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AIBU?

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Original poster

6 year old in my house for 6 hours no parents have looked for her?

105 replies

Crazymoo82 · 18/03/2017 18:26

My 6 year old brought one of her friend into play at 12 today. The girl is a neighbour however she lives at one end of a rather long street and we live at the other . My dd has to come tell me if she is going into her friends house, should say though that the friend I means is not the girl here atm. Dds friend is only 3 doors down and I can see the house from my garden. However this other girl has been here for 6 hours now, she hadn't had lunch when she came in so I gave them some, asked her if her mum knows where she is she said no she is at the shops! Also gave her dinner now as I wasn't going to give my dds and leave her out. Aibu to be pissed off at this girls parents for 1 going to shop and just leaving her playing In the street, 2 not bothering to look for their dd for so long?
My daughters go out to play they must stay in the garden or if going to play with others then I watch or walk up with them and they all play in one of our gardens together. If my dds had been away for 6 min alone I would be going crazy!

OP posts:
nanny3 · 19/03/2017 06:20

i had this dd friend came round in the morning so i fed her sent her home at dinner time .her parents had gone out so she came back her parents didnt come back until 10 oclock!

M2R2 · 19/03/2017 11:00

Happened to my friend.
The father dropped his dd asking if ok to play with her dcs. She accepted they lived upstairs.
She had to go urgently to hospital, so asked the girl to go home. (She should've taken her herself as she is only 5 but was panicking)
Anyway went to hospital. Came back 5 hours later to find out the little girl is with another neighbor as no one was homeConfused
Social services was involved

Toysintheattic29 · 19/03/2017 17:31

I would have taken the child back. If nobody home after six hours I would be inclined to contact the Police. Yes, it is rather drastic, but parents should take responsibility for their children and unless proper arrangements are in place for them to be cared for, 6 hours is way too long for a child to be adrift.

mummylove2monsters · 19/03/2017 17:37

My daughter had a friend like this - she'd rock up here and I'd txt her mum who would txt back she was up town !!! Who goes to town and leaves their kid to just knock about ? I'm mean wow ? If you knocked on the door and the parents were out you did the right thing letting her stay with you but her parents seriously need to sort it out xxxx well done op I know how you feel x

Floggingmolly · 19/03/2017 17:38

Haha - "I should have mentioned, now I think about it...".
Yes, dear, you really should have.

SherbrookeFosterer · 19/03/2017 17:49

Call the police.

I hope the parents get a real earful from the authorities and are referred to social services.

Mys20 · 19/03/2017 17:49

Some parents don't care we're there kids are as long as their not under there feet,but for gods sake woman the first thing I'd have done would check with the parents etc if they knew were the child was,not leave it six blinking hrs,feed her then moan about it on here,sorry for being so harsh but for gods sake you can't be to carefull these days kids can accuse you of anything,check no ones home then if not phone the police,end of

38cody · 19/03/2017 17:51

If you've had her in your house then you should have put a note in her door to let mum know where she is. Her mother and you are equally at fault! You kept a child for SIX HOURS without making every effort to let her mother know where she was! YA(BOTH)BU!!!

SherbrookeFosterer · 19/03/2017 17:52

...assuming everything the child said is truthful.

They tell porkies sometimes, but even then that can be a cry for help.

Cwandry · 19/03/2017 17:59

I think after 6 hours I would call the parents on the phone (the kid probably knows the number) or if not just pop down there to her house. Or get your own child to walk her home or something. I don't think it is that big a deal. Surprised at talk of social services!

If you live in a community where kids Re in and out of other people's houses a lot like we do then parents often go out of there kids are not home. This is pretty normal. It's takes a village and all that.
Round here all the parents have the same rule. Kids have to head back once it starts to get dark.

