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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dd sent to medical room by herself with lunch

35 replies

icantthinkofamnusername · 13/03/2017 20:41

I probably am bu.

Dd got sent home with another tummy ache today. Hadn't eaten her lunch. Got asked if I wanted them to give her Calpol or do I want to collect her.

I offered to go get her. She hadn't eaten, so if the Calpol had worked she would probably be hungry and wouldn't concentrate on her work. I dunno. I got the impression anyhow that they'd rather I came to collect her.

So this evening dd (7) tells me she was sent from the lunch hall with her lunch to the medical room by herself to finish her lunch which was (in her words) wasn't very hot when she got there.

Aibu to question why she was a) sent by herself and b) why was she told to take her lunch with her.

It's the not the first time I've questioned their care towards kids when they're ill. Normally I've just rolled my eyes and got on with it. Just today had annoyed me (probably because last week I dished out another load of money for school stuff so I'm currently a bit Hmm at her school but that's for an entirely different thread)

OP posts:
Bizzysocks · 13/03/2017 20:51

I presume she told the dinner lady she had tummy ache so was sent to sick bay.

I presume the dinner lady then said do you want to take your dinner with you. I presume if your dd said she didn't want it she wouldn't have been forced to, but for all the dinner lady knew it may have been hours before you could pick her up so though she may need to eat.

I'm not understanding to problem? Is it that you think she should walk down to corridor of a school alone? As that is completely normal.

I think your other issues with the school are clouding your judgement on this.

Original poster
icantthinkofamnusername · 13/03/2017 21:10

She was told to take it with her, she wasn't asked.

When I got the phone call I was told she just sat there with it in front of her and didn't touch it.

Probably is clouding my judgement. You're right.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 13/03/2017 21:21

The dinner lady was just trying her best. Doing what she thought was the right thing to do in that moment. If she had told your daughter not to take her lunch would that have been been the wrong thing too as your dd might have wanted something to eat. If she took it with her she could choose to eat or not eat. If she didn't take it then she would no longer have the choice.

She couldn't have asked another child to go with your dd as they would have been eating and she couldn't have left all the other dc to take your dd.

BackforGood · 13/03/2017 21:23

I'm not really seeing the problem either.
By having her lunch with her, she had the option to then eat it or not. It could have been something and nothing. It could have been something nasty - the dinner lady couldn't tell. It might even have been wind related and it might have been shifted by a walk down the corridor. If she felt she couldn't eat, then no harm done. If she'd felt that she could have a bit, then this gave her that option.

Snap8TheCat · 13/03/2017 21:25

If she'd have been sent without her lunch you'd have been moaning that they starved her.

harderandharder2breathe · 13/03/2017 21:28

Presumably she was told to take it in case she decided she wanted it after all, it's not like they forced her to eat it.

Sending her on her own is fine IMO, it's her school, it's a safe environment.

I'm a Brownie leader and the first thing I do with an injured or ill child is get rid of the crowd of friends that clusters around them, so I'm not surprised they don't encourage a friend to go with her.

amy85 · 13/03/2017 21:31

Don't really see the issue...It's not schools fault she didn't eat...They let her go to sick bay with a tummy ache and they even offered to give her calpol (most schools wont even give antibiotics)...If my DS (8) told his teacher or dinner lady he had tummy ache he would be told "I'm sure you will be fine" and then be told they will check on him later (which rarely happens)

thatdearoctopus · 13/03/2017 21:31

Are YBU?

Yes.

Emphasise · 13/03/2017 21:31

Another tummy ache? I imagine staff are getting a bit exasperated too. What's being done to find out why she complains of stomach pain so much?

BeaderBird · 13/03/2017 21:44

Presumably you would also be complaining if when DD told a member of staff that she felt poorly that they told her to sit quietly and finish her lunch.

Staff member showed appropriate concern and sent her to the sick bay (she clearly knew where it was and didn't need to leave school premises to get there alone). Staff member also showed enough concern to encourage DD to take her lunch with her in the event that she might feel up to eating.

What exactly is the problem?

Original poster
icantthinkofamnusername · 13/03/2017 21:46

Doctors on Thursday. This is the second one she's been sent home with and the 3rd she's mentioned in the last couple of months so I'm not ignoring it.

General consensus is I'm BU that's fine. I just thought it was weird to send an ill child on their own to the med room with their lunch.

