You're not very maternal...

[LookAtTheFlowersKerry]

My mother has told me this THREE TIMES in the last week.

Wtf does that even mean? I have three dc. I breastfed two of them into toddlerhood. I still cosleep with the five year old. I am a SAHM. We cuddle, spend time together and are generally very affectionate and loving. Even the teenagers.

I'm not sure how much more maternal I'm expected to be? I think it's because I dont do crafts. Or iron. I'm clearly severely lacking in maternal skills.

What am I missing? What does one have to do to be 'maternal'? And should I be doing better?

My DM once told me to "Try to be more feminine, dear". In her case it was undoubtedly well-meaning but that hurt. I (wrongly) thought I was likely to have difficulty conceiving due to being 'unfeminine' and really worried about it.

Was your DM a SAHM? I get the impression that women of her generation were very likely to get almost all their self-worth from being a conscientious mum. Maybe she feels that her different parenting style is no longer valued now that you are doing things differently from her.

Thinking about it more as I type, perhaps this is your DM's way of trying to hang on to the last remnants of authority or control over you.

Your mum has had her turn of bringing up children. Now it's your turn. Don't let her get to you. (easier said than done)

Perhaps she doesn't know what Maternal means?