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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tomorrow is the day

7 replies

Sleeplessinguiltyness · 19/03/2017 23:31

NC for this but basically we are midway through a massive restructure at work and tomorrow is the day most people find out if they were successful

Everyone had to reapply for their jobs

I found out Friday I got a job

I found out over the weekend that some colleagues haven't got a job

The rest comes out tomorrow

I work hard and do my best but lack confidence at times, I just 'get my head down and get on with it at work' and colleagues who haven't got jobs are so much more experienced than me

I now
1- feel guilty I have a job and others don't
2- am dreading the 'fallout' this week as more announcements are made about who is/isnt successful, it will be a horrible atmosphere
3- am likely to find out/figure out tomorrow if a colleague applied for a different job vs whos jobs I got, and if they haven't got something else I will feel terrible

OP posts:
ScarlettFreestone · 19/03/2017 23:41

I've been through this, it was awful.

You can't feel guilty about others, you can only do your best.

Experience (in terms of time served) isn't always the best indicator of competence. Some people learn little in 20 years and just coast along.

You can feel sorry for colleagues who have lost out but don't feel guilt.

HeddaGarbled · 19/03/2017 23:45

These things are really shitty to go through.

But, you are safe. Tomorrow some people are going to find out that they have lost their jobs. They will be angry, upset and scared.

Feel guilty if you want to but keep it to yourself. It's much worse for them.

Sleeplessinguiltyness · 19/03/2017 23:52

Thank you for the replies, maybe guilty isn't the right word for what I'm feeling

I am genuinely concerned for my colleagues, and truly shocked and devastated by one who's being made redundant, I guess I am worried I'll be resented for having a job by those who don't, and I know that's probably how people will feel but I don't want people to feel like I'm putting on an act being concerned as it's "alright for you" as I have a job because I really am worried for them

I really like all the people I work with and am worried about people who I consider friends rather than just colleagues, being made redundant

I guess I don't have the confidence in my ability so feel a bit like I've 'got lucky' in all of this

OP posts:
Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 20/03/2017 00:00

We've gone through similar at my place of work. A points system was implemented. Things like a day off sick in the past year was one to knock you down, and other inconsequential criteria. The fall out is that efficient workers are losing their jobs in place of not so good alternatives. I don't like to see anyone losing their livelihood but it's counterintuitive. Obviously they must have some sort of selection process but they've chosen the insane one.

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 20/03/2017 00:07

Don't feel bad about yourself, maybe about the system, and the realisation that we are all very expendable, however long we have been loyal and worked hard. In the end it is generally unappreciated. You've still got a job. The ones who haven't maybe will find something more suitable if they are lucky. Change is inevitable, just not wanted when you rely on a job.

HeddaGarbled · 20/03/2017 00:15

You will be resented and there is nothing you can do or say that will alter that. Don't make a big production of how shocked and devastated you are. One low key comment of regret and then just listen.

Don't give advice unless you are asked, don't relate anecdotes about people you know who were made redundant but it all worked out spiffy in the end and don't come out with trite homilies. Don't say anything about feeling guilty and they deserve to keep their jobs more than you.

I have lost count of the times I've been through this process. It is truly nasty and I understand your feelings, but, as I said before, you are safe, so, now, this is not about you.

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/03/2017 00:15

Redundancy rounds are shit, I've been through a few myself Sad. Your reaction of feeling guilt is a known thing, OP. Have a google on 'redundancy survivor guilt', you'll find it reassuring I think.

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