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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want to warn the driver?

100 replies

Lflossy88 · 23/03/2017 10:17

Yesterday me and DDs were walking home from school when a child who is in reception ran past us way ahead of his mum (who was chatting and allows him to run ahead) and straight across a road without looking (this happens every day and frightens the life out of me).

On this occasion a car was coming out of the garages/private parking where this road leads. Being about 10 feet behind him, pushing Dd3 in the pushchiar and having Dds 1 & 2 either side of me I was too far away to grab him. Luckily the car wasn't going at speed and managed to stop before a collision.

The driver got out, he was quite clearly angry and scared, and started to yell at me for not watching my child (completely understandable). The child's mum caught up with us and ran to her son hugging him and also began to yell at me Confused. Asking why I didn't grab him or stop him! I put this down to her feeling guilty and scared so just carried on walking home. (The driver apologised).

Once at the corner of my cul-de-sac I stopped to chat with a neighbour and low and behold the boy goes running by again!! Straight across the road no mum in sight!!

So now to this morning.

I dropped the girls at their classrooms and was walking across the playground when I was approached by the boy's mum. Assuming she was coming to apologise for yelling at me I stopped to talk to her. She did apologise (in a sickly sweet kind of way) and then went on to ask for my number... When I asked her why she needed it she said "So my lawyer can contact you about the accident yesterday." Hmm When I asked her what accident she stated "When that car hit my son!" Shock.

Now, I am 100% sure that the car stopped about 2 feet from her son and told her so. She then had the gall to ask if I would say the car had bumped her son as the driver's insurance would cover any claim...Angry

I lost my temper at this point and told her if she made a claim against the driver I would report her for fraud. She exploded and started yelling at me as I walked away not even sure what she was saying.

So would IBU to tell the driver (the car was parked in the private parking/garage area this morning) what she was/is planning?

OP posts:
Fruitcocktail6 · 23/03/2017 10:47

She sounds vile and an awful mother, I am worried that child will one day get hit by a car.
You should tell the driver and the school.

YourHandInMyHand · 23/03/2017 10:47

I'd consider informing the school about it too tbh. Say you were shaken up by it, child might be too, and that after this morning's odd behaviour by mum you are also concerned for mum's motives, emotional stability, and safeguarding levels.

Reporting it so it is logged as a concern may be a puzzle piece of a bigger picture and will allow school to keep an eye on the child.

So shocked she let him run off again after such a scary near miss! Shock

harderandharder2breathe · 23/03/2017 10:47

What a cow! Definitely warn the driver and give them your details as a witness that there wasn't an accidrnt

YourHandInMyHand · 23/03/2017 10:48

And no, YANBU I would warn the driver too.

RaeofSun · 23/03/2017 10:48

Yes tell the driver. Horrible experience for the driver. That mother is vile for so many reasons.

Noodoodle · 23/03/2017 10:49

Yes agree, tell the driver.
Can't believe a parent would have the nerve to do that. She let him run off, how would it even be his fault? The child would've been too small to see above a car yes? And the driver stopped so clearly was alert and paying attention and not speeding. I think if it were me, in that circumstance I'd be too ashamed I'd let that happen to my child to actually blame someone else for it!

peaceloveandbiscuits · 23/03/2017 10:50

What a disgusting woman. What price for your child being injured, possibly fatally?

IntoTheDeep · 23/03/2017 10:52

I would definitely tell the driver, and I agree you should give the driver your contact details as a witness .

Verbena37 · 23/03/2017 10:53

Definitely tell the driver and tell school, flagging it up with them using the words 'safeguarding issue'. Perhaps keep a diary of when you see him running off.

I would also be tempted ( because the mother is knowingly putting that child at risk every day) reporting her to children's services.

Original poster
Lflossy88 · 23/03/2017 10:54

Thanks everyone. I'll pop down after DD3's nap and see if I can find his house. If not I'll leave a note on the windshield.

OP posts:
cantkeepawayforever · 23/03/2017 10:55

I would tell the school about the child being allowed to run ahead, not observing proper crossing routines etc. (Not about the suggested insurance fraud)

IME, at the very least the school will run a 'road safety' assembly, and at best may have a quiet word with the parent.

