Does anyone actually find parenting 'easy'?

[MadJeffBarn]

I've met several people who genuinely have no complaints. Don't mind the lack of sleep, somehow manage to get their kids to keep still in restaurants, and do activities everyday.
I on the other hand, am really struggling to keep my head above water. I live in a tiny house with two children with huge personalities. I'm abit of an introvert while kids and dh are extroverts. I like my personal space and peace and quiet but it's literally impossible here. My youngest is 2.5 and still wakes in the night and is up super early. I have a mountain of housework to do when they do eventually fall asleep. By the time I'm done I'm so exhausted I fall asleep and have no mental time to recuperate. I'm mad at my kids all the time, at least it feels that way. It's getting to the point where I don't feel cut out to be a mum, and I feel awful because it took alot for us to even have children (PCOS) and now I'm moaning and struggling to keep on top of it all!

Sorry not really an aibu but I need to vent!

parenting isn't easy, not ever!

But what I will say is, the days you feel like this, will soon enough melt away.

In a few blinks of an eye, you will look back and see the days where the kids were loud, seem so far away.

DD is now nine years old, she spends much of the evenings in the laptop completing assignments she wasn't set by her teacher, or her head in the latest book from the library.
A few years ago all I wanted was 30 seconds of peace! They grow and change, and you'll feel at times you are doing amazingly well and it's easy (there are days I feel like I MUST have forgotten something because we've gotten through the day too easily- others I feel that I've had the whole world chucked at me)

Good luck Hun!

I wouldn't say its easy but I do think how you do things makes a big impact. I clean and tidy throughout the day, it literally feels like I do it all day other than when I'm doing things with the children but its worth it as then once the kids are in bed I have a little time for me. I have a 4 year old, 2 year old and 5 week old. We are out and about a lot as staying in all day is actually harder, the kids get bored and make more mess!

Little things help. I wash clothes as soon as there's enough for a load, I never ever let the basket fill up. I wash dishes as soon as possible and never go to bed with any to do, I clean the bathroom while the kids are in the bath, I hoover in the morning while the kids eat breakfast and then feed baby straight after. When I do things like polishing I do it on the days my 4 year old is at preschool and my 2 year old 'helps'. She loves having her own cloth and helping mummy. I also often do things like make packed lunches the night before for the children so if we have a really busy day ahead I know they have their lunch made up in the fridge, they love it!

I found mine really easy, even with two with SN, until they were teens. I was Widowed and had little money, but I loved family life.

14-16, was a nightmare, with two of them.

Now, negotiating them having relationship issues, as Adults, is stressful.

I'm now enjoying my GD, even doing overnights from six weeks. I'm hoping that her teen years are easier from a Nan's perspective.

I find it easy... sometimes. And I pay more attention to those times, because if I focussed on the difficult bits I'd feel miserable.

I think different people are good and different stages. I'm good with toddlers, so right now (when I have toddlers!) I'm finding it relatively easy. I'm sure teenagers will be a whole differently ball game!

Also, I have very low standards when it comes to housework

I've found it pretty plain sailing and what I expected.

Hardest job in the world. But also the most satisfying.

I think anyone that says it's all rainbows and unicorns 24 hrs a day is either lying or high on coke

We've had some bumps along the way, but I think we've had it easier than some. The boys are 16 and 18 this year and are lovely lads. The only problem at the moment is the eldests maths school work but I stank at maths myself so understand. Yes, I think we've been very lucky.

In order of preference I throughly enjoy the teen years, well one is 20 now and the other is nearly 18. These years have been fabulous. Loads of adventures, doing more grown up stuff together, travelling, watching them make their career choices. They have lovely girlfriends and are excelling in their chosen sport. I have every minute of these years. It's great having debates with them from everything from politics, religion, best indie band to the best mountain walks in Europe!

Primary school years were really good but it was hard juggling shift work, all the afterschool clubs, parents assemblies at school etc. It was during these years the house started filing up with kids. All their friends congregated here so there was always something going on. This still happens!

I wasn't over keen on the toddler stage, I mean I was pleased they were there but sometimes they were whiney and got on my nerves. and teatime became a drudge. I made a point of going somewhere different every Saturday and Sunday as much as possible and had loads of overnight breaks which I'm glad I did. It helped to break the monotony of the week up.
The last 3 weeks of pregnancy and first few weeks after birth were the absolute worst for me. I wondered what the hell I was doing!

The thing that made things easy for me was that the boys got into a bed time routine and did sleep well. When they did wake up DH did a lot of the putting them back to bed ( when they were toddlers)
I think having a partner that has the same views and supports you to the max goes a long way to making things easy

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it does get easier! With regard to housework, just try to prioritise. Don't do it all.

With regard to getting mad with the kids, pick your battles! Something's are really important but other stuff isn't! Just keep saying to yourself, it's just a phase. If they are doing things that are annoying you I found distraction techniques worked the best rather than shouting at them.

Everyone needs to vent !!

Yes, I think I have found parenting quite easy. DP is a great father, however - I am not doing this alone

Managing any group of humans uses similar techniques and I often use skills I learned during my MBA or at work

ds is 7 months and I only just feel like I know what I'm doing! There are times in the day he is hilarious - rolling around and smiling and looking at everything. I'm doing some BLW and he loves it. It's fascinating watching him and I just fall in love with him every day. I never worry about taking him out as he's happy as anything in his pushchair or a shopping trolley watching the world.

