Bedtime for 12 year old?

[queribus]

My dd, 12, is sent up to bed at 9pm and allowed to read, text etc until 9.30pm. It's then lights out. She claims ALL her friends have their phones all night and don't go to bed until at least 10pm. So, what is a reasonable bedtime for a 12 yo (year 7). Not having the phone in the room all night isn't up for negotiation, but bedtime might be

[Oblomov17]

Ds1 has phone in bedroom and often doesn't sleep till gone 10pm and easily gets up pre 7am. He has always needed little sleep.

[Lweji]

It depends what time she gets up.

DS often goes at 10:30, but wakes up most days at 8am. Only one day at 7.

[booellesmum]

DD age 12 goes up about 10 and reads until 10.30.
I wake her up at 7.10 for school.

[BarbarianMum]

9pm here, and no screens kept in bedroom over night (house rule). He needs to be up by 6.30am

[RJnomore1]

9.30 here. Occasionally later at weekends. She's tired tonight so she's just taking herself to bed now.

[Lweji]

Mind you, DS is still at football practice. So, no chance of an early bedtime.

[FarAwayHills]

DD is the same age and no phone after 830, bed by 9 and lights out about 930. Absolutely no phone in her room at night, get an alarm clock if you need to. Who could get any sleep with Snapchats and group chats going on all night. Kids need a break from it so they can rest properly.

[originalbiglymavis]

We aim for 8:30-9 to get into bed then a bit of reading time. He's up at 6:30 though. I'd go to bed at 9 if I could!

[NennyNooNoo]

Sounds perfectly reasonable. DS is 12 and has lights out between 9.30 and 10. By 9 pm every night he is getting ready for bed /reading.

[aquashiv]

1. 30 lights out 9pm. No phones no screens.

[Brollsdolls]

How do you get you 12 year olds in bed so early?! Do none of them have clubs / activities that fish late?

My 9 year old doesn't finish Cubs until 8.30 one night, 8pm for running club another night and we don't get home from music lessons until 8.45 another night, so it is pretty difficult to then bundle them in to bed after that.

My 13 year old usually goes up around 10. 10.30 on Saturday

[PatriciaHolm]

Experience shows that sleep later than about 9.30 = serious trauma for getting up at 7, so no, my 12 year old doesn't do clubs that involve getting to bed later than 9. It's just not worth the grief.

[sticklebrix]

Brollsdolls I don't let my 6.30 riser do clubs that finish late. It just causes too many problems in the morning. One club finishes at 8, but we make sure that tea is on the table when DC comes home at 8.10. DC shovels down tea, has a quick shower and is in bed by 8.30. We use the Screen Time app, which automatically switches the phone off overnight.

Another DC needs less sleep and we'll probably be more flexible as they get older.

[BiscuitMillionaire]

Surely it depends what time the child needs to be up in the morning, which depends on their journey to school, parents' routine, etc.

[WeAllHaveWings]

Ds(13) starts getting ready at 9:00, in bed before 9:30 to read (no phone allowed), and he usually puts light off before 10 because he gets fed up reading.

If I glance at the front screen of his phone in the morning before he's up I can see certain 4 or 5 friends are snap chatting until 11:30ish or later on school nights. It's always the same ones and definitely not all.

Ds asks if he can do the same instead of reading, I ask him if these particular friends are tired in school or doing well in tests and that always shuts him up (I am aware this might not be the nicest thing to say )

[coffeetasteslikeshit]

My 12 yo is in bed by 9pm and then reads until he is ready to turn the light off himself. We check around 10pm and it's normally already off. He gets up at 6.30am.