to put something to the effect of "we are not receiving visitors this summer" on fucking Facebook so I don't have to field eleventy hundred requests to come and visit from friends?

[liftwantedaroundtheworld]

Help me grow a (polite) backbone!

Basically we moved somewhere very scenic and with plenty of space for visitors a few years ago. Our friends from far and wide love coming here. We like to see them so that's all good BUT... last summer nearly fucking finished me off. Endless visitors for a few days at a time with hardly a chance to draw breath between them, all of whom wanted to "just chill out" and "let's go for a walk round the woods, you're so lucky having this on your doorstep" and "really enjoy not hearing traffic 24/7" and sleep in til 11 every day so days out became stupidly long and late etc etc. They've frequently driven a long way to see us so don't want to do any long car journeys for day trips either.

We are bored of the fucking woods. We walk round them twice a fucking week. The blissful silence that other people relish so much about our home is bloody boring when it's your life day in day out! We want to go for long days out to places with traffic and museums and proper shops!

We can't afford a proper holiday so we are technically "here" and we do genuinely like our friends company but it just got so crushingly BORING last year. They always bring food and chip in with cooking etc so it's not like they are taking advantage as such, but none of them can seem to recognise that their welcome break is just more of the fucking same for us!

I've already fielded 3 friends wanting to know when is good to come and visit over the summer and have so far been non-committal. But what I want to do is post on Facebook that we are planning a summer to ourselves this year and then hopefully not have to deal with endless friends wanting to come for their budget holiday here!

Is this terrible etiquette? How should I even phrase it? Help!

Could you set-up one of those interactive calendars that B&Bs etc have? Block off all but a few select dates that you wouldn't mind having visitors (don't specify reason, for all they know you have other visitors then).

Send any potential visitors to your calendar and let them 'book' anything that suits them. Once your two weekends (or whatever you leave up for grabs) are gone, they're gone. Sorted

Yes to the email. Have one ready then send if and when you get a request. Along the lines of "so sorry but we're very busy with work/various things this summer". And send it out agin next year too.

Job done.

Post daily updates on FB about the giant spider infestation and your half eaten face.

We can help you photoshop.

Do Airbnb. That way at least you'll get paid. And then book yourself a holiday with the money!

Are you me?!? We moved to somewhere lovely which is a popular holiday destination and the Doncaster based relatives loved their free holiday the first summer. Hasn't happened again funnily enough...

Put together an email and send it to the people who have asked already this year and those that came last year but you're not keen on having them to visit this year along these lines:

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that we are unable to host any visits you may have been planning to us for this year.
While this might not suit you, we wanted to let you know in good time so that you can make alternative holiday arrangements elsewhere and not be disappointed.

Hope you are all keeping well and we'll be in touch again soon.

LiftWanted

Those that you don't mind seeing and hosting wont get that email and you can make whatever arrangements you want with them - house swapping, hosting etc. etc.

I think something along the lines of what bloodybridget said.
Reply to individual requests telling the truth. Explain you're after a quiet summer after overdoing it with house guests last year but would love to meet up if they're planning on visiting the area.

Can you allocate a 1/2 weeks you'd be happy to have visitors and then once that's booked up say no to the rest, first come first served?

I'm sure you can say you're busy/have commitments etc. the other weeks.

We have this. We have the misfortune to live within driving distance of a major tourist city, so we're always the target of people wanting to stay with us.

There's only so many times you can go on the Ferry Across the Mersey before going insane. And if I have to go to the Beatles museum again I'll probably scream.

What bloodybridget said. It's the truth. For pushy people you need to be firm.

I think if anyone suggests they visit you just tell them you're all booked up with excursions so it's not convenient this year.
For anyone you trust enough it could be -- DH and I really want a few days away without the kids, can you house sit and mind the DC for us? Then allocate 2 or 3 days to spend with friends before/after your few days away.
Good luck

Simple, just explain if people come to see you, you want to go out and do things. I'd maybe say on Facebook this is what we are planning.
X
Y
Z

Then see who wants to join you.

Calendar idea with available dates is genius!

You could use weekdays to do bigger stuff and have weekend visitors only. I suggest it that way as attractions are often quieter during the week!

I'd say NO VISITORS this Summer... the end x

I love having visitors, but also get fed up going to the same local places. If you actually want them to visit be honest and say that you are having day trips to cities, museums. If they want to come they can, but if they want to go local walks, that is fine.
Talking to people if they are genuine friends, really does work.

My friend has it worse. There is a famous grave near her. She said she was ready to scream at visiting this grave for the 100th time, which just looks like a normal grave. So she was honest and started just directing visitors to the grave, and staying at home.

What sort of lunatics are saying a bloody group calendar is a good idea? How about shove off and let the OP have her house to herself for summer?

What a weird thing to suggest. She isn't a bloody b&b.

No she isnt. But some people actually like to have friends and family visiting.

Since moving to a city centre I've had the same. One night so someone can easily catch a train/get to the airport etc is fair enough but I don't want to sleep on the floor if you don't want to shell out for a taxi/pay for a hotel the only exception is some lovely relatives in Ireland who will insist on picking me up from the airport at 4 hours notice and drive me back to Dublin/Belfast so I can see everyone, stay with everyone and save myself the princely sum of 13 euro for the bus

My aunty solved this problem by building a house without a spare room and offering cheeky bastards their pick of the tent or caravan

Exactly wandoo, the op doesn't want any visitors, not a calander to organise them in.

Well if she does not want visitors, she just needs to say no.

Calendar idea is NOT genius! People would regard it as a summons to come, and the ones who couldn't make it on the approved dates would come whining for a special exception to be made in their case because it's not FAIR that their mate can come but they can't.

A calendar sounds bonkers to me, if you don't want visitors when they ask you just say no. It's your house, if your friends like it so much then they should move away

Another vote for bloodybridget's suggestion

We now live in a four bedroom house by the sea. We only have one bed. Any potential visitors are given information about local hotels.

Just say no OP. Any "real" friends will find their own accommodation if they want to see you.