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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Where I work, parents earn more than childless people... and it annoys me

531 replies

MustBookADentistAppointment · 20/03/2017 19:36

So, where I work, parents receive an allowance because they have children. I don't have any children, but I would really like them. The argument is that people with children need the money because it's expensive having kids. Which I don't disagree with for a minute, but it pisses me off, nonetheless.

I'm single. Which means I have to pay all my rent/mortgage etc on my own, which is expensive. More expensive than if I lived with a partner. But I don't qualify for extra salary. Clearly, it's my choice to live alone, and I'm not blaming being single on my colleagues but hopefully you see what I mean. I'd also like a dog, but wouldn't get extra money to pay for dog daycare/walkers etc (I am NOT comparing having children to having a dog, just explaining that my lifestyle choices don't qualify for extra payments, like they would if I had children).

I can totally see the merit in an allowance for children, but am I being unreasonable to be pissed off about it? I'm slightly jealous of them, and am also paying through the nose for private therapy to try and manage/get over being alone and feeling sad about it - I just feel that their lifestyle is being subsidised, whereas mine isn't, even though it's kinda expensive too.

OP posts:
Original poster
MustBookADentistAppointment · 20/03/2017 19:42

@Parker231, I agree. But I wasn't sure if I was just being a bitter old hag about the whole thing. I will raise it, I think. I mean, we're paid very well as it is, but I just don't think it's fair.

OP posts:
Middleoftheroad · 20/03/2017 19:42

I'm also wondering if you mean childcare vouchers.
If not, I think it would be good to hear from a lega/HRl bod on here as it does sound discriminatory.

Quartz2208 · 20/03/2017 19:42

we have it where I work, you get a childcare allowance until your (youngest) child reaches school age. Its a grand total of £50 a month (so £600 a year). So really does not very much other than pay a day's worth of childcare a month.

Fruitboxjury · 20/03/2017 19:42

OP as a parent I'm staggered by this and I completely agree with you. A job is a job and you should be paid according to your role performance not your life choices, unless there are circumstances in your job that prohibit parents from doing it... potentially resulting in a staff shortage for example ... what is it that you do?

To make things worse, parents already receive additional tax payer funded support including child benefit, free nursery hours (increasing to 30 per week for 3-5 year olds), childcare vouchers etc amongst various other schemes. I can't understand why they should also receive more from an employer. You're absolutely right to be annoyed about it, unless there's a reason specific to your line of work it's utterly wrong

Moanyoldcow · 20/03/2017 19:42

Is it some kind of specific benefit with s caveat? For example, I know some employed will pay school fees. Just salary seems odd and in the U.K. I can't believe it would be allowed.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 20/03/2017 19:43

That is ridiculous. You can't pay people more just because they have DC!

Surely that isn't legal.

pointstaken · 20/03/2017 19:43

YANBU

I know at least a couple of countries where that applies. It is ridiculously unfair. Also unfair is people getting out of shifts because of their children, or having first choice of holidays (or working on bank holidays or not) because of their children - that one was in the UK. You should be paid based on your role, not based on your family situation! I have no suggestions, but I do sympathise with you (and I have kids).

Paying (the equivalent of) council tax based on your income and not your home is another one! You are penalised for having a good job. It's bonkers.

Moanyoldcow · 20/03/2017 19:43

Sorry for typos! Bloody phone Blush

DorothyBastard · 20/03/2017 19:44

I'm racking my brains to think where you could possibly work with a policy like that

oleoleoleole · 20/03/2017 19:45

I'd say this is a form of discrimination.

sonyaya · 20/03/2017 19:45

Fucking outrageous.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 20/03/2017 19:45

Make up some children.. You don't have to prove it when you start.

AnneTwacky · 20/03/2017 19:46

Also wondering if it might be a childcare voucher scheme. If it's like the scheme we had when dd was tiny, it's not extra but choosing to be paid some of your salary in childcare vouchers.

I can't see how an employer could justify a parental allowance nor how it could be effectively implemented.

Original poster
MustBookADentistAppointment · 20/03/2017 19:46

I'm not in the armed forces or anything, I know they sometimes pay school fees because parents could be deployed anywhere etc. That is not the case here, parents could (and lots do) work where I do.

I'm going to triple check that my colleagues aren't talking about a state allowance, as so many people have suggested it could be, but I'm pretty confident it's not.

They also get extra leave for each child they have, a number of weeks they can take over the course of the childs life, I think. (This wasn't an intentional drip feed, I just forgot about that, I don't think there are any other benefits parents get that non-parents don't).

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 20/03/2017 19:48

Is it a bonus for coming back from maternity leave?

I got that but I only got statutory maternity pay. It's to encourage women to come back to work as there's a risk they might not, which creates expense for the company having to replace them and wasting years of training expense.

Wishforsnow · 20/03/2017 19:49

Sounds like discrimination. It also sounds like they are trying to do the right thing but missed the mark. Surely maternity leave and child benefit for those who get it is more than enough. I would be really annoyed in your situation and asking for assistance in all manner of other things such as a dog walker while I was at work.

Lules · 20/03/2017 19:49

I've seen this for some UN/similar organisation type jobs, but I guess that's because you have to relocate abroad and it's to help with the costs and difficulty of doing that with children.

Quartz2208 · 20/03/2017 19:51

Mine is only if you return to work from maternity leave (so only if you worked there before) and replaced a return to work bonus. So if you started and were a parent you would not get it. It in effect I guess rewards loyalty.

FeckinCrutches · 20/03/2017 19:51

Surely that can't be legal?? How much more are they getting?

Original poster
MustBookADentistAppointment · 20/03/2017 19:51

Thanks all. I thought I'd ask here on the basis that you were the people most likely to disagree with me - but look how wrong I was!

Also, I'm one of the weird people that likes lurking on AIBU and sporner corner despite not having any kids.

OP posts:
StarlingMurderation · 20/03/2017 19:51

My company does this for the first year after you return from maternity leave, to help with childcare costs. It's an extra 25% of salary. In effect, it's instead of decent maternity allowance, as we just get stat mat. It's an inducement to come back, really.

PurpleDaisies · 20/03/2017 19:51

There are lots of people here who don't have children. It's not weird.

Original poster
MustBookADentistAppointment · 20/03/2017 19:51

I'm not sure how much more it is, I don't think it's a lot but that's not the point, in my opinion.

OP posts:
Original poster
MustBookADentistAppointment · 20/03/2017 19:52

Ha ha, thanks @PurpleDaisies!

OP posts:
Buttercupsandaisies · 20/03/2017 19:52

The extra leave - they'll be taking about parental and dependent leave, this is a government thing that all parents get and it isn't always paid

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