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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you bf past a year?

216 replies

Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 18/03/2017 09:23

I am currently breastfeeding my almost 1 year old. I only feed him 2/3 times a day now but I think he would struggle to be weaned from these as he still very much demands them, particularly the night feed.

I have a group of friends with similar aged babies and all the ones who are breastfeeding are on a deadline to give up at a year. They are surprised, if not a little disgusted, that I don't feel the same urgency to wean by then. I would like another baby and know it will be difficult while I am still feeding but other than this I don't see the great urgency if he's not ready. It's true he is now a good eater so perhaps is only breastfeeding for comfort but there must be some benefits, are there? If you continued past a year can I ask why and if you think there are any benefits or should I try to wean him completely now? He is not a fan of cows milk.

OP posts:
Daffodils07 · 18/03/2017 11:47

14 months and still going, dd feed loads compared to others over a year Hmm
She will not take any other sorce of liquids so will continue to do it until she decides to drink from other forms hopefully by the time she is at school Grin

Original poster
Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 18/03/2017 11:56

Thank you for all your replies, it's so interesting to hear others' experiences. I literally know nobody who plans to feed past a year so it's good to hear I'm not abnormal. He has had a couple of I'll eases recently and I enjoyed found knowing he is hydrated with breast milk very reassuring so think I would miss this if I stopped. I know it would be traumatic for him to go cold turkey at the moment so will definitely continue for a little longer at least.

OP posts:
Original poster
Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 18/03/2017 11:58

And yes I have heard the 'up to a year you're doing it for the baby and past a year you're doing it for you' comments. Interesting as, although I find it easy and convenient, I am not especially attached to it emotionally!

OP posts:
Binglesplodge · 18/03/2017 11:59

Yes, still feeding at nearly 2 and a half: there just wasn't an obvious time to stop! He only ever wants it first thing in the morning, to help him get to sleep for his nap, and after his story at bedtime. I never really planned to go this long but I think I'll have to let him decide when to stop...

MsAwesomeDragon · 18/03/2017 12:04

I bf dd1 till she was about 1, just a few weeks after her birthday she stopped asking for it, so we stopped. I think I'd been sort of encouraging weening without even noticing.

Dd2 carried on till she was 2 and a couple of months. She'd just been having bedtime feed for a few months by then, but was properly demanding till 18 months. I think she stopped because i had been pg and then miscarried which all affected my supply so she wasn't actually getting anything. I was quite glad that she chose to stop then because i was ready to stop but not prepared to fight her about it.

Strummerville · 18/03/2017 12:28

DC1 21 months. In hindsight, wish I'd continued longer as that seems a short time to me now. Still, it kept her out of hospital during a horrendous bout of gastroenteritis at 18 months - Dr at A&E said they would admit her but as she was BF she would get through it fine at home, and she did.

DC2 stopped by his own choice the day before his 5th birthday. At that point it was just a few minutes before bed each night. On that evening he popped off and just said "I'm finished now Mummy." and never asked again. Was nice and felt "complete" Smile

I do feel the benefits (emotional and physical) of BF past a year are greatly underestimated and generally not well understood.

123bananas · 18/03/2017 12:32

Dd1 was 2.

Dd2 17 months, self-weaned (I was pregnant and the milk changed).

Ds is 3 and still feeding.

Do what is right for you and your child.

BottleBeach · 18/03/2017 12:51

I started the 'don't offer, don't refuse' method of stopping breastfeeding when DS was 2. By the time he was 3 I was saying 'not now' if I didn't feel like it. He rarely fed during the day, unless he was ill, or had hurt himself, or needed help calming down from a tantrum. I actually can't imagine parenting a toddler without breastfeeding! As he got older it became only a couple of times a week, usually first thing in the morning. He finally stopped altogether when he was about 5.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 18/03/2017 12:59

I fed my eldest until 20 months and my youngest until about 18 months. It suited us and really was nothing to do with anyone else.

In my husband's culture it is perfectly normal to feed children until they are 4 or 5.

