AIBU - insufferably snobby? Or me being oversensitive??

[dontdipyourhairinthebeanjuice]

So we don't see the in laws often (hubby reasons not mine) we saw them at Christmas to do a gift exchange, lots of prezzies, needed a big bag so used a great big lidl bag - just for transporting, all presents were wrapped nicely and thoughtfully inside. So at the weekend, met up again, SIL says she has a gift for me, makes quite a thing of it. Its the LIDL bag, returned to me "as she couldn't think who it belonged to but then thought of me" The bag was returned to me in a John Lewis bag.

I should add there is history. For example If ever tea is being made at a family occasion, she will say "you like it butch don't you" meaning I like "normal tea" whereas she likes earl grey. She travels with her slippers and brings her own earl grey tea bags if she ever visits our home (I do have earl grey in - I do have some posh friends too!) I find it all very rude AIBU?

She sounds like a twat, who on earth does that. Was she returning a plastic bag in a plastic bag? Or did she put one of those big lidl extra strong shipping bags in it? I guess the 2nd could be genuinely her trying to return the shopping bag. Hmm

I travel with slippers (get cold feet, I also have huge feet) and earl grey tea because I love a particular brand. My mum calls her tea, proper tea and feels earl grey tea is akin to drinking cat pee

I don't think I'm a snob and I'm certainly not rude, as such these things in isolation I do not think makes someone a rude wanker.

What she did with that bag, shows no sign of class and makes her a nasty rude wanker.

Take it from someone who married into a wealthy titled family. The give no fecks on such trivialities. She buys (or she sends someone) vodka and gin for xmas from Lidl and her nibbles always include Costco food. I bought her stuff from mat Alan and she wears them.

My boss who is pretty posh did a blind champagne taste test at Christmas and was full of praise for Aldi's champagne. Your SIL sounds like a dick.

Ahhhh thanks all, yes pestilentalone, Hyacinth has snuck into my mind many a time but I try to keep it in! She really caught me on a low day yesterday, and wasn't sure if it was me or her. I have been having inner rage for just open mouthedly accepting the bag in the bag.

If I only I didn't press post so prematurely. she's trying hard to be a snob but she fails. Ignore her. Do your own thing. I personally, prefer Aldi.

How did you not laugh hysterically at the fact that she put a bag in a bag?! I'd have had to have said something along the lines of 'I have a Harrods bag for your John Lewis bag if you need it' and laughed my head off.

Ten bob millionaire

When will people learn that true class is nothing to do with how much money you have or what sort of tea you drink?

Whatsername, brilliant. OP, you need to return the JL bag in a Harrods bag and wait to see how she one ups you. Maybe someone in Middle East could send you a bag from some goldsmith in Dubai for the round after that?

To me, everything you describe could be innocent. Just her being normal. Perhaps she didn't feel good keeping the bag now we all have to pay for them? Perhaps she brings her own tea because she finds normal tea too strong for her and she knows not everyone stocks it? Perhaps she's thoughtful and likes to feel at home wherever she goes and not put others out? It's really difficult to tell from this how she might mean it all but, personally, I can imagine doing much the same and meaning it in the nicest way and I'd be upset if people took offence at it.

You should have said that you have heard a rumour that Lidl and Aldi are joining forces to buy John Lewis.

Remember her behaviour with the bag shows more about her than it dods about you.

...Also it's a bit try-hard. My pil's are very wealthy, but other than nice holiday's I don't think most people would even notice because they don't rub it in people's faces.

Rather than getting upset, see the funny side of it. Try not to laugh out loud, she is probably quite insecure.

'John Lewis bag in a Harrods bag' should be Mumsnet shorthand for something.

@greystars I bet you are lovely about it though :-) I like to look after folk when they visit our home, I make sure I have things in that our friends and family enjoy, it def feels like a snub when she visits.

It does *

If my MIL ever told me that 'I like it butch' I don't think I could ever look her in the eye again

Anyway....if she uses a term like that she aint as classy as she likes to think she is.

A bag in a bag is ridiculous.
She must have nothing better to do!

My mum takes her slippers round to others. She's far from posh, I'd say Lidl is one of her fave shops!
but she sounds like a cowbag.

She's lower-middle class and socially aspirant, the most tiresome sub-class in a class-obsessed country when they behave like this. References to 'builders' tea', plastic bag and supermarket one up man ship, casual questions designed to find out where a new acquaintance went to school, what their parents and husband do for a living etc etc.

I have to wonder why she put the bag in a bag though. Hmmm...

I drink earl grey tea.
I was brought up on one of the worst council estates in the U.K. I went to a really shit school too! If she likes to make a big deal about drinking earl grey tea, she really is a bit of a twat.

My dm isn't posh but lives a very nice life with lots of lovely and well-off people around her. They all shop at Aldi and Lidl as a lot of the products are better quality European versions, oh and one of her friends replaced a jumper she accidentally spilt wine on with a cashmere one she gave me in a plastic Aldi bag the one she spoiled was 95% polyester and she knew it

It's a bit like a bird in a bird. Fortnums, Harrods, John Lewis, Lidl. Personally I keep the chimps in an old Fortnums caddy.