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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave toddler in cot

71 replies

Applebite · 12/03/2017 07:18

Feel a bit daft asking this, but we only have one and she's rather a PFB, so would appreciate any thoughts!

How long would you leave an 18 month old DC to entertain themselves in their cot in the morning? We don't put any toys or books in the cot with her because she's quite restless and roams all over it in her sleep.

Until now we've always got up with her (which is brilliant when she's going through a 4.30am start phase!), because I was worried she could climb/fall out of the cot. But last night DP finally listened to me and dropped it to its lowest setting so now she can just get her chin over the top.

A friend says she leaves hers until 7am unless they are crying. I'd love a bit more sleep, but it feels a bit odd just to leave her by herself - how long do/did you leave yours to entertain themselves, assuming they aren't upset?

OP posts:
Swissgemma · 12/03/2017 07:19

Until he cries!

whifflesqueak · 12/03/2017 07:20

I've always left mine until they wake.

CurlsLDN · 12/03/2017 07:21

Yup, if she's happy, leave her to entertain herself! I find that ds will often practice new sounds/words/songs which is lovely to hear. Perhaps he's too shy to sound them out in front of other people?

QueenCuntyFlippers · 12/03/2017 07:22

I used to leave my dc until they shouted 'Muuuuuummmmmyyyyyy!' Or if I fancied getting up.

I often used to hear them singing, talking etc. in the mornings. It was nice to hear them happy like that in the mornings.

whifflesqueak · 12/03/2017 07:22

sorry, skim read and missed that she was entertaining herself. mine never did that! so yes, until she cries or until you decide you want to play with her, whichever comes first.

apotheke · 12/03/2017 07:22

So long as they're not upset I don't go in. My toddler had a phase of waking and babbling for ages in the middle of the night but with no upset. I left a board book at bottom of cot for her to 'read' and ignored. Make sure nothing dangerous in reach and if DC can't climb then it's fine IMO.

Orangedaisy · 12/03/2017 07:23

DD is 3 next week and still in her cot. We leave her til 7am unless she is crying properly-whinging doesn't count! Have done since she turned 2. I don't think she ever wakes before 6.30am though.

SuperSheepdog · 12/03/2017 07:24

Won't she climb out if left?!

Original poster
Applebite · 12/03/2017 07:27

Thanks all, I think I need to stop being such a mother hen and just see if she'll stay in there for a bit. 4.30am -5am starts are brutal (DP does more than his share of them, but whoever gets up with her, the other is then awake anyway!).

She definitely can't climb out at the moment, it's got tall steep sides and when she stands up, her chin is just about over the top. But I will keep an eye out for that changing as she gets bigger!

OP posts:
skerrywind · 12/03/2017 07:28

I always got up when my kids waken,

Crying is a last resort- she may still be wet/uncomfortable/hungry without crying.

Littlecaf · 12/03/2017 07:28

DS is just 2. Since 18m he's been happy to play/sing/talk in his cot in the morning. I only go in if he's crying which doesn't really happen until after 7. It's quite nice being woken up by a giggly toddler.

Writerwannabe83 · 12/03/2017 07:35

I would leave mine in there until he started to get upset.

He stayed in his cot until he was 2yrs 8m and he never once tried to climb out.

CeCeBloomer · 12/03/2017 07:39

I go into dd when we DS wakes around 7 and considering she is in the room next door I never hear a peep from her until I go in and she is stood there or sat playing and starts chatting away, occasionally she will shout mummy but generally just happy entertaining herself so I leave her to it. If she cried I would get her straight away

OrchardDweller · 12/03/2017 07:46

Until they yelled "Muuummmeeee" Could you tuck a couple of books at the end of the cot to keep her occupied and she wouldn't kick them out if she's a restless sleeper. If your DD is happy entertaining herself in her cot, enjoy your sleep.

thethoughtfox · 12/03/2017 07:50

They will shout 'Mummy' when they want you. Mine can sometimes be heard singing and talking to herself for up to 3 hours afters we have put her to bed with only a stuffed animal for entertainment.

Highmaintenancefemalestuff · 12/03/2017 07:53

Until they cry. I've always been awake with them but I just love lying in bed listening to them when they first wake, jabbering away in baby talk to themselves.

thethoughtfox · 12/03/2017 07:54

Mine is now 3.5 and when she wakes up at 6:30, I go though and whisper that it's still nighttime and she has to sleep for longer ( I usually say half an hour) She isn't happy at first but I keep whispering so she gets that it's night time and tell her everyone else is asleep so we can't be noisy . She grumbles a bit and I offer to pick her up for a hug and then we do our wee good night routine (kiss, cuddle, high five, fist bump and goodnight rhyme) And she is quiet for almost exactly another half an hour or sometimes she falls asleep again and I get an hour or more.

bonzo77 · 12/03/2017 07:57

Until they start calling out or the chattering sounds less content. My 18 month old stayed very happily in his cot till around 9 yesterday. The older two had been up for a couple of hours. He's still sound asleep now.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 12/03/2017 07:58

Don't be afraid to put a few teddies in, my 13 month old is a little roamers as well but it's no problem. He happily sits in his cot playing with them on his own when he wakes up

Ecureuil · 12/03/2017 08:00

Until they started yelling for me.

Ecureuil · 12/03/2017 08:00

Mine is 20 months and we don't have a monitor so I don't hear her until she starts shouting anyway!

sunshineandshow3rs · 12/03/2017 08:00

Until they shouted for me or cried.

Sometimes mine could lie there for half an hour muttering to herself or singing, in no way bothered about being in the cot.

I would doze in and out of sleep until she sounded angry and wanted to get out Grin

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 12/03/2017 08:01

At that age, DS1 would reach through the bars and grab books/ toys and entertain himself for a good while. I'd leave him to it until he sounded fed up.

DS2 would wake up and shout ""Mummy! Mummy!" and before I could get to him would shout, "SOMEWHAT!!! SOMEWHAT!!!" He thought that using my name was far more effective.

AtSea1979 · 12/03/2017 08:02

Leave her, they need to learn to entertain themselves.
But only just lowered the cot?! Shock you failed the PFB test I'm sure the book recommends doing this about 8 months ago!

sunshineandshow3rs · 12/03/2017 08:02

Also, mine stayed in a cot bed with the bars on until just before turning three years old.

Wasn't using the toilet fully yet so had nappies at night, never climbed, cot bars too high really for that.