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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to warn the driver?

100 replies

Lflossy88 · 23/03/2017 10:17

Yesterday me and DDs were walking home from school when a child who is in reception ran past us way ahead of his mum (who was chatting and allows him to run ahead) and straight across a road without looking (this happens every day and frightens the life out of me).

On this occasion a car was coming out of the garages/private parking where this road leads. Being about 10 feet behind him, pushing Dd3 in the pushchiar and having Dds 1 & 2 either side of me I was too far away to grab him. Luckily the car wasn't going at speed and managed to stop before a collision.

The driver got out, he was quite clearly angry and scared, and started to yell at me for not watching my child (completely understandable). The child's mum caught up with us and ran to her son hugging him and also began to yell at me Confused. Asking why I didn't grab him or stop him! I put this down to her feeling guilty and scared so just carried on walking home. (The driver apologised).

Once at the corner of my cul-de-sac I stopped to chat with a neighbour and low and behold the boy goes running by again!! Straight across the road no mum in sight!!

So now to this morning.

I dropped the girls at their classrooms and was walking across the playground when I was approached by the boy's mum. Assuming she was coming to apologise for yelling at me I stopped to talk to her. She did apologise (in a sickly sweet kind of way) and then went on to ask for my number... When I asked her why she needed it she said "So my lawyer can contact you about the accident yesterday." Hmm When I asked her what accident she stated "When that car hit my son!" Shock.

Now, I am 100% sure that the car stopped about 2 feet from her son and told her so. She then had the gall to ask if I would say the car had bumped her son as the driver's insurance would cover any claim...Angry

I lost my temper at this point and told her if she made a claim against the driver I would report her for fraud. She exploded and started yelling at me as I walked away not even sure what she was saying.

So would IBU to tell the driver (the car was parked in the private parking/garage area this morning) what she was/is planning?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lflossy88 · 23/03/2017 11:13

*issue
**of

OP posts:
OneSecondAfter · 23/03/2017 11:22

Whenever I read these kinds of threads on mumsnet I always wonder, where do mumsnetters live?? I never get caught up in this weird stuff!

mmgirish · 23/03/2017 11:30

What do you mean by "all they have done"? What do you expect them to do? The school can't control things like that. It's up to the parents to look after their own children.

Original poster
Lflossy88 · 23/03/2017 11:36

mmgirish I meant like a proper letter home about road safety. I understand the school can only do so much Smile

OP posts:
PlumsGalore · 23/03/2017 11:41

** Tell the driver, and I would go further and inform the police. Isn't fraud a criminal offence?

This is why car insurance is so expensive **

^ This, this and definitely this!

As someone has been stung not once but twice through dodgy claims and despite having photographic evidence on both occasions to support my innocence my insurance company has paid out in excess of 5k twice this makes me absolutely hopping. She deserves to be taken to court for any claim she does make.

ohfourfoxache · 23/03/2017 11:42

I know you're going to let the driver know, but let the police know too. Absolutely bloody ridiculous of this woman to try a claim - what a bitch Angry

HiMyNameIsUnknown · 23/03/2017 11:44

I would warn the driver. Absolutely disgusted that on at least two occasions she has not closely kept an eye on her child and he could have been knocked over.

I would also tell the insurer the truth of what you saw and what you were asked to do

girlsofsummer · 23/03/2017 11:48

I would tell the headteacher.

HarmlessChap · 23/03/2017 11:50

She is probably seeing this as a "victimless" way to make money. However the driver would have an increased policy premium and may well have an excess to pay so her plans would have a clear financial impact on the driver.

She's a cold and calculating and needs to learn to take responsibility for her child rather than using them as a cash cow.

She also wants you to be an accessory to fraud.

YANBU

jcsp · 23/03/2017 11:50

Out of decency you need to speak to the driver.

To look after yourself, as it looks as if you are being drawn into this, you need to have an off the record talk to the police. See what they say.

Not sure who to speak to first.

