Shouty horse rider!

[SittinginaSleazySnackBar]

We live in quite a rural area, our boundary fence backs onto a large playing field. We have people parking up with horse boxes alongside the boundary fence quite regularly.
I was playing with DD (1) in our garden this morning, she was just pottering in her Wendy house, not making much noise at all just happily babbling and I was talking back to her.
I then hear a woman trying to get her horse into the horse box and the horse is having none of it, stamping its feet and rearing up.
Next thing I can hear a woman telling me to shut my daughter up, shes scaring her horse.
Was I unreasonable in thinking that a horse should be able to cope with a baby babbling especially if she is riding it along country lanes ! I refused to tell DD to be quiet or to go inside as surely we aren't being unreasonable playing in our own garden !
I have no clue about horses so second guessing whether I was rude, plus we are fairly new to the area and everyone knows each other.

Blubberball you sound deranged.

PS Popcakes BHS publish free leaflet for drivers called "Horse sense for motorists" made in conjunction with Dept of Transport.

( They also publish one for riders before anyone jumps down my throat!!)

Actually Blubberall the baby analogy is a good one. Would you blame a baby or toddler for having a huge screaming meltdown in a supermarket or would you blame it's parent? Hopefully neither, because however hard one tries to train, guide and encourage, toddlers and horses occasionally have freak-outs and meltdowns! It's not always the owner's fault!

"On another note, I know a dog who is very scared of wind turbines. He barks at them and gets very upset. His owner goes a different way for walkies."

Sensible dog owner - he doesn't expect all wind turbines to be decommissioned then because they spook Fido? like some horse riders would

Actually Blubberall the baby analogy is a good one. Would you blame a baby or toddler for having a huge screaming meltdown in a supermarket or would you blame it's parent? Hopefully neither, because however hard one tries to train, guide and encourage, toddlers and horses occasionally have freak-outs and meltdowns! It's not always the owner's fault!

I agree entirely. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault. It's just what it is. You should be able to enjoy your garden in a normal manner, including allowing your dog to be in it and bark when a horse passes, without fear of being sued. You should also expect that when riding your horse in public you will come across others with dogs, umbrellas and plastic bags. If your horse reacts in an adverse way to any of those "triggers" you may be liable.
On the other hand a horse rider is entitled to expect that a dog will not be allowed to approach a horse in an aggressive manner, and that drivers will observe the highway code and slow down when passing. Common courtesy also demands that polite requests from riders to restrain a dog, or take down an umbrella, are complied with.

The owners attitude was her fault though.
We were in our own garden, not being a nuisance or making any noise louder than talking volume. Maybe I should of taken DD inside but she was so rude and I don't think it was me and DD that were the problem, I think her horse just didn't want to get in the box. Her shouting was far louder than DD babbling anyway.
She has quite a distinctive horse box, next time she parks up I might pop out and suggests she parks somewhere else where there isn't likely to be any children (like there is in a park and a cricket playing field ! And next to a garden ! )

The baby/toddler having a meltdown would just be the baby being a baby. The parent shouldn't blame other people/babies/dogs/plastic bags, for their baby having a meltdown. It's down to the parent to be responsible for their toddler, and not shout at other people.

The horse was being a horse. The owner shouldn't have been shouting at a baby or blaming any body else but herself. She put herself and that horse in that situation, and it was no body else's fault.

Of course it's not the owner's fault if a horse jumps at a leaf. If the owner started yelling at the leaf for daring to exist they they would be deranged but it's not their fault of their horse spooks at a leaf.

My severely autistic son has broken window before when he became distressed because someone was sitting in their car outside our house. It's a public road - anyone can sit in their car if they want. But it wasn't my fault he broke the window. Or his for being autistic. Or the bloke's minding his own business in his car. It was just something that happens - like a horse freaking out at a leaf.

The OP's baby shouldn't be paying for the stupid horse owner's mistakes.

YANBU. Sound like she was just getting her knickers in a twist. I have to admit it is easy to try and blame someone else when your ride isn't doing as it's told. But she should know better.