In between all this we get the baby that won't nap, or the baby who shrieks and screams when I try to get him to, or the baby who (somehow as it's short) will not stop grabbing my hair and pulling or who flails one arm about or pulls my bottom lip. The baby who has days where nothing I do will entertain him, or the baby who no matter what else is around makes a beeline for the iPhone charger in the corner of the room so he can try and eat it. The baby who has left me sobbing when he was smaller as nothing I did could calm him, who would scream if I left the room or who just would not sleep in the day. The four month sleep regression that nearly killed me...

We are lucky he sleeps 11 hours a night and is 90% of the time awesome. But there have been times it's been hell on earth and I've cried and cried. No one warned me how bloody lonely and hard maternity leave could be.

Over all I do. I've had odd moments over the last 22 years (I have 2 adults, one teen and one in infant school) but In the main I do wonder why so many people keeping saying it's such a slog, sorry.

I think it can depend on the child. I had my DD at 18 and she was a darling baby. We had no terrible twos, no problems at school , no problems with socialising. She's always managed her own timetable of homework without needing to be checked up on. She has always behaved as she hates getting told off. She has the most amusing and easy going nature. It's not to do with my parenting , she's just a nice human being basically. The last 18 years have flown by and I'd do it all again except i have my mothers words ringing in my ears...."The first is an angel the second could be the anti christ!!"

I found it quite easy, but I have always had easy kids to parent.

Both slept through at 8 weeks, both eat well, both have pleasant temperaments, both are "clever", top set kids, hardworking and easily entertained - and both are kind (a very important trait!).

Both are teenagers and heading for independence - luckily without too many grumbles.

Generally I've found it easier the older they've got. Eldest is twelve, so i imagine that will reverse when she reaches the teenage years. I found the toddler years quite hard work. I found one much easier as a baby than the other, but the one who was hard work as a baby is a lot easier re homework than the easier baby!

The great thing about teenagers is they bloody love sleep!

I'm recovering from bronchitis and my 15yr old son has made dinner, brought me a cup of tea, filled the dishwasher and put a wash on. All with a smile on his face.

Said 15yr old didn't sleep through the night till he was 4yrs and woke up at 5:00am until he was 7yrs. I reckon he owes me.

I found the baby stage easy, despite the lack of sleep. I found the early toddler stage very difficult. DD was a lovely 2 but a hideous 3. After that, it was just..tedious and unrelenting.

I think the trick is to have very low expectations.

I saw it as a chore, like any other chore. Has to be done.

The initial stages, baby, toddler, young child are the most stressful, although when they hit the young child stage, you do feel like the pressure eases somewhat.

I think the first 3 years are definitely the hardest, possibly longer depending when you potty train.Theres others who say when they go to school, that's a definite benchmark, where it seems to get easier as they get more independent.

Each age level has its fun and games, a pre pubescent teenager and a teenager make for a lot of fun, with attitudes and atmospheres, the children wanting to be pretty much left off the rope. Our eldest has either an amazing memory or has kept notes, if we let the youngest do something earlier than we let him, the cheeky sod asks for compensation!

It depends also if you love the baby days, I know some people adore the baby days, they seem to lose interest as the child gets over. For example baby days, toddler days, you'd have none stop photos and videos, from being on the breast, to baby wearing, to baby led weaning. You notice it more in families who have more children, you rarely see the older ones.

There's those who love the later stages, lots of clubs, lots of doing different activities. Lots of achievements. Although there's achievements in the baby stages, there's so many different achievements in the older child stages .

Not when they were younger. Since they were 5? A doddle. Ask me again when they hit puberty though...

Me, found parenting ds1 a doddle, loved baby years, toddler stage, school age. Ds2 came along with ds was 10, still loved it. Then fucking puberty hit and ds2 became a raging hormonal teen. And I felt like all my parenting went down the pan. And I hate it, not a day goes by that he isnt sulking/huffing/slamming doors/being a little shit in general. He's been like that for the last years. He didnt obviously start out like that, but he's gotten progressively worse throughout the years. There are some good days though. He will be 17 on his birthday and the advice ive been given is that once he hits maybe 18-22 I should slowly have my lovely boy back. And then i look at sweet ds2 and wonder if he is gonna be the same. Im just waiting for when the good days outnumber the bad days. But still wouldnt change them for the world.

depends on the child and if you work ime. a sahm is dealing with 40 hours a week more toddler shite than a ft working mum.

Yes, most of the time.

I assume when I have three teenage boys at home I will feel differently

Oh good point vichill I work full time

Easy is the wrong word , of course it can be hard it's one hell of a commitment . But I enjoy it and it's just life for me now , I wouldn't have it any other way so in that sense I don't find it hard and I enjoy it . It probably helps I didn't have any plans or ideals when preg just went with the flow . Been a single parent for the most part too but I think ds is a good kid which must definitely help!!

So much depends on the child and also people's individual circumstances.

I found the early years very hard because I suddenly became a lone parent (literally left holding the baby!). It was often tiring and very lonely. Then it became easier for a while and later hard again!

I have found it hard. I would never be without DC2, I love him to pieces, But sibling squabbles are horrendous.

Also I am not a patient person and not at all chilled out, and DH is a real introvert, so we're probably not the best combo! Add to that DC2s suspected ADHD and DC1s preteen traumas, and its not always plain sailing.

So no, not easy, but we all love each other very much and I wouldn't be without them.