Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school trip to science museum tomorrow is not a great idea ! After Westminster.

191 replies

OopsDearyMe · 23/03/2017 22:17

My daughters school have a trip arranged for tomorrow to the science museum in London. I know I'm gonna look like a bubble wrapper, but I'm not sure why but I'm not comfortable with the idea of a school taking a group of 100 kids to a known landmark and possible terror target , just a few days after what has just happened.

I know the threat is more likely to be for political places , but look at the bataclan (sp) and beach attacks. I know we should be standing firm and not be cowed, bu my daughter is profoundly deaf on one side and as a result gets lost easily and struggles in busy places. Should something happen even nearby, I'm not sure she would be able to react quickly etc.

I'm also annoyed because the statement sent out, was quite insensitive about what happened and was full of feeble reasons as to why they could not cancel (it would cost them to re book the coaches, the terror threat has not been raised and they have plenty of staff).

I used to work in the West End, when 7/7 happened and still went to work, so I'm no snowflake....

OP posts:
angelcakerocks · 23/03/2017 23:14

Their aim is to spread terror. If we become afraid we are terrorised, therefore they have succeeded. If we see it for what it is, a hate fuelled mass murder, which we are statistically highly unlikely to get caught up in, then we can see that we can't live our lives any more afraid of it than of being murdered in any other context, which is a low risk. Then their terrorism becomes less effective.
I know its hard, but what can we do? all stay indoors?

PurpleDaisies · 23/03/2017 23:14

I don't know how respectful it is either to carry on as if nothing happened.

People aren't carrying on as if nothing happened. There's been a massive outpouring of thanks and awe towards the people that helped the injured and the brave police that protect us every day. People are disgusted by these terrorists and don't want them to rule their lives. That's not disrespectful except towards the terrorists.

Itwillbefine · 23/03/2017 23:14

I think your anxiety is perfectly understandable but try not to tell her see it and keep yourself busy tomorrow.

kateandme · 23/03/2017 23:20

p.s make sure you dc feels ok.dont let other fear grow on him.they need to feel saf and that this world can be ok and good.it might help you all,show that terror does not spread and does not continue do damage,this is what the bad people want.to make you sit in fear and drown your lives with it until your stifled.
could it be ok.im not going to say blah blah these things don't happen because they are happening.but keep trying to show heart and strength.
how amazing would it be to have a great day for your dc because there are good places,good people,amazing places to see, when the shit heads want them to be living in fear.

SuperBeagle · 23/03/2017 23:27

Wouldn't bother me at all. I'd carry on with my life and not allow some lunatic fuckwit scare me from doing so.

Darlink · 23/03/2017 23:34

Don't be daft

BackforGood · 23/03/2017 23:40

I agree with so many others, about assessing risks. The risk of there being a terror attack just where your dc is, are so miniscule it is incalculable - you can't go through life with no risk. The risk is far greater of being killed in a traffic accident.
My dd was in London, not that far from the awful attack yesterday (to put into context, she's only been to London 3x in her life I think). Yes, I gave her an extra big hug when she eventually got home, but, quite frankly, I'd still let her go tomorrow if she had a school trip booked then. Her life wouldn't be any more at risk that it is travelling to school in our City.

Original poster
OopsDearyMe · 23/03/2017 23:43

Miniscule is still a risk.

OP posts:
Original poster
OopsDearyMe · 23/03/2017 23:46

Purpledaisies I didn't mean in a general sense, I meant it would be a better lesson in respect, if the school told the children out of respect for those who were affected that the trip was being postponed or cancelled etc.

OP posts:
AmberNectarine · 23/03/2017 23:47

If the same casualties had occurred on the bridge, except the driver had had a heart attack at the wheel with his foot on the accelerator, would you be thinking this way?

angelcakerocks · 23/03/2017 23:49

Yes minuscule is still a risk but nowhere is risk free including school tbh

BackforGood · 23/03/2017 23:51

Indeed, but a lady got killed in storm Doris last month, when she had just nipped out in her lunchbreak from work - is your solution to not go out in your lunchbreak?
A young child was killed on a pedestrian crossing near here (was in court last week) - are you going to avoid using pedestrian crossings?

We could go on and on and on listing terrible things that have happened to people, but, with everything in life, you have to balance the benefits of doing them, against the risk of something going wrong. People are trying to explain that the risks, in this case, are minimal.

