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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you bf past a year?

216 replies

Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 18/03/2017 09:23

I am currently breastfeeding my almost 1 year old. I only feed him 2/3 times a day now but I think he would struggle to be weaned from these as he still very much demands them, particularly the night feed.

I have a group of friends with similar aged babies and all the ones who are breastfeeding are on a deadline to give up at a year. They are surprised, if not a little disgusted, that I don't feel the same urgency to wean by then. I would like another baby and know it will be difficult while I am still feeding but other than this I don't see the great urgency if he's not ready. It's true he is now a good eater so perhaps is only breastfeeding for comfort but there must be some benefits, are there? If you continued past a year can I ask why and if you think there are any benefits or should I try to wean him completely now? He is not a fan of cows milk.

OP posts:
witsender · 18/03/2017 10:10

Daughter fed until about 18 months, son until just gone 3 yrs. Both self weaned.

DJBaggySmalls · 18/03/2017 10:11

DS1 bf for over 18 months and it disgusted people.

SierraJensen · 18/03/2017 10:12

Still breastfeeding at 2.5, no plans to stop any time soon.

CosyCoupe88 · 18/03/2017 10:15

I fed til my little one was 2 y 9 months. Did not plan to haha. We tried for another fo just over a year and I did get pregnant while still feeding. Hd cut down to just mornings and evening feed. I carried on because it gave me a bit of peace, he wanted it still and it calmed him. Had a lot of grief from friends and family but sod them. They can do what they want with their own boobs. As soon as I got pregnant I got the "skin crawls" and reallt had to stop for my own sanity. By this point little one was fine without beingfed by me when I was away 2 or 3 nights and we finally weaned mostly through distraction. I got a lot of magazines, stixker books, playdough and kinder eggs to hide and whenever he asked I was oooh shall we do this instead and he would jump at the chance! I shortened feedings so I wasn't saying no but so he wasn't having as much. . Was always happy to get off to go do something fun.

I am so happy to have my body half back haha. I think I would try to wean by age 2 next time but it was definitely still helpful for me and him I think to continue til then if next one wants to and I still want to as got us through croup and norovirus etc when he wouldn't touch anything else.

Not read any other comments

everybodysang · 18/03/2017 10:15

18 months here. We were down to just a bedtime feed but we both loved it and would have kept going. However DD got a terrible cold and just couldn't breathe when feeding and - that was it. I was very sad, had planned to stop at around 2 and as she's definitely my only baby I really wanted to do that but, hey, that's what happened.

isupposeitsverynice · 18/03/2017 10:16

Breastfeeding a toddler is like a magic I-win button. Whatever the tantrum it will be ended by an offer of a milky cuddle. That alone justified continuing to three and a half for me!

QueenArseClangers · 18/03/2017 10:16

3.8 years
4.11 years
3.6 years
Currently feeding DD 3.2 years.

Eldest is now a 6ft 16 year old Grin

I also think of the protection against cancer it gives me too.

Batteriesallgone · 18/03/2017 10:17

If cows milk is so good for us it makes no sense for human milk to have 'no benefits'. We are mammals too, human milk is bound to be full of goodness. It makes no sense to claim otherwise.

oblada · 18/03/2017 10:18

I think the natural age to self-wean is anything between 2 and 7yrs old so plenty of scope there to do as you wish :)

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 18/03/2017 10:19

22 months (then she said it tasked disgusting. Was the colostrum as just given birth). And
28 months.

BlueBlueSkies · 18/03/2017 10:20

I would have loved to continue bf DD. At 10 months she stopped. I went to give her going to bed feed and she pushed me away and laughed. Felt quite upset, but it was her choice.

She had been having bottles/cups during the day as I had been back at work for 5 months.

Keep bf as long as you and baby want to.

Matchstickbox · 18/03/2017 10:20

Still feeding DD at 20m. It's easy to, she loves it and I'm lazy. 😁

mirrorisnotmyfriend · 18/03/2017 10:22

4 years here. Wasn't the plan at all but it just turned out that way. I stopped discussing it with family and friends as they clearly disapproved but a few years on he's a healthy happy boy and we have a completely normal relationship, despite the odd 'bitty' comment and nonsense about me not wanting to let him grow up!

