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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you bf past a year?

216 replies

Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 18/03/2017 09:23

I am currently breastfeeding my almost 1 year old. I only feed him 2/3 times a day now but I think he would struggle to be weaned from these as he still very much demands them, particularly the night feed.

I have a group of friends with similar aged babies and all the ones who are breastfeeding are on a deadline to give up at a year. They are surprised, if not a little disgusted, that I don't feel the same urgency to wean by then. I would like another baby and know it will be difficult while I am still feeding but other than this I don't see the great urgency if he's not ready. It's true he is now a good eater so perhaps is only breastfeeding for comfort but there must be some benefits, are there? If you continued past a year can I ask why and if you think there are any benefits or should I try to wean him completely now? He is not a fan of cows milk.

OP posts:
UndersecretaryofWhimsy · 18/03/2017 18:30

I'm still feeding now at 2y4m. He loves it and tbh so do I. It's been incredibly useful for illness, comfort and convenience. I think it saved him from being hospitalised when he had a bad vomiting bug at 15mo.

I'm also 8w pregnant so no barrier to conceiving again as long as you are ovulating (caught first try).

ZZZZ1111 · 18/03/2017 18:45

Currently bf my one year old with no plans to stop anytime soon! Join the Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond Facebook group if you want to feel more 'normal'!

Sisinisawa · 18/03/2017 18:46

My eldest is seven and a half and isn't officially weaned yet. My youngest is two and a half and feeds pretty much all the time he can.
There's loads of nutrition and immunological reasons to continue feeding. It's biologically normal to do so.
If you're happy then just carry on and ignore the premature weaners.

oblada · 18/03/2017 19:42

Dontbeblue - it certainly helped me to still be feeding DD1 when DD2 came along. Could have been a coincidence but it was a doodle the second time around. Maybe because we didn't have to wait for the milk to come in or maybe because the nipples were 'used to it' or the little one had in a way a good role model.. Dunno :) it also helped DD1 accept her sister I think.

cuphat · 18/03/2017 19:53

I bf my first till 18 months and my second till 19 months (both self-weaned; I think my first would have carried on for a lot longer but she self-weaned while I was pregnant).

tigerrun · 18/03/2017 20:03

Tons of us clearly, totally normal OP! 19 months DS1 and 3 years 3 months with my second. Loads of benefits - google Dr Jack Newman if you want some science and reassurance. Take no notice of what anyone else thinks OP, especially if they are judging you (good advice generally I reckon!)

IamFriedSpam · 18/03/2017 20:07

I did it. When I was abroad it was totally normal - I saw people breastfeeding toddlers and at the park in the sandpit. No one cared. It's also absolutely great for calming a hysterical toddler. I wouldn't have been without it!

OftheUppahUplands · 18/03/2017 20:09

21 months here, then my mum nearly died and my let down & supply vanished pretty much overnight because of stress. We were planning on feeding to natural term though

Lalala82 · 18/03/2017 20:11

My dd self weaned at one but I'd have carried on, made it to 19 months with ds, he was prem and made sense to continue we both got lots from it. Do what makes you and baby happy I say!

JellyWitch · 18/03/2017 20:12

5 years; and still going at nearly 3.

Liara · 18/03/2017 20:12

I bf both of them until 2y 9m. Ds1 stopped when I hit the second trimester of my pg with ds2. One night he just said 'mummy milk is for the baby now' and snuggled up instead.

Ds2 took a bit more persuasion, but by then I had been pg or bf for 7 years and I was tired of it.

I can genuinely say I never did it for myself, Both my dc has very serious reflux and bm is a good antacid, as well as all the usual benefits. Don't for a second regret having done it, even though I did find it a bit wearying at various times (had a lot of problems with mastitis among others).

BrownAjah · 18/03/2017 20:13

I BF DS2 until he was 13mths. He was a great eater and drinker and I felt I'd had enough and it was all very easy.

DD was BF until she was just over 2. She never took a bottle or a dummy and is a crap eater so I just carried on because she still really wanted it. As she got closer to 2, I started worrying that she would never wean (and my family is hugely anti-BF so I got a lot of grief) but I started doing the don't ask/don't refuse approach and one day she just didn't ask! And that was that.