CP

shillwheeler · 23/03/2017 12:04

Not just fraud OP, can't see how anyone would treat their own kid like that. Very nasty for you to deal with, and, yes, I would tell the driver/school. Unless you are feeling a bit Machiavellian yourself, in which case give her your number, make a note of what really happened, and spill the beans when the insurers contact you (head your reply to them "Insurance fraud").

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 23/03/2017 12:14

Don't leave a note, she might swipe it.

acatcalledjohn · 23/03/2017 12:26

She sounds like a wonderful mother...

I would agree with PPs who have suggested reporting to SS, because if this continues she will one day have to make a genuine claim whilst her DC is in hospital/injured/dead.

And she'd still blame that on the driver rather than her inability to keep her child safe.

Funnyface1 · 23/03/2017 12:29

I see this type of parenting regularly on the school run and have had both looks and comments from home owners and drivers who automatically assume the child half under their wheels is with me purely because I'm in the vicinity and have a horrified look on my face (despite always holding the hand of my actual child).

First of all i would have told that mother off if she dared shout at me for not 'saving' her child but i can understand you were probably very shocked.

I would absolutely go and warn the driver, what an outrageous thing for that woman to do. I cannot believe on a daily basis how thoughtless some people are with their child's safety. The near misses i have seen make me shiver. Hope you can find the driver and tell him.

QuinionsRainbow · 23/03/2017 12:44

Surely if he had hit her child there would have to be doctors reports etc and some kind on injury on the child? How is she going to come up with that one?

Also, the incident should have been reported to the Police within 24 hours:

Highway Code Section 286.
If you are involved in a collision which causes damage or injury to any other person, vehicle, animal or property, you MUST

  • stop
  • give your own and the vehicle owner’s name and address, and the registration number of the vehicle, to anyone having reasonable
  • if you do not give your name and address at the time of the collision, report it to the police as soon as reasonably practicable, and in any case within 24 hours.

Law RTA 1988 sect 170

FrizzBombDelight · 23/03/2017 12:54

Unfortunateevents Apparently she is traumatised  It involved a car mounting a kerb, she was walking down the other side of the road 

CalmItKermitt · 23/03/2017 12:58

Absolutely tell the driver! Disgusting woman 😡

helpimitchy · 23/03/2017 13:06

Tell the driver and also offer your position as a witness.

Vile, fraudulent woman Angry

Trefonen · 23/03/2017 13:14

Fraud is a criminal offence. Definitely tell the other driver

londonrach · 23/03/2017 13:21

Report to driver and the police. What an awful mother. One day her little boy will be really hurt unless she keeps him nearer.

londonrach · 23/03/2017 13:21

Agree re ss report too

pluck · 23/03/2017 13:25

So glad that this isn't an example of the Mind Your Own Business reaction so many MN threads receive!

Definitely pursue this!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 23/03/2017 13:25

I would have said sure, here are my details and smiled sweetly at her. Then dropped her in it BIG TIME when I was contacted, the insurance company should be told that she's trying to lodge false claims.

I'd definitely go and see the man.

I'd go to the local police station too.

I'd go and talk to the Head.

I'd call SS. I have said this 3 times on MN and I've been here pretty much since it started. They might not be able to do much, but maybe they'll turn up & give her a bloody big fright. Though fuck knows what it will take to do that given him almost being hit didn't scare the shit out of her.

The other thing I'd do, if I saw him running ahead again, is bollock the kid. In a way that frightens him too, in the hope that it will mean he stays with his Mum & doesn't run ahead. If that's what it takes to keep him safer then so be it.

bignamechangeroonie · 23/03/2017 13:26

I'd tell the driver, the police, and SS

Her lack of fucking parenting is putting her kid in danger.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/03/2017 13:47

I would tell the school about the child being allowed to run ahead, not observing proper crossing routines etc. (Not about the suggested insurance fraud)

Why on earth wouldn't you tell someone that a young child is potentially being allowed to be placed at risk for the potential purpose of a insurance payout.