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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To phone in sick?

24 replies

Loulou87 · 15/03/2017 23:02

So to cut a long story short DS age 9 is ill, he's been in bed since 8 but keeps getting up to vomit, so I'm on night sickness vigil tonight.
No way can he go to school tomorrow and there's only my OH's Grandparents who will be able to have him.
Usually there's no problem with this but his grandmother has been under the weather herself recently, and as much as they love to see the grandchildren, I do hate to put on them. They are both in their late 70's.
Then there's work, if I phone in sick I know that's going to put extra work onto the others and make their day longer.

I know if I phone my oh grandparents they will say yes in an instance even if they're not feeling up to it, so if feel guilty leaving him with them knowing he's ill and his grandmother isn't well either, but at the same time I'd feel guilty phoning in work.

OP posts:

Babyroobs · 15/03/2017 23:04

Ask for unpaid leave or holiday. You are not sick so shouldn't be ringing in sick. Sickness bugs can hit the elderly hard particularly if they are already unwell so I wouldn't involve elderly gp's.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 15/03/2017 23:06

Can your OH cover tomorrow instead? Or one of you tomorrow and the other Friday? I wouldn't expose someone who's already under the weather. Hope your DS feels better soon.

ilovesooty · 15/03/2017 23:08

You aren't sick yourself so I think YABU to consider ringing in sick.

Vanillamanilla1 · 15/03/2017 23:10

I'd ring in sick

fallenempires · 15/03/2017 23:11

Sounds like he has a bug so needs to be off school for 48 hours after the last bout of vomiting.In the circumstances it would be unwise to leave him in the care of already poorly GP's.Lots of people take time off work for less so I wouldn't feel unduly worried tbh,I'm quite sure that you have covered others in similar circumstances.

Chocolatecake12 · 15/03/2017 23:11

I think you have no choice but to phone in but can you ask for parental leave?
It won't go against your sickness record then.
If your other colleagues have dependants then they will have been in this situation before and will understand.

5OBalesofHay · 15/03/2017 23:11

You can't phone in sick if you're not. You could see if you could get holiday or unpaid day off if there's no-one else. I wouldn't ask someone who isn't well to look afte a sick child

Finola1step · 15/03/2017 23:11

I wouldn't be leaving a vomiting child with great grandparents in their late 70s. It really isn't fair.

Either you or dh take the day off as emergency childcare. Or half a day each.

mathsy · 15/03/2017 23:14

You just have to phone in sick. I feel bad doing it too. It creates more work for colleagues and costs the school money (I'm a teacher), but I have to look after my kids if they're ill. Your workplace will understand I'm sure.

Original poster

Loulou87 · 15/03/2017 23:14

Sorry I should have worded it better, I wouldn't phone myself in sick but would have phoned the boss and explained he's ill and I have no childcare. We can take unpaid leave for emergencys like when a child is ill, that is what I'm mostly likely going to do, I just feel bad putting on the other team members as we are so busy.

OP posts:

Porpoiselife · 15/03/2017 23:15

Is it a job you could do from home at all?

Wando1986 · 15/03/2017 23:16

Just do it. It's exactly why you're entitled to the unpaid parental leave. As is every parent.

Ankleswingers · 15/03/2017 23:19

Please don't leave him with elderly grandparents. Not fair on them at all.

I would be calling in to ask for emergency parental leave- you absolutely need to look after him.

Please please keep him off for 48 hours too from last episode of sickness- not fair on his classmates at all to just keep him off tomorrow. Also probably against school procedures too.

Good luck.

Huldra · 15/03/2017 23:24

There's not really an aibu.

Child can't go to school for the next couple of days.
You can't give a vomiting child (assuming a d&v type bug) to others to care for, especially if they've been unwell themselves.

Either you or the Dad has to call their employer to explain they need the time off. Make sure its not always you.

unfortunateevents · 15/03/2017 23:32

Is your OH going to share this time off? If your son continues to vomit tonight he won't be able to go back to school on Friday either so someone will need to be with him then as well.

Original poster

Loulou87 · 15/03/2017 23:34

I'm not leaving him with them hence my OP, if I phoned them they would say bring him over straight away but I couldn't do that, im not even going to mention it to them.
My oh is basically in the same boat that I am, except we would loose a lot more money if he was off as opposed to me (I only work part time).
Working from home isn't a possibility, I work for a cleaning company and we have set jobs per day, if somebody's off those jobs get added to other workers making their day longer.
And I know the 24 hour rule, I'm fine for Friday, my sister is off work and will be able to have him, it's just tomorrow I'm stuck for.
Im fed up of feeling guilty about work!

OP posts:

Tottyandmarchpane1 · 15/03/2017 23:36

Definitely phone in sick. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

unfortunateevents · 15/03/2017 23:38

Well it's not nice to feel that you are adding to people's workload but presumably it's swings and roundabouts and when other people are off ill or with caring emergencies you end up doing your share of longer days as well?

TittyGolightly · 15/03/2017 23:42

Lots of misunderstanding about parental leave here.

Parental leave is unpaid, must be taken in week long blocks with at least 21 days notice being given.

It is not for situations like the OP's

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1637

Original poster

Loulou87 · 15/03/2017 23:42

Unfortunateevents you're right, that's probably why I feel bad as there's been many of times I've had to work late due to others, but like you say it's swings and roundabouts, it should work both ways, but I still feel bad.

OP posts:

Specialagentblond · 15/03/2017 23:44

Take a days parental leave, offer to make it up elsewhere if possible, look after your child. As a former employer, parental leave would have been granted, no questions.

I know you are not planning to ring in sick but with situations such as these, you may catch the bug and then genuinely need to ring in sick so it's best to be truthful. I'm sure you'd rather be at work with a well child 💐

Specialagentblond · 15/03/2017 23:48

Sorry, it's not parental leave, but maybe leave for dependents?

fallenempires · 15/03/2017 23:52

Having children these are inevitable events,trust me your colleagues will understand.Also with repetitive vomiting you must observe 48 & not 24 hours after the last bout.Your child is contagious and a risk to others,some have a weakened immune system and contact could be very serious for them.
I do appreciate the financial loss as I've had to do it myself in a P/T job & also self employment.

Original poster

Loulou87 · 15/03/2017 23:54

Thankyou specialagentblond, I'd rather be ill myself them it be him, I hate feeling helpless when they're ill.
I'll bell my boss tomorrow and explain I'm stuck my sister is fine for Friday, she will come here and watch him, she's been here everyday for at least and hour this week so if it's anything contagious she's allready been round him.

OP posts:

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