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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think its normal to

72 replies

NameGotLostInCyberspace · 17/03/2017 16:27

Open each others post? I think its fine to open DHs post and vice versa. He is not comfortable with it so I won't do it. So do you open each others post?

OP posts:
Mrsglitterfairy · 17/03/2017 16:29

Yeah we do, often without realising it as we both have the same initial and surname. Doesn't bother any of us though

TheMasterNotMargarita · 17/03/2017 16:29

No.
We don't hide anything but I don't open his letters or read his.texts or emails why would you?

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 17/03/2017 16:33

I do if it looks interesting he don't give a shit. He don't bother with mine though.

AVY1 · 17/03/2017 16:34

I do because it doesn't get opened otherwise.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 17/03/2017 16:34

No.

harderandharder2breathe · 17/03/2017 16:35

If he is not comfortable with it then no it's not ok and you need to stop doing it

wigglesrock · 17/03/2017 16:35

No, I don't read his post, I don't read anything meant for somebody else.

PurpleDaisies · 17/03/2017 16:36

We do unless it looks like something personal. We have a joint account and are totally open about pretty much everything anyway. We even check each other's emails.

DramaAlpaca · 17/03/2017 16:36

I think it's quite disrespectful to open post addressed to someone else. DH & I wouldn't dream of opening each other's post.

PurpleDaisies · 17/03/2017 16:37

I think it's quite disrespectful to open post addressed to someone else.

It isn't disrespectful if you've both agreed it's fine.

EllaHen · 17/03/2017 16:39

No, we don't open each other's mail. We are different people. Different surnames so no accidental opening either.

mumeeee · 17/03/2017 16:40

No. We don't open each others post or read their texts and emails. What if one of you is planning a surprise for the other one?

mowgelijeffs · 17/03/2017 16:48

I don't open my husbands post but he opens mine I feel edgy when he does I have no reason to it's only things like appointments with dentist etc but it makes me feel weird. No secrets from him though.
I don't think it's unreasonable

cazisalittlenuts · 17/03/2017 16:51

I dont have a dp/dh, but I do open my mothers post from certain places. Before anyone roasts me for this, its with her permission as she is not only partially sighted, but at the moment has been in hospital since January. We decided a year or so ago that I would open any mail that was potentially medical appts, as shes often forgot to tell me about them and then only tells me a couple of days before hand when she gets the NHS telephone reminder. Currently though I am opening anything apart from obvious junk mail in case it needs dealt with as of yet, no discharge date for her.

Hassled · 17/03/2017 16:53

No, we don't ever open each other's post and I'd hate it if DH did. We're married but we're not the same person - the post addressed to me is for me, not him.

WhooooAmI24601 · 17/03/2017 16:55

No, we don't. We've lived together for almost 10 years but still don't. It's not because there's anything to hide it just wouldn't occur to me.

MIL opens her DP's post and then hides it. That's on the far side of lunacy and solely down to her not trusting him. If I didn't trust DH he wouldn't be here.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 17/03/2017 16:58

I like to open my own post thank you, it's got my name on it so I will open it. Dh doesn't open my post and I don't open his

Its only ok to open others post if they are ok with it

PigeonPie · 17/03/2017 16:58

No we don't. I get a lot of post for work as I work from home and it is sometimes difficult to differentiate between personal and work stuff if it hasn't got identifying information on the envelope.

I think it's also about respect. I wouldn't dream of opening DH's post or even my DSs'.

Nquartz · 17/03/2017 17:00

I only open DHs if it's junk, but he rarely gets anything else anyway

treaclesoda · 17/03/2017 17:00

Wouldn't occur to me to open my husband's post and he wouldn't open mine either.

I can't say we have ever discussed it though, it has just always been that way. I wouldn't be terribly happy if he started, even though I have absolutely nothing to hide from him.

We don't read each others emails/texts/whatsapps either.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/03/2017 17:02

Not unless it's joint or something I know is urgent in which case I would ask him if he wanted me to.

m0therofdragons · 17/03/2017 17:02

If I didn't open dh's post it would just sit there. I wouldn't open birthday cards but anything else I open and have no issues with him opening mine. My friend's husband wouldn't let her open his post. Turned out he had 5 credit cards maxed out plus pay day loans! She accidentally opened his post (one letter). I'd be very suspicious of a dp who was that protective- mind you we rarely get post anyway.

Iamastonished · 17/03/2017 17:03

"So do you open each others post?"

Only if OH wants me to. If he is away he asks me to open his post, and I would ask him to do the same. Usually the default is not to. I feel it is disrespectful to open someone's post without their permission.

Annesmyth123 · 17/03/2017 17:05

No I don't open dps and I'd see it as an invasion of privacy if he opened mine.

I had a controlling ex who monitored post and phone and text and email and I concede I am sensitive about this though.

Moussemoose · 17/03/2017 17:06

I just wouldn't. It's got his name on. It wouldn't occur to me to open it.

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