Underbeneathsies · 23/03/2017 10:57

Whatever about the driver, that child needs to be looked after by someone who isn't going to sell his mutilated body, or death to fund her lifestyle.

You need to ring social services and tell them everything.

That child is in danger of injury or death.

I would ring the police as well and have an informal chat and let them know what's going on.

However, be warned that it's her word against yours at this point regarding the police and anything you say is unsubstantiated without evidence.

Social services will take your statement clearly, and the child will be removed from danger, and that's the most important thing.

It's unfortunate the driver may well be embroiled in something, but the child's safety away from that immoral, money grabbing wretch is the most important thing at this point.

He needs to be safe. Ring social services and have a chat with the police.

Pigface1 · 23/03/2017 10:57

YANBU. In fact YABVVVR.

She's basically planning a 'cash for crash' insurance fraud. Worse still - she's brazenly asked you to be a party to that fraud!! It's a serious criminal offence!!

As everyone else has said - this is the reason everyone's insurance premiums are skyrocketing.

I am sure you wouldn't do this from what you've said but please don't under any circumstances allow yourself to be bullied into saying the car DID hit her son - that would make you a party to the fraud.

What a nasty bit of work!!

Forager · 23/03/2017 10:57

That woman is an utter disgrace! Can you imagine the devastation of child cause someone being falsely accused of hitting a child with a car.

I assume it wouldn't just be the insurance company who would be involved, but the police too.

I would definitely warn the driver.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/03/2017 11:01

I'd leave the driver your contact details with a note that you can confirm child wasn't hit.

Butteredparsnip1ps · 23/03/2017 11:02

Definitely tell the driver and tell school, flagging it up with them using the words 'safeguarding issue'. Perhaps keep a diary of when you see him running off

I would also be tempted ( because the mother is knowingly putting that child at risk every day) reporting her to children's services

this. Some People. Hmm

ineedwine99 · 23/03/2017 11:05

Tell him. She's disgusting and extremely bloody lucky her son wasn't hit. I'm in shock she wants to pretend he was, thats the stuff of patents nightmares.

ineedwine99 · 23/03/2017 11:05

Parents!* can't bloody type

Oldraver · 23/03/2017 11:07

Yes another one that would definitely warn the driver.

I had something similar happen yesterday, slowly pulling out of a garage area when two kids jumped out in front of me, one of them jumping up and down waving his arms and laughing at me, then his sister opened the car door (into the road)....all the time the Mum who had strode on ahead ON HER FRIKKIN PHONE, and was faffing with the car boot. Totally and utterly oblivious to her kids

Jaxhog · 23/03/2017 11:08

Probability is that she won't do anything, now she knows you know. But tell the other driver and offer to be a witness for him.

Also a good idea to write down now what you saw. While it's fresh in your mind.

theBaldSoprano · 23/03/2017 11:08

Social services will take your statement clearly, and the child will be removed from danger, and that's the most important thing

Hmm One of my kids school is at a bottom of a steep hill, and all the kids are hurtling down with their bikes or scooters without any regard for cars who could be pulling out their drives. The residents are aware so are very cautious, some of the kids are tiny! It's a scary sight, but not sure social services would intervene.

diddl · 23/03/2017 11:09

Yes you should warn him!

What is she trying to claim for?

Even if her son was hit, which thankfully wasn't the case, he's up & about the next day!

Original poster
Lflossy88 · 23/03/2017 11:10

I have raised the isue of children running across roads before and all they have done is add a note to the fortnightly newsletter (about the size on the headlice warning).
As for this incident I dont know any specifics like the names of the Mother or child. I'll have to ask around at pick up today.

OP posts:
Verbena37 · 23/03/2017 11:12

Once you have her name, call social services.
Even if they choose to do nothing, you will have reported it and it will be on record.

WhereYouLeftIt · 23/03/2017 11:13

Yes, I would contact the driver if I could. And give him my contact details as a witness to the non-accident.

I might also consider phoning the police non-emergency number 101 and asking about whether her intention to commit fraud was a criminal or civil offence.

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