Does anyone actually find parenting 'easy'?

[MadJeffBarn]

I've met several people who genuinely have no complaints. Don't mind the lack of sleep, somehow manage to get their kids to keep still in restaurants, and do activities everyday.
I on the other hand, am really struggling to keep my head above water. I live in a tiny house with two children with huge personalities. I'm abit of an introvert while kids and dh are extroverts. I like my personal space and peace and quiet but it's literally impossible here. My youngest is 2.5 and still wakes in the night and is up super early. I have a mountain of housework to do when they do eventually fall asleep. By the time I'm done I'm so exhausted I fall asleep and have no mental time to recuperate. I'm mad at my kids all the time, at least it feels that way. It's getting to the point where I don't feel cut out to be a mum, and I feel awful because it took alot for us to even have children (PCOS) and now I'm moaning and struggling to keep on top of it all!

Sorry not really an aibu but I need to vent!

Easy is not the word I'd associate with parenting. It's a long journey and ever changing. Everyone enjoys different stages. Every child is different. The one thing i didn't anticipate is the amount I would worry as a parent. I always considered myself fairly laid back and never worried about much at all before becoming a mum.

I think it's a myth that it gets easier as they get older. Maybe it depends what bits you found hard about babies/toddlers.

Mine are 12 (going on 15 ), 10 and 8. Give me their baby years to deal with any day. When I had three aged 4 and under, the main issue I faced was my own tiredness.

Now I have tiredness plus having to deal with fighting, backchatting, oppositional behaviour, doing things they know are wrong, emotional struggles, not going to bed till much later because of their age. This is all part of growing up and it's not all the time, but it's way harder than when they were tiny - for me, anyway. At least then they were more predictable and it boiled down to whether they were hungry, tired or bored!

But DC3 is a dream so far. If I only had him, I would be saying how easy parenting is...

Everyone finds it different, to me it's not difficult but I'm realistic in my expectations.

It's a while since mine were toddlers but I remember never identifying with the posts I read on here from people who struggled with everything and seemed to spend their whole lives fighting with their toddlers about things that I couldn't see the point of.

My eldest is nearly an adult now and I genuinely don't remember anything specific that was hard, you expect to be tired, not to go out much and for your days with babies and toddlers to be fairly mundane and repetitive don't you?

But I don't think any of that is going to make you feel any better OP

Op. It gets easier, it really does. I am happy to tell anyone that the early years were not for me. It's all about the basics, poo and clearing it up, food and trying to get it in them, sleep, and trying to get them to do some. No space ( and I need looooooots of space), all dullness, it's like being a Neanderthal.

And then they start becoming children, as opposed to toddlers, they can do some of the basics of life without you, they become interesting. You start being able to carve out a life for yourself again, and they are a lovely part of it.
and don't tell anyone but I think all people who like toddlers are control freaks who like to micro manage

You will get some space, you will get your life back, and you will enjoy being a mother.

We've been very lucky, two very laid back children with 3.5 years between them, DS first - at the moment they're very nearly 12 and 8.5 and get on very well, good,sleep routines, kind to each other, good at settling down to home work .- I am expecting nightmare teens as they can't possibly continue like this!

I always feel like we should tag team as people always find different bits hard

For me,

0-3 months = bliss
3-15 months = frustrating, boring, hard
15m-3y = wonderful apart from the eating issues
3-5 years = utter utter hell
5-8 years = fine

Haven't got past that yet.

Ohyes that's funny because I often think the opposite. I liked the toddler bit because I mostly went along with what DS wanted to do and it was great, minimal battles. It became harder when he was over 3 because he stopped wanting to do stuff that made sense (even if only to him) and just became contrary and argumentative over nothing which was generally awful.

My friend who has 4 reckons that when you have any children under five you're "in the trenches" of parenting.

And OP, it gets easier, and don't be afraid to ask your DH for more support. I think a big reason I find things easier now is that DH and I definitely support each other in things like time off and housework.

DS is worse at the moment when he's tired. He started rubbing his eyes and whinging so I picked him up for a cuddle. He now arches his back, drives his head into my arm and kicks the shit out of my right thigh while he fights having a sleep. I don't get babies - they're tired so they kick off lol. He also likes to go uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh for ages.

I've started putting him down on the play mat when he does this. I'm not fighting with a seven month old lol. He's going in his bed in a minute. I'm looking forward to him being able to say what the matter is rather than making the same noise on a loop which is so annoying I want to shove plugs in my ears.