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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be dreading mothers day for such a stupid reason?

24 replies

BCGRMDP · 22/03/2017 23:31

i became a mum of two in october so first kothers day with youngest. been through absolute hell since before i was pregnant with him and am now a lone single mum.

it really is getting me down that mothers day is not going to be even acknowledged for me. i dont want a card or a present just a "happy mothers day" message from someone who knows me on behalf of the kids would be amazing. instead i just feel like its showing me just how bloody alone i am and how no one cares about us.

OP posts:
ZackyVengeance · 22/03/2017 23:38

Well if it makes yo feel better mine is 20 something
Imwont get a card or anything as it will upset dc
Yours will do it themselves one day
They love you

Foslady · 22/03/2017 23:54

In the early years I took it as more of a treat day wth the family - me sorting out the treat! Not sure how old the eldest is, but if an age where they can play with play dough why not make biscuits together (taking it that the younger one naps?) least that way you can have quality time and they've moulded you a treat (poor consolation I know, but it's a way of trying to get a nice thing for you).

ErrolTheDragon · 22/03/2017 23:58

Flowersno, its not stupid. You're having to do this alone with them, you deserve some appreciation on mothers' day. You will get it when they're bigger.

Original poster
BCGRMDP · 23/03/2017 00:06

oldest is a non verbal two year old.

its just the fact its showing me just how alone we are

OP posts:
ZackyVengeance · 23/03/2017 00:09

do you mean nt 2 year old or one with sn?

Original poster
BCGRMDP · 23/03/2017 00:15

one that is in the early stages of assessments for sen

OP posts:
ZackyVengeance · 23/03/2017 00:22

that is hadr and must make all mothers day stuff hard.
but it will get better honest. even if there is SN

JonesyAndTheSalad · 23/03/2017 00:24

You're not alone...you have your children Flowers they're just too young to appreciate anything.

Mark the day...make it a tradition. Have cake, flowers and do a craft with your oldest....handprints or similar.

Get yourself a treat. The day will come when they do it for you.

jellybeanteaparty · 23/03/2017 00:26

Other than places to eat out (busiest day of the year for many of them!), lots of places are quiet on Mothers day like legoland, zoos and family attractions etc so could be a good day to have a family treat and celebrate to yourself what an uber mother you are.

Definitelydrowningthistime · 23/03/2017 00:27

Are you anywhere near Hampshire? Come and join me and my two ragamuffins. I'm even bringing a stand-in mum for me (boyfriend's mum) because he's made no plans. My mum died many years ago so nothing for me to do sadly and my two girls are too young to do too much.
I understand how crap it can be as a single parent. This is the first Mother's Day in years that I've had both of mine with me. I won't go into the long boring details about why but they have different dads and I work shifts.
Alternatively, have a DVD and duvet day.Smile

TheFormidableMrsC · 23/03/2017 00:39

Bless you OP, I totally understand what you mean. My first Mother's Day after my husband left really upset me as he didn't bother to even get a card from our DS, nothing, he was only 3 so couldn't have done anything himself. So hurtful. I would do something nice for yourself on the day, even if a bottle of wine, some chocolate, flowers, just something that's for you, make a nice lunch or dinner and have a nice day with you kids. I hope you manage to have a lovely day Flowers

Bestthingever · 23/03/2017 15:06

I do understand how you feel. However even if you had a partner with you, there's no guarantee he'd be doing anything for you. I didn't get anything for Mother's Day til ds1 was old enough to know about it and it's been very up and down since. I decided to create my own tradition with dd and now go for afternoon tea every year at our favourite place. Perhaps you could have a picnic or go out for lunch together.

MumW · 23/03/2017 16:41

YANBU, it's tough. I think making your own traditions is the way forward too.

If nothing else get yourself a card and get the children to write (scribble) on it. Explain what mothers day is about and have a cake and say "Now we'll have my mothers day cake, this is when you give me the card" and make a big thing of opening it. As they get older, you can take them to choose a card from the shop.

As you are on your own, you will have to teach them what mothers day is so decide what you want in the future and make that your mission.

You don't say anything about your own mother. If appropriate you write a card and make/buy a cake so they see you doing something for your mum too.

My OH has decided we are going to IKEA on Sunday to buy study furniture. Usually I cook Sunday lunch for both sets of parents, which I don't mind doing as it's to treat them but sometimes I do think what about me. Not sure which is worse, IKEA or entertaining, TBH. My oldest (at Uni) sorts herself out now but still sit here wondering if OH will remember to take youngest out.

ErrolTheDragon · 26/03/2017 09:46

FlowersHappy mothers day for the OP and all other mothers whose children are too little to tell you themselves yet.

NassauBeach · 26/03/2017 09:48

Happy Mother's Day OP CakeFlowers

Ihavefriends · 26/03/2017 10:04

Happy mother's day, from someone similarly isolated. Although, my mum lives up the road, but refuses to speak to me today, because she's grieving her mother (who she hated) who died five years ago. Go figure.

Ihavefriends · 26/03/2017 10:06

Ooo, I love IKEA! Your DH should cook while you go to IKEA.

However, having a DH at IKEA is nothing like the loneliness of lone parenting.

babybubblescomingsoon · 26/03/2017 10:14

Happy Mother's Day OP. I don't know you but I feel like you're doing an absolutely brilliant job Flowers

stilllearnin · 26/03/2017 10:43

BCG not stalking you, honest!! Happy mothers day. I love the idea of starting your own traditions...that's a lovely part of having your own family.

My 16 year old won't have got me anything but we will go for a walk in the woods and we will have a cuddle, and I am so grateful for that. I have just finished a letter to my 12 year old dd. I am expecting some nastiness from her (I don't live with my children because their dad keeps us apart). But I will have to accept what I get. My children are important so I have to stay as strong as I can. Sunny where I am. I hope you can get out with your children. Keep going! Star

knackeredinyorkshire · 26/03/2017 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Penfold007 · 26/03/2017 10:56

Happy Mother's Day from me Cake Brew. You've been through hell but have two lovely DC enjoy them

Original poster
BCGRMDP · 26/03/2017 18:08

wow just seen these. thank you so much. you have all cheered me up.

took them to the farm today and we had a good time and shes happy!

their present to me was only one wake up 1am-6am :D

OP posts:
JT05 · 26/03/2017 18:44

Flowers wait till their in their 30s with their own children. They will appreciate the loving caring parent that you are!
A bit of a long wait, but worth it!

stilllearnin · 26/03/2017 19:03

Fantastic stuff Smile

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