to be pissed off that ds has dropped out of college?

[user1490188174]

ds is 19 and was in his 3rd year of college, he finished his maths a level in his second year, they then let him stay for an extra year to retake his other subject's exams as he failed. he was set to do the exams in may/june and they have all been paid for, etc. he was actually set to do pretty well. he has decided that he doesn't want to use those subjects ever again and he hates them, etc. etc. and has got a place on an access course for october. i appreciate its a different subject but why couldnt he have just stayed and sat the exams and then still done the course after. now he has upped his shifts until October but i am still not getting it. aibu to make him pay back the exams? we had paid for them. i am really quite pissed off. he is going to get lots of "why did you take 3 years to do 1 a level" and its not going to look very good when he applies for uni imo.

I think you should ask for the exam fees back. It does seem ridiculous to have got this far (the waste of another year) to start an access course - so it will be four years then since his GCSE's.

I know as parents we have to be supportive but I would not be impressed at all.

YANBU to be disappointed and concerned, not pissed off- but it is his choice.

Access courses are the equivalent of A Levels, so if he finished his exams and got good enough marks in them for university then he wouldn't even eligible for funding for an access course as he would already have a L3 equivalent qualification. Yes, technically he would still be able to do it- but he would have to pay for it and I think they are over £1000.

It is possible he has changed his mind about his future plans and now wants to do this access course in order to get on to his chosen university programme.

To me OP he seems responsible enough- he has upped his hours at work. Most 19 year olds would choose to doss around the house all day!

wobblywonderwoman i completely agree, 4 years seems silly too. i dont know how he is going to explain that one! what are the chances of getting the exam money back?

FataliePorkman i think access courses are written off if you go to uni even if you have l3 qualifications? and he has an a level in maths so surely thats classed as a l3 qualification? yes he has changed his mind and thats fine and i would support him with that but he should have sat the exams imo he has spend the whole year doing it.

Yes but you need a certain number of A Levels in order to go to university- he won't get in with just one.

It is difficult for me to explain on a forum but you have to have so many UCAS points and if he already had them he wouldn't be eligible for access course funding but as he doesn't he will.

Has he spoken to you about what he wants to do a access course in and what he wants to do at university?

Say for example he was doing Maths and Science A Levels and wanted to be a Doctor and has now decided he wants to work in IT- he would be more likely to get on to a university course working on a access course in IT then he would in unrelated subjects.

FataliePorkman oh so if he had gotten 3 a levels he couldnt have gotten the loan for the access course? that makes sense. he wants to do the access course in science and do biological sciences at uni. he was doing psychology and sociology a levels with his maths.

Exactly OP. I honestly wouldn't worry too much about him- as long as he keeps himself busy then it isn't much of a issue. I understand your disappointed though.

Make him look at the entry requirements for course and future job roles and take it from there. It sounds like he was to get a career but doesn't want to put he work in well is hard and making him sit his alevel is the first step if he can't even do that how is he going to do essays and exams at degree level

To be honest, he doesn't sound ready for exams or uni. I'd let him work, get the nonsense out of his system and if he wants to come back to exams later then he can.

LoriD he has looked and knows what uni he wants to go to. a local not the best one but if hes happy thats fine with me so he has looked. im just a bit pissed off that he has wasted this year. he also did pass his maths so he can do it i know he can but its so annoying that he didnt decide that when he was going to do the extra year.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy hes going to college in october (again!) so it will be then. although i suppose now hes 19 its not really a 'let' or 'not let' situation. im just annoyed.