As a owner and rider I have come across a number of obstacles over the years. Thankfully my ex racehorse is accustomed to most unmbrellas, crowds of people etc.

I think though my most memorable incidents was the man bouncing on his trampoline in his back garden. My mare wasn't impressed but to be fair she handled it rather well, only his pretty verge garden got trampled. And the other was when a group of scouts got lost, stopped me to ask for directions and flapped a bloody great ordnance survey map in her face. Again a couple of well placed hooves and all was fine

Stirring how would you have felt if she had been polite? For example we have politely asked someone to stop raking stones while trying to get a young horse past her garden (he was being an idiot about the noise). It was all very polite and she stooped for the twenty seconds it took us to get past and we all said thank you.

hmcAsWas most sensible horse riders don't expect all wind turbines to be decommissioned of course and would in all likelihood choose an alternative route too. However, the difference is that a dog reacting badly to a wind turbine, although distressing for dog and owner, doesn't have the same potential for serious injury or death, that a horse reacting to the same thing would. That's perhaps why horse riders are wrongly perceived as entitled - because the stakes are actually quite high.

Exactly, but then you as the parent wouldn't go around shouting at other people like it's their fault.

Also, this wasn't a leaf. This was a stupid owner parking her horse box, trying to get her unprepared horse in, getting frustrated because she hadn't thought it through, hadn't planned and prepared, trying to rush it instead of allowing the horse time, and then shouting at a baby for playing in her own garden. This was the owner's fault.

She should sell her horse and buy this one (see 3.59) www.willowbrookridingcentre.co.uk/2016/07/13/bella/

That's a fair point Sweepingchange

No one is disagreeing about that particular incident Blubberall

I do strongly disagree with the assertion that it is always -in every circumstance - the owner's fault

See police horse example below

Does your daughter babble like a banshee or something? If so YABU, though if your daughter is an standard human baby babbler then I feel YANBU.

Admittedly I can't be specific on how a baby banshee babbles, not having encountered many baby bansees babbling or otherwise recently; figure it's somewhat noisy though.

If she had been polite I would of apologised and grabbed DD and taken her inside even though I don't think it was us that upset the horse.
But she was beyond rude, especially considering she was parked right next to my garden and next to a children's play park.
When I am in the car I am really considerate to horse riders, and whenever we see them we wave and say hello. I don't have any issue with horses or their riders. It was her attitude that annoyed me.

No-one is saying this particular horse rider was anything but rude. That doesn't mean every time a horse spooks or does something daft it's the owner's fault.

Sometimes she turns into a banshee but on this occasion she was just quietly chatting to herself and me, playing in her Wendy house. She's had croup so she's a bit croaky so not very loud at all !
My voice was louder calling her name and just generally talking nonsense to her.

An animal spooking can't be anyone's fault surely? Unless that person purposely tries to scare the animal.

Thanks hmcAsWas - we're not all demanding horse-faced harridans honest

I didn't even think oh let's go inside she's trying to load her horse as I presumed the horse would be used to talking level voices.
Then it started to go a bit wrong!
If it's the same woman I think it is ( I recognise the box) she is usually with another person and they don't park against our fence.
So maybe she was stressed loading the animal on her own? Still doesn't excuse yelling for a baby to shut up.

I have horses and have worked with them for 30 years.
I once went to a pub with a play area with my child. She was happily playing when about 6 or 7 people on horses appeared and got off and tied their horses to the fence right next to the play area, one of the horses was a bit scared so the lead rider told me to stop my child from playing !
No...

I have horses and I'm not a rude or a snob

The woman was rude, don't tar us all with the same brush. She was probably panicking though if she's stuck on her own with a horse that won't go on the box, it's a nightmare when one won't load and it can take a few people to get it in.

I must admit I wouldn't intentionally take a horse out in public that I wasn't confident would do as I asked but no doubt the horse will show me up at the first opportunity. Much like my child actually