OP posts:
Wellitwouldbenice · 13/03/2017 21:49

Eh? She was sick so she was in the medical room. Makes sense she would eat her lunch there. The food got a bit cold? What do you expect - a microwave in there? In terms of care for sick children, again, what do you expect? A private nurse or doctor? A spare teacher???

GreenPeppers · 13/03/2017 21:55

Does it mean that your dd stayed in her own in a room until you can and collect her?

I can see why the dinner lady said that.

I'm more confused as to if she was left in her own or not.
I personally don't think you should leave a child on his own if they are unwell. Just because anything could happen iyswim

liviadrusilla · 13/03/2017 21:58

Why would that be weird? Where else should she be?

melj1213 · 13/03/2017 22:04

I just thought it was weird to send an ill child on their own to the med room with their lunch.

It isn't and YABU

What exactly did you expect to happen if your child is ill at lunchtime?

Sara107 · 13/03/2017 22:11

DD is at a very small school, they don't have an actual medical room or sick bay, they go to the library. But I don't think a child would be left on their own, usually another child is sent to sit with them.
Tummy ache in children of that age can cover a mulitude of things. DD complains of it a lot, and I think she can't really differentiate between different feelings in her tummy. So if she's hungry, or eaten too much she'll say she has tummy ache. I think any sort of stress tends to manifest itself in her as 'tummy ache' as well.

thatdearoctopus · 13/03/2017 22:13

I just thought it was weird to send an ill child on their own to the med room

What, were you expecting an ambulance or something then? Grin

windypolar · 13/03/2017 22:14

I don't know that I'd be entirely happy for an unwell seven year old of mine to be sent to make her own way to, and sit on her own in a medical room. There's something rather sad about it, I don't think it's standard either (ex secondary teacher).

manicinsomniac · 13/03/2017 22:20

Wow.

I hope this thread is seen by some of the parents at the school I work in who are VERY upset about the fact that our school nurse had to leave suddenly so we have agency nurses in for a couple of weeks.

The thought that some schools have no adult at all in surgery, let alone no nurse would make them apoplectic!

I don't think I'd be comfortable with it, tbh. I wouldn't be outraged but I think it's less than ideal.

countingdown · 13/03/2017 22:21

What would you like to have happened?

MidniteScribbler · 13/03/2017 22:38

I lose count of the number of times per week someone tells me they have a stomach ache. Nine times out of ten, you find out they haven't eaten breakfast or morning tea, so they're starving by lunchtime. After they eat, they're fine. Sending them to the sick bay with their lunch is perfectly normal because they get bored, eat their lunch, then go back to class with a miraculous recovery.

If a child is feeling ill and needs to go to the sick bay, then they can get dropped off by a friend, who should then leave. Can you imagine it: "AIBU that they made my child sit with a child who was sick? Now she's sick and has to stay home from school herself." We have a school nurse who sits in her desk in the sick bay, and office staff are right outside the door if the nurse is otherwise occupied. There is no need for a sick child to be sat with by a peer.

JustSpeakSense · 13/03/2017 22:43

I presume she was told to take it in case she started to feel a bit better and felt hungry.

The dinner lady didn't know if she was going to be sent home or start feeling better.

I think the dinner lady made a sensible move. Poor school staff just can't win, damned if they do, damned if they don't.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 13/03/2017 22:49

If she had been sick in the dining hall, the procedure should be that the whole area would be cleared of people, cleaned and disinfected.

If she was going to be sick, the place for her to be is the medical room, with sick bowls and the like.

She was told to take her lunch with her, so that if she was like about 98% of the "sore tummies" I see in a day, within about 5 minutes it would be gone and she could still have her lunch.

What do you want them to do..? Have her be dick all over the table/floor in the dining room? Have her miss out on lunch because she is in the medical room..?

I think they did a sterling job of making sure no harm came to your DD and the other pupils, and everyone still got fed.

Original poster
icantthinkofamnusername · 13/03/2017 23:00

I think it's more that she was sent on her own. What kid when feeling ill wants to be sent somewhere on their own?

If they're ill they're sat on a bench outside the office/med room on their own with a sick bowl.

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 13/03/2017 23:02

But if it's tummy ache it could be a bug that would be catching. What's the alternative to sending her to the medical room? Leaving her in the dining room where she could be sick and infect others?

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