To think "friend" is fucking cheeky as

[GirlnamedMax]

I stayed at a friends house last night and we nipped to the shops and we bought some food to share. She claims she lost her debit card but she still picked up a few bits for herself.

Unloading shopping and I start to separate it and she quickly says no you pay for it together and I'll pay you back. Fine I don't mind buying snacks but why should I fork out for your household items

We then bought takeaway .. which when I came to paying she stayed quiet and so I paid on my card ... we shared it with her housemate which I like but said no word of thanks.

We went out today (planned) and I had to again buy her 2 drinks and food as I ordered for myself and felt rude her sitting there not having anything.

This is on top of all the money I've lent her this month.

Total of money is around £180. I HATE asking for money back and some of the things are like £5, £15 etc so I feel petty asking for it back.

I have a colleague like this. Go out for a coffee/meal/day out and it's inevitable that she will rummage through her handbag and look all bewildered and get the other person to pay.

I can't be doing with all that so don't socialise with her except for work things that can properly be expensed.

Another friend and my freeloading colleague went to a craft fair recently and gullible friend ended up not only paying for FC's purchases but carrying them back to GF's car with FC striding ahead

You are choosing to pay - you don't have to. Who goes shopping and forgets their debit card? She is not a friend imo.

You need to ask her to transfer the money she owes to you. Don't pay for anything else for her!

Im not sure why you would continue to pay for things if you don't want to.

It was an awkward moment where if I said no then what would be my reason why?

eh? you cant be serious? you reason would be that's not my stuff... its not difficult.

For everyone saying "just don't pay", it's not always that simple is it? We all have or have had that freeloader in our lives, and at the time of transaction and in public, it's embarrassing for all involved and we- the mug- easily end up just paying. V annoying but who wants to look tight?

But please, OP, don't persist in this one-sided friendship. Don't have the piss taken out of you any longer, please!

For everyone saying "just don't pay", it's not always that simple is it?

It is for me 😂 I dont mind helping people out but I know I would get mad at myself if I let myself get used. Funnily enough I think people like asking me for favours because they know if I say yes that I am genuinely happy to help out. I do lend money but only when I chose to. I might feel embarrassed to say decline to lend money but I don't care if I do. Much better a moment of embarrassment than a lifetime of regret (I think that's a saying 🤔).
If I go out for a group meal I just cheerfully ask what the plan if for paying beforehand - I think other people welcome it. I don't understand why people get so uptight about talking about money. I think some people are way too concerned about not coming across as tight or mean.

I don't even make up fake excuses if I dont want to lend money I just say I don't want to and keep repeating it.

You need to ask her for the cash you've lent her this month as an absolute minimum. Phone her up and ask outright when she'll be able to pay you back.

She "lost" her debit card, so you were put on the spot at the check-out, I understand that. A difficult situation for anyone. But the take-away was up to you, you knew she had no access to cash, so you really should have tackled that at the outset. Like doing without.

I had one of these in my life a long, long time ago when I was young and naive. People like this are absolutely brazen, they've had practice at it; getting stuff off you free of charge is more important to them than any friendship. Once you've spotted a bare-faced piss-taker and user you need to absolutely vigilant. For honest and decent people it can be very, very difficult because you (and I) wouldn't dream of doing the same.. I bit the bullet and ended the "friendship". Once she's paid you back, I think you should consider doing the same.

'Hi friend, just wondered if you could transfer me the £180 you owe me for xyz today at all? Just with it being a week or so til pay day things are a bit tight, so I could really do with the money back. I can send you my bank details if you need them or meet for you to give me the cash if easier? Thanks so much!'

the only "pay back" items in the original post were the household goods,

( you pay for it together and I'll pay you back ) - the rest was offered by the OP.

Would be hard to say you owe me XYZ because the only thing SHE AGREED to actually pay for were the household items.

She knows this of course, since she seems to have excellent skills at freeloading.

You need to not pay for her stuff in future, or get her to pay for you... you can't exactly ask for money for stuff you when have no agreement - not even verbal - for her to repay.

Thought OP said she had also lent her money this month?

?!

Does she do this all the time?

Is she generally short of cash?

"It was an awkward moment where if I said no then what would be my reason why?"

As FeckinCrutches said "But you still ordered a takeaway? And went out the next day..."

I think you should phone her to say 'you owe me £90 (or more) from yesterday and today, so I'll give you my account details for you to pay in it directly'. Then ask her when she will be doing that.

If you can'y say that to her, text/email it.