working with money or people - tasks which show you are trustworthy and reliable. If you're working with customers or clients or colleagues, you should be able to demonstrate communication skills and so on. You can build on this - after all, everyone has to build on nothing at the start, and you're now a step ahead of that.

Is it just the hours you hate, or is it the type of work, or colleagues, or clients?

Part of the reason I hate it is because it's a saturday and I miss spending time with DH. But also I hate how rude people can be how early i have to start and how late i finish, how bad the traffic is, stuff like that?

I work Sat and Sun both 12 hours, I also work a thur eve 6pm till 1am, just catch up on sleep in the week.

But I guess if you don't want to do it and you could survive without it then stop

Also what do you do in the week?

"But also I hate how rude people can be how early i have to start and how late i finish, how bad the traffic is, stuff like that?"

Sorry, but you need to get a grip.

If you don't like it, just quit. I would never want to rely on my partner for my income, but if you don't mind that then do it.

Start early and finish late? It's one day a week! Most the women I know do 12 hour days five days a week, plus the travel, plus people are rude (that happens everywhere).

If you and your dh can afford it I'd quit for a couple of years, then once your youngest is 3 (assuming you don't have another child) they'll get free childcare so you could get a job during the week. Really depends on whether you need the money, can your dh set up a standing order to your account for money you need in the week?

Well said user. I do 3 days ( 22 hrs) in a weekday job then 12 hour day or nightshifts at weekends making up to full time hours , have 4 kids ( although mainly teenagers but they still need a lot time spent on them ! )and a dog. When I had 4 kids under seven I still did 2 or 3 shifts a week including nights, I'm not moaning or making it into a competition to see who has the hardest life but most mums work these days with young kids, it's just the way it is. My shift job involves dealing with aggressive/ confused patients at 4am after being up all day to if it's my first nightshift. It's just life !! if yu can afford to give it up then do, I wish I could !!

That must be rubbish green :(

User someone asked me what I hated about it. I've already grovelled to you acknowledging my enormous luck in not strictly speaking having to work although it's really more can't afford TO work.

Can't really work until both DCs are at nursery to be honest. We have a joint account. I jus feel bad taking money from it.

But you kind of are babyroobs because really what you're saying is "well because I have to do this you should do this."

It makes me miserable. Obviously there are people worse off, I get that 100% but just the same I feel ill about it every week. It's awful. I hate it THAT much.

Op, you have to just view it as joint family income. You are doing an important job bringing up the kids enabling your dh to work. It's a joint effort and you shouldn't feel guilty about using joint money if both you and your dh have agreed to working things this way.

It's hard to answer that question for you, hence I guess the mixed replies. I would personally do it, but then I have never been dependent on DH and would hate to be (personal choice). In your position I would try to look for something I am happier with. Maybe less hours. If it's minimum wage type job there must be other opportunities around?

It does sound like you don't enjoy it and you want to give up.

No I'm not saying that at all, I'm saying that loads of women work around their partners and giving my own example, it's just that some don't have a choice. if you do have a choice then go for it, you really don't need the approval of a load on mumsnetters to tell you how to live your life.