AmberNectarine · 23/03/2017 23:52

Also, re carrying on as normal, what would you suggest OP? That I just didn't go to work, send my kids to school or leave my house 'as a mark of respect'?

I highly doubt the victims of this incident would want to see the city cowed by it.

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2017 23:53

Are you suggesting that those going about their daily lives and not letting terrorists win, by disrupting them are not showing any respect??

outputgap · 23/03/2017 23:54

But miniscule is risk you have to learn to live with. Approx 5 people die in road accidents a day in the UK. (About 1750 a year.) That completely dwarfs the terror risk.

AutumnalLeaves38 · 23/03/2017 23:54

BTW, For anyone whose children are stressing about terror attacks, this is a reassuring little article for them to read:

kidshealth.org/en/kids/terrorist-attacks.html

(Would steer clear of the audio version, as it's read by a not-exactly-comforting text-to-speech robotic voice. Very odd choice).

noblegiraffe · 23/03/2017 23:55

A mark of respect would be laying flowers at the scene or signing a book of condolence.

Not avoiding the area because you're scared it might happen to you too.

Doyouwantabrew · 23/03/2017 23:58

oops

I sent my dd on a school trip, a trip she and our other siblings had been on before numerous times and she was fine. However on the way home the coach crashed and she was badly injured. There were fatalities. Totally and utterly unexpected and inexplicable.

A year later she insisted in returning to France where it had happened snd she was fine. We were not fine of course Sad

Shit happens and honestly look at it this way statistically your school run is far more dangerous than the school trip.

However do what you feel best.

Hillfarmer · 24/03/2017 00:03

I think your perception of risk is going into overdrive. You know the chances of another attack are very small, multiplied by the likelihood of any attack being anywhere near your daughter's school trip...then you have a vanishingly small risk.

Yes, very real people are very really dead. That is true but has no bearing on the possibility of your dd being affected. Yes, the dead are 100% dead, may they rest in peace, but their deaths have no impact on your risk, even though they have an emotional impact on you.

I don't think 'carrying on' shows disrespect to the dead and injured. On the contrary, in some way you are annexing the event to magnify your own sense of risk and making it about you. All the millions of people going about their business in London, whatever fleeting fears they may have, are implicitly saying 'this is not about me', which I think is a restrained and decent statement to make.

I feel a bit sorry for your Dd's school having to justify this school trip at all. How on earth would it look if they actually cancelled the trip on the basis of pressure from irrational parents? Pretty feeble, I think.

cakeandeatit · 24/03/2017 00:03

Hello OP,
I don't think YABU. You are worried and you are unsure. I agree with PP in that there is no increased risk. I think that if I were in your shoes I'd try go with what my DC wanted. If they are aware but still wanted to go I would like to think I wouldnt pass on my fears and share their excitement. If they were aware and worried too, I would keep them home but be clear that you were doing it only to make them feel safe not for any other reason.

TheCuriousOwl · 24/03/2017 00:05

You can't live your life in fear that something terrible is going to happen to you every second of the day. You just can't. Statistically you are more likely to be injured or killed in a freak accident at home than by a terrorist in the U.K.

I'm a Londoner and work near where it happened. I do not 'fear for my life' because this happened. Similarly I was in Berlin earlier in the year and NYC 2 years ago, both where terror attacks have happened, was I afraid? No.

I honestly don't get why people now think they should be in daily fear for their lives when terror attacks have been around for a long time not just in the capital.

BillSykesDog · 24/03/2017 00:06

It would be monumentally difficult for terrorists to get hold of guns so Bataclan type things are almost impossible in the UK. They should be fine in the museum. It's often the safest time right after anyway because security is so high.

Mummydummy · 24/03/2017 00:12

I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'm in Westminster and the centre of London all the time and with 8.64 million Londoners the chances of being unlucky are so slim its not even measureable. I'd be more worried about my kids crossing the road or by being in a minor road accident (or being bullied, having their brains fried by electronic devices, choking on crisps, slipping on a wet bathroom floor....).

LilQueenie · 24/03/2017 00:14

I would feel the same but its not likely to try another attack so soon.

laughwithmeleelee · 24/03/2017 00:24

Call me what you like...bubble wrapper or over the top or whatever! I wouldn't send my kids into London on any school trip even before recent events, the staff to children ratio to me just isn't enough in an emergency situation! I completely understand people thinking this is too much but even if there is the slightest risk I wouldn't put my child in the zone, I won't be visiting anywhere on high alert! Smile