ScrambledSmegs · 18/03/2017 10:27

2 years here. Some people were absolutely horrified that I was still feeding her at that age but they'd never have known if I hadn't told them. So I didn't tell anyone else Wink

MrsJamin · 18/03/2017 10:27

For me it was either

  1. Stop at around 1 year
  2. keep going until my son wanted to stop. I chose 1 both times and it was super easy to stop then. Any longer and they are a lot more aware of wanting it etc and I didn't want any to impose a stop on a toddler older than 15 months. It's totally up to you though, if you're comfortable bfing a toddler in public then go for it. I wasn't but that's just me.
AnyFarrahFowler · 18/03/2017 10:28

I breastfeed my (almost) 14 month old DS just once at bedtime - it's been this way since he was about 11 months and, since it still works for us, we'll continue until he feels he's finished. I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant so also aware that my milk might dry up at some point or it may become too painful to feed him myself, but this works for now. I never planned to breastfeed this long, it just worked out this way. I genuinely cannot understand the mindset of someone who would find this "disgusting" but perhaps that's for a different thread altogether!

Feed for as long as the two of you are comfortable, it matters not one jot what your friends are doing, they're doing what suits them and that's fine too.

ChangingStates · 18/03/2017 10:30

Both of mine up to about 18mpnths but from around a year it was only a bedtime feed.

missm0use · 18/03/2017 10:32

I'm still bf my DD was 14 months, she's not emotionally ready to wean completely and despite having 3 meals and snacks a day (some of which just ends up on the floor) still needs to bf to supplement her diet.

If you google breastfed toddler - you'll get lots of details on the benefits of extended bf.

And extended breastfeeding isn't a barrier to expanding your family ... I'm 9 weeks pregnant!

Camomila · 18/03/2017 10:32

DS is 11 months and I've no plans of stopping when I go back to work p/t next month. I won't be able to feed during the day on my work days but people seem surprised I'm not planning to try and cut him down to just a morning and pre bed night feed the rest of the time. If he still wants to feed in the day and I'm around I really don't see the harm in it.

I agree that if cows milk is good for DCs growing bones then surely human milk is even better.

I'm aiming to stop around age 2 as I'd like another baby eventually and my periods have shown no sign of coming back, plus if I get terrible morning sickness again I probably will feel too ill to breastfeed.

Toottootcar · 18/03/2017 10:33

Mine fed till they gave up, around 2 each time. Later on its usually evenings only, maybe if they're sick they want a bit more. My youngest won't touch cows milk so I'm half he had bm for longer. Elder drank both happily. I did not discuss this with anyone I think if you do you feel pressure either way.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 18/03/2017 10:33

16 months (and counting). I've always fed on demand and he only now BFs before bed and occasionally during the day if I am home with him. When he's at nursery he doesn't seem to miss it. He much prefers cows milk now anyway. I think it's just the snuggliness he likes.

Don't worry about what your friends think. Look at the advice of the WHO and NHS, and also your own personal feelings on it.

miserableandinpain · 18/03/2017 10:33

Ds 1 15 months but only because i was pregnant with ds2. Ds 2 2.5 years again stopped because i am pregnant

CrohnicallyPregnant · 18/03/2017 10:34

DD fed until about 2 3/4. By 18 months or so she only fed at night or occasionally before a nap. Most people would not have known she was stil breastfed unless they specifically asked. If I was away then I didn't bother expressing, she would just have hot chocolate made with cows milk as an alternative.

By 2 1/2 she would just have a quick cuddle and maybe 10 seconds of feeding, I'm not sure she was even getting any milk! At some point she stopped asking for it, I think it might have been after we went on holiday and the routine was broken.

EasterRobin · 18/03/2017 10:35

I breastfed once a day until nearly 2 years old. It helped with our bonding once I'd gone back to work, was good for her immune system and it felt natural / right to do. We stopped when she had a big mental development spurt and it felt different to me (and I think her too) and like the time to stop. Our and our children's bodies are built to tell us to do this... And when to stop. If bf-ing feels right to both of you then you should go on doing it as long as you both want to.

And you should feel comfortable to stop at this stage if that's what you want too. You've done a fab job and nutritionally you're done once your child is eating proper food.

ScrambledSmegs · 18/03/2017 10:36

Btw, she had glue ear and almost constant ear infections as a baby. The consultant we saw at the ENT was ecstatic that I was bfing past a year and kept telling me to keep going as besides the acknowledged health benefits, the way DC was feeding was good for her ears, I think.

DC is now 4, healthy and no more obsessed with breasts than any other child that age.