AIBU to want people to STOP FEEDING MY SON SWEETS!!!

[Cakehater]

You don't feed many kids peanuts.
You don't feed many kids gluten.
You don't feed other people's dogs cakes in the park.
Soo... WTF do people walk about trying to give my kid sweets constantly - other kids, parents, strangers even teachers!

Many kids have blood sugar, obesity, tooth enamel and issues with food colouring. Peanuts at least have nutritional value but WTF is the point of forcing sweets on children???

Apologies for ranting but am a bit fed up with it!!

Do your kids not ask if it's ok before they eat something they've been given?

People might not give many kids whole peanuts but they do give them foods which may contain them.
Most people give kids gluten.
One of my kids has a nut/peanut free diet, one of my kids has a tooth enamel deficiency. People give them food, they ask me if they can eat it or not. It's not a massive issue.

I was at the dentists last week with six year old. He needed a filling. I was mortified. Asked what had caused it, dentist said diet. More mortified. She said just stop buying him sweets, but I don't. He gets sweets from party bags. He gets sweets at school whenever it is someone's birthday. He gets sweets at Beavers sometimes. He gets sweets at Halloween, at Easter, at his birthday. His grandparents give him sweets. He gets sweets at school fetes. He gets sweets when people come round for tea. None of these I buy him except eggs for egg hunt at Easter. So I know where you are coming from OP.

So (& i'm aware this may be the thing that gets me flamed) just don't let the kids eat the sweets?

Sweets handed out at birthdays at school are never eaten in school (not allowed). Same with party bags (wait till we get home), sweets from Cubs/other activities.

TBH party bags are the only one where I might agree with you. But that's a v short phase - not many party bags get given out now mine are in juniors.

They eat the school sweets coming out of school. I don't do pick up. They eat the activity sweets at the activity.

What do you do with the sweets Despair, throw them away? (Genuine question, not trying to be sarky, although it sounds that way I know!)

Party bag sweets here always got thrown in the bin - kids never even noticed.

Ditto the cake - it would languish in the fridge for a day or 2 and then end up in the bin or on the bird table.

He doesn't have to eat them all though Maroon. Mind get loads of sweets, chocolate and cake too. Most party bag cake gets binned or DH eats it as I have no way of knowing if it's nut free, lollies, any sort of sweet sticky liquid or sherbet and anything without proper labelling also goes in the bin or if it's anywhere near Halloween saved for trick or treaters.
Other party bag sweets get shared out between all the family or put in the treat box.
My kids know to ask first if they can eat things. Sometimes the answer is no, sometimes they are disappointed or have a sulk but they get over it. They have plenty of sweet stuff and are not deprived of treats, I serve controversial Coke or Lemonade at their birthday parties!

If you don't want your child to be given sweets then ask the school/activity or whoever. If they are sent home with them tell your child you don't want them to have them and put them in a carrier bag for trick or treaters on Halloween. If the activity/school don't have a ban on sweets and you do then I'm afraid you have to be the bad guy and tell your kids you don't allow them rather than expecting others to do the job for you.

MaroonPencil - I don't buy sweets either. My children have no fillings.

Tell the school you don't want them having the sweets. Hell, tell your child - they're old enough at six - that they're not allowed to eat sweets.

I throw sweets away all the time but I we do eat sweets and no fillings. Everything in moderation

Sorry - had to pop out. It seems to happen every other day really which is why I am a bit tired of it.

Basically teachers try to reward things like spelling tests with sweets.
Parents bring bags of sweets and try to pass them out after school, at swimming first thing Saturday morning, at football first thing Sunday morning. In orchestra mid morning Saturday kids are encouraged to by sweets in a tuck shop and bully kids who don't eat sweets.

In the playground people often feel a strong determination to 'share' all their dodgy snacks they give their kids. I feel bad for these kids as often they are obese which is sad for them

My son has very bad tooth enamel and also reacts quite hyperactively with some red and yellow food colouring. Anyway he says no constantly but it would be nice if it was being pushed so regularly within the community.

I let him eat what he wants at birthday parties and Halloween/Easter and brush his teeth after. He gets down more about the peer pressure and bullying than the loss of regularly eating food that only tastes of sugar like jellies and boiled sweets.

I enjoy coffee and alcohol which aren't very healthy but I don't really tell other people what to eat or encourage other people's kids to eat food that is a bit iffy as I don't know their circumstance.

DH's dentist says he should not eat much fruit, fruit juice or crisps either but people seem to have less of a determination to give them to DH!

Re: gluten - kids at our school have no gluten badges now but I don't know if they are coeliac or not?

Sorry - that was DS's dentist - although DH has weakish teeth also!

I think some people just have better tooth enamel but there seems to be maybe less awareness of it. I know people who have dentures before forty and other people who have all their teeth in their 80's.

Ah - MaroonPencil - yes this is it! It is bizarre how much of it is about - in some places anyway?

