AIBU to think mum should stop co-sleeping with her 12 year old DD?

[windygallows]

A friend has always co-slept with her DD who is now 12 years old. They are very close but it seems to be causing problems as her DD won't go on sleepovers at others and won't go away on overnight trips for school or otherwise - she just misses her mum too much and needs to be with her mum in order to fall to sleep.

It really does seem like stopping co-sleeping makes sense and would encourage a greater degree of independence in her DD. At the end of the day it's her business and I would never advise her one way or the other, am just canvassing to know if I'm BU for wondering this. Does anyone else co-sleep with their pre-teen?

I should say I'm a big supporter of co-sleeping and did the same with my 3 DCs but only to the age of 3-4.

My mum and i often still sleep in the same bed if i'm visiting and my parents will co sleep with my children when they stay over once a week. (Mum with ds2 and dad with ds1). A few years ago i took dad away for a big birthday treat and we slept in a double.

My 11 year old gets into my bed instead of her own most nights. I had no idea it was 'taboo' Think she just does it as she likes the space in the big bed, and she sees it as being comfier.And she is a bit Nervous of the dark sometimes-but not so much that she CAN'T sleep in her own bed or go on sleepovers...
I don't see it as a big deal.

DD would often sneak into out bed until she was about 12. Always on my side which meant I would get stuck in the middle. If I got too hot I would be the one going into her bed until my husband mentioned that with DD and I being the same size he was worried that he would grab hold of her instead of me one night. We then stopped her from coming in apart for cuddles at weekends. She never had any issues with sleepovers, school trips etc.

I often think that it's more about the neediness of the parent rather than the child.

What I need is my bed to myself what I have instead is a fidget of a 5yo in it. She has her own room but chooses to sleep in mine. She does fall asleep on her own. I just don't feel like upsetting her by insisting she sleeps in her own bed.

My DD is 12 and she sleeps in with me and has done for 2 years now since the onslaught of pressure for yr6 SATS. She was so stressed out by it all, she was walking round crying in the night unable to sleep, and also preventing us from sleeping too as she kept coming in crying unable to sleep. We did it as a temporary thing at the time but one thing has led to another and she is still there. Am happy that she will move back when she is ready, which I am hoping is before she is 35! It is her choice and she does go on sleepovers and school trips though.

I assume the majority of parents who have older children co-sleeping don't have partners, or a very big bed.

Whenever my DF went away on business trips it was the dog who was allowed to co-sleep with DM

Must admit it's not something I could imagine doing with DS(12) but then we never co-slept as a baby.

If you do co-sleep with older children do they have the same bedtime as you, or are they happy to start off sleeping on their own, just not all night?