Where I work, parents earn more than childless people... and it annoys me

[MustBookADentistAppointment]

So, where I work, parents receive an allowance because they have children. I don't have any children, but I would really like them. The argument is that people with children need the money because it's expensive having kids. Which I don't disagree with for a minute, but it pisses me off, nonetheless.

I'm single. Which means I have to pay all my rent/mortgage etc on my own, which is expensive. More expensive than if I lived with a partner. But I don't qualify for extra salary. Clearly, it's my choice to live alone, and I'm not blaming being single on my colleagues but hopefully you see what I mean. I'd also like a dog, but wouldn't get extra money to pay for dog daycare/walkers etc (I am NOT comparing having children to having a dog, just explaining that my lifestyle choices don't qualify for extra payments, like they would if I had children).

I can totally see the merit in an allowance for children, but am I being unreasonable to be pissed off about it? I'm slightly jealous of them, and am also paying through the nose for private therapy to try and manage/get over being alone and feeling sad about it - I just feel that their lifestyle is being subsidised, whereas mine isn't, even though it's kinda expensive too.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Even if you do the same job as someone else it does not always folow that you get paid the same. They may have negotiated a better package when they started etc. Obviously they cannot discriminate on the basis of whether you are a woman or disabled but they can pay someone more if they negotiate for more.

The leave the OP is referring to is probably parental leave (as already suggested).

I am sure when the Op gets round to having children (if she choses to) then she will enjoy the perk too. If she campaigns to remove this perk then she will lose friends and potentially be cutting off her nose to spite her face if she eventually has kids like the female partner I worked with who voted against women working part time when returning after maternity leave

[ChocChocPorridge]

I have to say that the UK is one of the only places I've lived where parents don't get some form of universal tax break.

I've never heard of a company doing it - nothing beyond a Christmas party for kids or something. How weird, and yes, I'm surprised legal.

[Redactio]

There's a lot of talk about things being unfair here, but ultimately employers can pay what they want to who they like so long as it doesn't breach any laws. Giving extra money to parents doesn't.

[TonaldDrump]

They also pay an allowance if you have dependent parents or a dependent disabled adult child.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

I have to say that the UK is one of the only places I've lived where parents don't get some form of universal tax break.

There are WTC and CTC depending on earnings.

[brasty]

Parents already get help through the state.
If you care for someone though you get no help. And you don't get carers allowance unless your income is incredibly low. I have had to care for a relative in the past, and still work. It was expensive and demanding and I got no financial help at all.

[StealthPolarBear]

Tell me you're not in the UK? !

[brasty]

So only dependent parents or children count?

[Papafran]

I must say I would be supportive if they offered it as a subsidy for childcare, paid in the form of vouchers or direct to the nursery. However, not as an increased salary. That is unfair. A worker with a child could have no childcare costs due to relatives caring for the child. Why should that person get more money.
I think if employers really wanted to entice working parents, they should offer free childcare and onsite creches. That really would be good and fair.

[StealthPolarBear]

Ok missed other pages :) guess this will have been covered

[memyselfandaye]

Would you refuse the extra money if you had children OP?

[MustBookADentistAppointment]

The extra leave isn't parental allowance, it's an additional number of days off, which the parent can take on top of their annual leave, to care for their children.

Thanks everyone, I'm 99% sure they are paid more, and I can see that children are expensive. Really, I know they are. But, it seems like they're valuing one lifestyle above another, which pisses me off.

And @Sophieelmer, I can only assume you mean bitter, not biter. And I'm fairly confident that whether I do or don't go to HR about this, I won't come across as nearly as much of a dick by enquiring about their policies than you do by being so aggressive. Did you mean to be so rude?

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

It doesn't do much to offset the cost of children obviously but it's a nice gesture.

So are they going to offset the cost of fertility treatment and IVF etc also. After all that would be a nice gesture.

[Want2bSupermum]

YABU - My Dad, as an employer, paid parents more than non-parents because he expected them to be able to travel. The job meant it was very very hard for both parents to be working and my Dad's preference was that one parent stayed home/took a backseat in their career. He therefore adjusted salaries accordingly.

Before everyone gets all upset about this 'inequality', in this group of employees he had a 50/50 split of fathers and mothers. He later expanded it to all manager positions and the retention of working mothers increased. Also, as a non-parent I do not think you have any clue just how expensive childcare is. The true inequality is that as a single person you have far more disposable income compared to a working parent.

[Papafran]

They also pay an allowance if you have dependent parents or a dependent disabled adult child

OK, that makes me look at it in a slightly different light and they sound like a good employer. Caring responsibilities should be accommodated, regardless of who you are caring for. I would prefer it to be in the form of vouchers, but I don't have a big problem with it going direct to the employee.
However, there should also be consideration for the fact that single people have to shoulder their entire outgoings, so maybe there should be a single person subsidy too. But then where do you draw the line?

[TonaldDrump]

The health insurance covers some of the costs of fertility treatment. Why does this bother you all so much?

Yes, only dependent parents (you have to be supporting them) or dependent disabled adult children.

[PurpleDaisies]

Also, as a non-parent I do not think you have any clue just how expensive childcare is

That's right. None of us know any parents or read the news.

[ThePiglet59]

Sounds like made up bollocks to me.
Sorry

[SomethingBorrowed]

I can't see the issue, yes it might be annoying if you don't qualify, but you don't loose anything from your colleagues benefitting from it.
What about companies offering free coffee but you don't drink it whereas your colleagues drinks 5 cups a day?
What about companies offering access to a gym, should they give money instead to someone who can't use it for a physical reason?

[Sophieelmer]

Yes I did.

[flippinada]

This is very odd, I work for an employer with excellent family friendly policies (flexible working, childcare vouchers, generous parental and maternity leave) but I've never heard of anything like this.

Are you absolutely sure people are being paid extra just because they have children? If so it's discriminatory and shouldn't be happening.

[NetflixandBill]

YANBU. Parents get plenty of extra rights and priorities without being paid more too. Any person can have personal circumstances which mean that they have less disposable income. I repay a student loan and have a two hour daily commute to pay for. Should my employer compensate me over my non- graduate/ more local colleagues?

Of course not.

[Want2bSupermum]

Again, over the extra days off, you clearly do not know what is involved in having dependents. Extra days off is smart. My Dad ran his company with the approach of family first, work second. If someone needed to leave the expectation was to make up their work later when family had been taken care of. The extra time off for parents was recognition that sometimes you can't make up the time.

[ThreeLeggedHaggis]

That's right. None of us know any parents or read the news. hmm

And of course, only people with children work in the childcare industry.

What a stupid thing to say, Want2bSupermum.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

I can't see the issue, yes it might be annoying if you don't qualify, but you don't loose anything from your colleagues benefitting from it.

Why worry about men getting paid more than women. After all you don't lose anything by your colleagues benefitting from it.