My birthday, no card from DH.

[Flossiesmummy]

A bit likely to out me, but I don't care.
It's my birthday and my DH just told me he'll get me a card "later" as he's been too busy.

AIBU to be upset over this? I feel like he just couldn't be arsed.

Happy Birthday I'd be hurt too the selfish stu

Sorry posted too soon

YANBU. I would be a hurt by this too, I'm assuming that he knows you'd want a birthday card/pressie. If this was a one off aberration I'd let it go if he's always being lazy and not bothering with you I'd let him know how upset I was.

Does he live with you?
Did you see him this morning (or at any time today)
Why does he need a card to write 'happy birthday' when he can verbalise his greetings in person?

Happy birthday 🎉 🎂🥂

Happy Birthday, OP.

I have a weird (for MN) attitude to birthdays, and try to ignore them. I think as a child I was endlessly disappointed by what a damp squib they all were, and so I must have developed this defence mechanism.

So somewhat paradoxically I do understand that it's hurtful when a perfectly normal desire for a token of birthday affection is seemingly regarded as a nuisance, and yes those 'small things' really do matter.

So does that mean you haven't received anything from your children either because he didn't help them? I am sorry OP, hope end and can still have a nice day 🎉💐🎂

The issue isn't whether he values birthdays/cards. It's that he knows you do, but can't be bothered to make the smallest of effort to make you happy. Even after being told that you were conscious of the previous birthdays were crap. You might want to read www.google.co.uk/amp/s/mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/amp/

Yes it's rubbish that he didn't prioritize your birthday - but even more rubbish that he didn't think about how big a deal it would be for your DCs and do something for them to give you

Hope your day gets better

I understand where you're coming from OP. It was our wedding anniversary last week and dh left it until the last minute then forgot to buy a card. The same thing happened at valentines day, so I blew a gasket. I'm not fussed about presents and lavish gifts, but I do appreciate a card.

Happy Birthday op. Hope you have a good day.

Have these people not heard of Moonpig and the like? You can even select a card, pay for it in advance and then set it to deliver at a later date. There really is no excuse at all.

Could he be getting flowers etc delivered later so thinks you don't need a card too?

YANBU

Without extenuating circumstances I would be dreadfully upset and it would make me feel undervalued and unimportant..

Happy Birthday

It only takes a second to put a reminder in his phone for a week in advance.
I think adult birthdays are a bit meh, however if they're important to others you have to respect that.

Both DH and I are rubbish at birthdays.

We have a stash of birthday cards ready so there is never any excuse for 'I was too busy'.

If it is important to him, he'll find a solution. I'd be cutting out the 'special breakfast' on his birthday from now on.

I think if i were you id organise something for my self. Even if its a takeaway for you and the kids but fucking don't involve the prick. Then when he goes sulky and moody firmly and calmly tell him that actually because he cant be bothered with organising a fucking card and gift which he could of picked up from a super market then you cant actually be bothered spending any time with him.on your birthday . Then when he inevitability kicks of or sulks walk away and say sorry im too busy and go enjoy your self. ......but then im also in a foul mood so not sure how reasonable that is

That's shite but happy birthday

Try and find out why and if he just doesn't think they're that important then don't bother with his next time.

No. This is just not on! Sorry OP.

I think the most hurtful thing is that your kids might feel upset because they will have wanted to do something special for you. Do you get on with your MIL? - mention it to her! My MIL had a very stern word with DH about a similar issue!

My H stopped 'remembering' when he stopped giving a shit. When he still cared he was perfectly capable of buying a card and a present despite being equally busy.

Thanks for all the replies. Our children are both under school age and so incapable of doing anything by themselves. My eldest made up a happy birthday song for me which was really lovely.

For those saying that perhaps birthdays aren't that big a deal, they are. Well, at least when it's his birthday. Just not mine apparently.

They say 'it's the thought that counts'. And he's had 364 days to think of you and buy a card - even just when he was passing a shop last summer. He didn't, and I'd guess it's the thoughtlessness that hurts more than the lack of card.

i know some adults don't attach much importance to adult birthdays, but, if you know someone else does, then you try, don't you? It's just a card ffs, how hard can it be?

Happy birthday, OP!

The OP doesn't say the children didn't have anything for her. Maybe DH was so busy organising that he forgot the card from him?

X post. I guess the children didn't then. In that case I take it all back. Your 'D' H is an arse!