You do what is right for you and your baby and don't worry about what others think.

AGnu · 18/03/2017 13:06

I hated bf-ing but I did it until they lost interest, DS1 just before he was 1y, DS2 just after his birthday. Am currently pregnant with DC3 & hope I can do it longer this time. Just remembering the feeling makes me squirm not that it was painful exactly, I just didn't like it so it's definitely not for my benefit!

sebashocked · 18/03/2017 13:07

3 years and still going

NearlyEaster · 18/03/2017 13:10

DS1 was 22m but I was heavily pg and the combination was too much for me. But he was very ill and dropped 25% of his body weight at 20m so bfing got him through that.

DS2 was 34m and again I instigated it as he wasn't showing any signs of weaning. But he was also very ill at about 30m and bfing helped him through that.

So I'm glad I lasted as long as I did. It was definitely for them at the end though not me!!

BeyondUnderthinking · 18/03/2017 13:10

Eldest was 18months, at which point ds2 was born. I went in to hospital assuming they would tandem feed but then ds1 wasn't interested when I got out. Youngest was about 20 months, at which point I started medication (having held out as long as I could) that was incompatible.

From about a year, both were on only one or two feeds a day - so it wasn't "obvious" to anyone we saw day to day. So i think it's more popular than you'd think :)

Toffeewhirl · 18/03/2017 13:12

Three years for my first son and two years for my second. Ignore silly judgemental comments and do what you and your child want.

ChairoftheBored · 18/03/2017 13:14

3 years and counting! We feed first thing in the morning and bedtime. It helps with reconnection at the end of the day - often while nursing my DD will tell me so,thing she might have been fretting about. It also helps with immunity while it's only annecdata and I've no couterfacual, my DD has never needed antibiotics, and only ever had 2-3 really nasty bugs (one tummy bug, one lot of croup, one hideous cough). I think feeding has kept other bugs at bay and shortened the duration of those she's had.

I don't tell folk though, as I know they would judge.

Placebogirl · 18/03/2017 13:14

My darling last born is 14.5 months, I just had ten days away from her for work and when I planned the trip I was worried that it would mean weaning her...not on your life! I pumped while I was away and she wanted to nurse within an hour of seeing me again. She'd be well annoyed if I tried to stop, so we'll keep going for now.

Countrygirl38 · 18/03/2017 13:21

First child 12 months, second child 2.4 years. If you want to go for it, still lots of benefits.

Darlink · 18/03/2017 13:22

2

WarblingWail · 18/03/2017 13:37

Ds is 7months, but I really would like to get to at least 18months - 2yrs.

Can anyone tell me me practicalities of bf once you're back at work? Or is extended feeding only really possible if you're at home with them?

notquiteruralbliss · 18/03/2017 13:43

2years plus for each of mine

ISaySteadyOn · 18/03/2017 14:00

I have just bfed DS to sleep. He is nearly 3. My DDs fed until all their teeth came through which was at about 3 yo.

As a side note, I was in a stage of tandem feeding DD1 and DD2 when I got pregnant with DS so bfing does not necessarily lead to a lower fertility.

Toottootcar · 18/03/2017 14:12

People are worried if you feed too long they will still be feeding at ten. This is of course nonsense. Why would you arbitrarily stop at one when the recommendation is a minimum of two years? If you don't want to stop, that it.
My child had an illness at 3.5 that made it sore to feed. When he was better he still couldn't do it - it's like he lost the knack of it.

Babyroobs · 18/03/2017 14:15

16 months for ds1, 9 months for ds2 ( milk dried up ), 2 years for ds3 and 3 years for dd although the last year of this was only once at night.

IckleWicklePumperNickle · 18/03/2017 14:16

DS1 stopped just before 4 years.

Will see when DS2 stops.

Heirhelp · 18/03/2017 14:17

I only managed to feed for six weeks. In an ideal world I would have feed until at least 2 years.

The WHO suggests feeding until at least 2. If you and baby are happy then keep feeding.