Floggingmolly · 19/03/2017 18:09

Would you go out if your 6 year old "wasn't home", Cwandry?

ssd · 19/03/2017 18:37

I can't understand the posters here that are more bothered about "drip feeding" rather than the fact a 6 yr old isnt being cared for properly

Daydream007 · 19/03/2017 18:39

I would have taken he back within an hour not six! They were probably worried sick not knowing where she is. YABVU

Natsku · 19/03/2017 18:42

Parents not knowing which house their kids are in was fairly common where I used to live as it was one of those neighbourhoods where all the kids play out together and wander in and out of each other's houses, so a few times I had a child in my house and a parent or big sibling would come knocking on my door asking if the child was there. I've had to do the same before as even though DD would generally tell me where she was going, she would sometimes then go from that house to another friend's house and didn't think to re-inform me of her whereabouts. If I had a child at mine for more than a couple of hours I'd be kicking them out anyway for some peace and quiet!

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 19/03/2017 18:47

You're not being unreasonable about them not looking however you are out of order for not sending her home.
You really shouldn't feed someone else's child without parental consent or her being a close friend - how do you if she has any allergies or intolerances?!?
Personally I'd send her home and contact social services to raise my concerns!

KnickersOnOnesHead · 19/03/2017 18:50

Biggest load of bollocks I've read all weekend.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 19/03/2017 18:53

CWANDRY whilst I agree with the sentiment it takes a village to raise a child it doesn't mean literally. It means to set a good example to children.
Not to be lackadaisical parent who has no idea where their child is! All it takes is one abduction and they're gone! Feel free to tell the parents of April Jones and see if they share your sentiment

Advicewouldbelovelyta · 19/03/2017 19:23

People that are saying "send her home", given that no one was in, why would you send a 6yo home to no one? Surely it's better to leave a note and if no response after another hour or so then call police or SS.

FlappinSwazy · 19/03/2017 19:27

Mention it to her school. They would maybe like to report it. It screams neglect to me and I am not sure why everyone is blaming you - particularly as you did go around. Did you leave a note?

What worries me most is that when you went around they were not in. Do you know how long they have been out for?

38cody · 19/03/2017 20:59

I can't even
Imagine letting a sux yr old play out unsupervised - I did as a child growing up in London - we were out all day but now that I'm raising my own children in the same ( very nice) part of London I wouldn't dream of letting them out of my sight for a moment.
It's nice to know that people still do this elsewhere.

Natsku · 19/03/2017 21:19

My 6 year old plays out unsupervised all the time 38cody I live in a nice quiet safe area. I expect once summer comes (moved here in the Autumn) there'll be plenty of other 6 year olds playing out unsupervised too. Its a very big thing for me in choosing where to live (definitely couldn't imagine it in London!)

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 19/03/2017 21:50

I can't believe people let children out at such a young age out like that and even if you know they are that seems too young to go off on their own, unless a proper arrangement with people you know well Hmm.

pollymere · 19/03/2017 22:12

You need to mention it your local safeguarding team. It is completely unacceptable to leave a child that age on the street or at home alone. Or you could talk to the Safeguarding lead at your dd school about it. Maybe ask the Mum for a mobile number so you can text her whenever this child turns up so she knows where they are so you're covering your own back. Imagine if the kid accused you of abduction, abuse or imprisonment...they were essentially missing for six hours in your property without their parents knowledge or consent.

sems · 19/03/2017 22:14

Natsku I honestly find that shocking. I live in a gorgeous little rural village with no crime to speak of but there are cars, even on my cud-de-sac. I am also aware that there are bad humans that come with all sorts of disguises. No chance, not a chance. They are only allowed on drive when I'm sat on step with a brew.

I wouldn't leave my handbag unsupervised on the drive, and in the grand scheme of things that means fuck all to me

Natsku · 19/03/2017 22:22

I live in a small town in Finland and almost everyone lets their children play out unsupervised sems the culture hasn't changed over the decades like it has in the UK. We have social services involved because of DD's dad (my ex) and they don't have an issue with it either (our social worker even told DD to go out and play so me and her could talk about DD's dad, DD was just 5 then)

I once had an incident when a drunk man grabbed DD (although it was terrifying at the time it turned out to be someone that had a barely functional IQ and didn't actually realise he was doing something wrong, he thought he was helping DD by trying to take her to her home but of course she wouldn't go and screamed instead). I reported it to the police and they were shocked and told me that such a thing hadn't happened in this town in their living memory.

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