to think Lloyd's Bank are an incompetent bunch of bankers?

[ShatnersWig]

As of today I have been without a debit card for two weeks. There have been umpteen phone calls, tweets etc. I finally have a single person from the complaints dept dealing with it. I'm speaking to him again this evening.

To go into the full story would fill this thread, but there has been fault after fault after fault, I've been given wrong information, told they can't do something which would actually solve the problem (ie send a card to my nearest branch or by recorded next day delivery), treated differently to other customers (which I can prove), probably lied to and the inconvenience of not having a card for so long has been incalculable. Nothing to do with Royal Mail, other post from the bank has been received.

I work for a small charity and they don't have a card with their bank account (also with Lloyd's) so I use mine and them claim it back. I've not been able to order stuff for work. I had a week off and wanted to book a last minute holiday - impossible without a card. Even booking things like theatre tickets proved impossible as they want to see the card when you collect them.

When I made an official complaint a week ago (having already made other non-formal phone calls) I was told that I would be contacted "shortly". Having not heard from them in two days I rang back and asked when I would be rung. I was told that the complaints process was such that I would be contacted "within 5 working days". I replied that I don't regard that as shortly and why wasn't I told that in the first place.

The likelihood of my finally getting a card by the end of this week is slim, so we're talking somewhere between 2.5-3 weeks without a card all told. I have never had a credit card (which I shall now obviously have to look into) as I've never ever liked the idea of buying stuff on credit as we were ridiculously poor when I was young and if you wanted something you saved for it and that's never really left me.

I don't have a partner, so can't use their card.

All the staff at my nearest branch and the people I've spoken to on the phones are all embarrassed and even when I ask the complaints guy (who is quite senior) if he thinks this situation is acceptable and his opinion of their customer service he's not even paused but said "no, it isn't acceptable, I'm amazed you're being so calm with me and I agree it's nowhere near good enough; I couldn't cope without my card for 3 days let alone two weeks".

He's looking into things, speaking to me tonight, and has said he will get this all sorted and see it through personally until I get a card and then "we need to talk about how we can make this right" which means compensation. I know if I am unhappy with their offer I can decline it and complain to the Financial Ombudsman and they may make a ruling and up the compensation to a more acceptable level. Or I may get nothing.

Would you tell them to shove their offer unless it was pretty significant and go to the Ombudsman or just accept what is offered (and then switch banks)?

I don't do loads of stuff for work on my debit card, it's occasional, but have been doing so for 10 years and the same amounts and suppliers. Nothing unusual, reimbursed by cheque. The type of account we have and the need for cheques to be signed by two trustees means we don't have a card.

Incidentally, i was supposed to get a phone call from the complaints handler at 6 pm tonight. Didn't ring. So i rang at 6.30 to be told "I'll see if he's free" followed by "he's on the phone" so i left a message.

I rang back at 7.40 having still heard nothing to be told he actually left at 6. I pointed out he told me he was going to ring me at 6 and at 6.30 i was told he was on the phone.

How i didn't totally lose my shit i don't know but i told the woman on the phone I'd had enough and i wanted my complaint escalated to this complaints handler's manager and i insisted he rings me tomorrow morning.

I then tweeted this to keep it all public.

I reckon anyone who leaves the UK is astonished to discover just how much more competent the banks are elsewhere.

UK banks are awful.

It rolls on. Senior manager rings me. Has listened to recording and yes, I was told I was supposed to get a phone call yesterday, so I've got them on that. He's listened to other recordings from previous calls and admits many customer service failings. But there is still no way to get a card to me without using the normal method. So, another card ordered which SHOULD be here by 23/3. That will have been 3 weeks without normal access to my account. As usual, he agrees the processes are rubbish. He agrees it's appalling. He just - and no one can apparently - sort this out by any other means. He is now owning this complaint (as I refuse to deal with the guy who was supposed to own it and failed to ring me up) and will be ringing me to discuss compensation once I actually have a card. Total shambles of an organisation.

No worse than the others. I bank with NatWest and I am treasurer of a society which banks with Barclays - and they've both buggered me about sometimes. Most of them are doing a very boring job.