Also I get met with a bit of moral outrage at times when I say 'no thank you'

Are loads more people coeliac now or do people not really know what gluten is?

Ds1's dad and family are awful for this he comes home loaded with sugar and junk. I throw it away when he's gone to bed. He never asks for it

RE: gluten - I don't know seems to be a visible percentage of the 6 and unders for some reason.

I know two adults and one child who are coeliacs but don't know the story behind the various others.

Loads of kids seem to be dyslexic now also - but admittedly not a food rant issue. Maybe more people are getting tested for these things?

I mistrust people who mistrust people who hate cake. En garde! ( Truth be told I am actually only indifferent to cake. It tastes too bland to excite a passionate hatred. May change moniker to 'Decidedlyindifferent to cake'. Looks decorative at birthdays and weddings but seems pointless beyond this occasion).

Some support for my argument from those fellow cranks down at the NHS, Royal College of Surgeons and the Telegraph :

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/dentalhealth/Pages/Goodhabitskids.aspx

'Most children want sweets, but you can help to prevent problems by making sure they don't have a large amount or very often, and particularly not before bed, when saliva flow lessens.

Try not to give sweets or sweet drinks as rewards.' says NHS. I find the 'reward' element particularly annoying.

'The figures from the Health and Social Care Information Centre (HSCIC) are alarming: 25,812 children aged five to nine were admitted to hospital for dental problems in 2013/14 – 14 per cent up on 2010/11. ' says Telegraph journo - not sure what current stat is?

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/children/10966226/Rotten-teeth-are-all-the-fault-of-Mum-and-Dad.html

"Despite being 90% preventable, 1/3 of children in England suffer from tooth decayi
It is the most common reason why 5-9 year olds are admitted to hospital
NHS spends £30 million on hospital based tooth extractions for children under 18 years old
30% of children in England did not visit a dentist between 2012 and 2014 – double that of Scotland
In some cases children are admitted for multiple tooth extractions under general anaesthetic.''' says RCS.

www.rcseng.ac.uk/news-and-events/media-centre/press-releases/children-hospitalised-unnecessarily-from-tooth-decay/

My son has like these Mumsnetters and some other people I know so although not common it is not rare either AFAIK.

www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/children-parenting-190/child-health-safety-first-aid-62/1475370-my-sons-teeth-crumbling-but-theres-nothing-we-couldve-done-can-do-now-all.html

Further to useful " at birthdays and weddings but seems pointless beyond this occasion." I think I feel the same way about Katy Perry songs.

Most children want sweets, but you can help to prevent problems by making sure they don't have a large amount or very often

Yes, "but YOU can help". As in, you the parent. It's up to you to tell your DS what he can/can't eat.

I've never seen parents giving out sweets at clubs, but if this happens just say no thanks, or let your DS save it for later.

If children are actually getting bullied for not eating sweets, then the bullying needs dealing with.

Sweets for a spelling test will be how often? Once a week? It is okay to eat sweets in moderation.

Fruit juice is probably worse for tooth decay than sweets are. Massive portion sizes have a big impact on obesity. I repeat again: It is okay to eat sweets in moderation.

My four year old niece and her little brother (two) come to mine on a Sunday and I always send them home with some "novelty" sweet treats from the likes of Thornton's or M&S because they are kids, they like to get given "gifts" and I like to buy them stuff.

Sometimes their weekly treat from me is money for their money tins or a small toy that I know they will like but mostly it's something edible; My brother hasn't raised any issue with me about it and I'm sure if his wife had a problem she'd let me know.

They are a healthy weight, active and eat well at home - I therefore don't see any problem with them having a few treats and clearly their parents don't either. I'm their auntie, I see it as my role to "spoil" them!

You haven't disclosed much detail with respect of the actual context of your "complaint" but currently you sound like you are massively over reacting, although I'll stand corrected if you come back and tell us that the neighbours are force feeding your kids smarties every day!

Yes to whfeofbathe The nhs guidelines do say YOU can prevent it not the whole of society lookkng after YOUR kids teeth and weight.
Time to start saying no
If you have an issue with clubs and school maybe suggest a look at their rewards systems? Kids generally like stickers and small party bag type sweets. At ds school they have to get 10 stickers to get a reward which they get very excited about - they tend to be a small rubber etc probably much much cheaper than 10 bags of haribo

People can be allergic to gluten even if not coeliac, we've a family member with anaphylaxis if comes into contact with gluten containing foods but def not coeliac

Just teach him to say "no".

My kids always ask before accepting a sweet.

In school birthdays they will accept one to be polite but pop in it in their schoolbags and ask permission to eat it on the way home.

Party bags they ask permission before eating the contents. .

They don't get given sweets as rewards in our school.

I've never seen parents hand out sweets at an activity.

My PILs regularly bring massive bags of sweets for each child. They say thank you politely and put them in the cupboard. Most bags make their way to the Foodbank along with excessive Easter Eggs

Um just stating the obvious here ... teach him to say no thankyou.