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 18/03/2017 20:18

I BF DS2 until he was 2.5. I was quite lucky to have a friend with a baby-then-toddler the same age who fed until age 3 so it felt fairly normal.

I planned to stop at 6 months. Then 9. Then 12. Then 24. It was just easier to carry on!

Waddlelikeapenguin · 18/03/2017 20:52

I think you need some new friends! Wink

2.4, 3 & ongoing at 2.1

Why on earth would you spend so much energy & cause such stress to stop something that's working for both of you & is good for you,!?!

They're called milk teeth for a reason Smile

Applebite · 18/03/2017 20:59

waddle - and yet that's exactly why I gave up (at 16 months)! When she started to bite, and actually drew blood from somewhere you never want to see blood, I decided enough was enough Grin

rainbowsockstoday · 18/03/2017 21:01

@applebite I only feed from the left side and have done since November 2015 when my 11mth old bit me so hard he drew blood and I had an open wound that meant I had to stop for a while till it healed. He never went back to it!

Applebite · 18/03/2017 21:03

Owwwww 🌈 - so painful isn't it!!

randomsabreuse · 18/03/2017 21:04

I stopped when DD became more interested in climbing me and exploring my eyes with her nails than feeding. Had planned to go on longer but accepted that she was not interested...

JustBeingJobless · 18/03/2017 21:06

Ds self weaned at 18 months, but by that point was just having a bedtime feed. Was a really bizarre weekend actually - we'd gone away, just me and him, to the seaside and he dropped his nighttime feed, slept through the night for the first time ever, got up in the morning and started walking!

Kohi36 · 18/03/2017 21:06

My son breastfed until he self weaned a few months after he turned 3. It's one of my proudest achievements. He was born 3 months premature and the breastfeeding kept him from ever been readmitted to hospital.

SpikeGilesSandwich · 18/03/2017 21:08

I think it's weird to consider feeding your child weird. Your friends are the ones with the issue. Do what is right for you and your baby.

Swirlingasong · 18/03/2017 21:29

I fed dc1 until about 4 and dc2 is still going so I did just under two years of feeding both of them. Had you asked me when dc1 was 10 months though, this would never have been what I 'planned', there was just never a good reason to stop and plenty of good reasons to continue (mainly sleep and illness.) You may even find that some of your friends who are vocal about stopping end up continuing.

I probably know plenty of people who would think I am strange, but the truth is very few know as there's no reason to discuss it. With a baby under one, I found mums talk about feeding constantly but once they are toddlers conversation moves on to physical skills and speech. What I have found, however, is that once you start talking about it, there are far more of us feeding older children out there than you would expect.

We probably should talk about it more as it's so sad to think of how many mums feel pressured to stop simply because they don't know that people do bf for longer.

Only bit of advice, if you do continue, would be to simply refer to it as milk, not boob or anything else. A two year old loudly and clearly screaming 'milk' in supermarket is hard enough to deal with, you may not also want to deal with the reactions around you as your toddler announces you are one of society's 'weirdos'.

DrAbbyYates · 18/03/2017 21:39

I want to be able to go out for the evening and not have to rush back to express, I want to be able to have the occasional lie-in and not have to get up to pump. By a year, I would like to be able to go away for the weekend.

None of this is relevant for feeding a toddler. I returned to work at 12 months and was able to continue feeding despite several trips abroad where I was away from DD for 2-3 nights. No engorgement or discomfort, no blocked ducts, no impact on supply. DD continued to feed until 3.5 yrs. Feeding a toddler is totally different to feeding an infant.

dimdommilpot · 18/03/2017 21:42

DD2 fed till 21 months. She was just feeding once a day. I stopped offering and about a month later she stopped asking. I would of carried on as long as she kept asking.

rainbowsockstoday · 18/03/2017 21:46

@swirlingasong my DC says mama GAK (no idea why because he asks for milk on his porridge) and that suits me! My sil looks at me as a weirdo though and I have a very anti-boobing family so I can't complain that he's talking in code! He defends me in public though which is nice of him 😂