Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave toddler in cot

71 replies

Applebite · 12/03/2017 07:18

Feel a bit daft asking this, but we only have one and she's rather a PFB, so would appreciate any thoughts!

How long would you leave an 18 month old DC to entertain themselves in their cot in the morning? We don't put any toys or books in the cot with her because she's quite restless and roams all over it in her sleep.

Until now we've always got up with her (which is brilliant when she's going through a 4.30am start phase!), because I was worried she could climb/fall out of the cot. But last night DP finally listened to me and dropped it to its lowest setting so now she can just get her chin over the top.

A friend says she leaves hers until 7am unless they are crying. I'd love a bit more sleep, but it feels a bit odd just to leave her by herself - how long do/did you leave yours to entertain themselves, assuming they aren't upset?

OP posts:
Original poster
Applebite · 12/03/2017 08:04

Ha - I didn't fail it. DP failed it by telling me repeatedly I was being ridiculous every time I nagged him!

OP posts:
NapQueen · 12/03/2017 08:04

Ds is 2y5m and still in his cot. His groclock is set to 7am so if he wakes before that he sings and plays in his cot. Since 18mo he has had the groclock and along with his muslin cloth (comforter) a Jellycat soft toy which he plays with.

If he cries before 7am we go to him, always have done, but no tears and its 7am.

NapQueen · 12/03/2017 08:06

Apple you could have just done it yourself.

Ecureuil · 12/03/2017 08:09

Cot bars should ideally be lowered as soon as they can crawl/pull themselves to standing, which in DD's case was around 8 months.
I lowered them Wink

monkeysox · 12/03/2017 08:15

What does the 3yo do when they need a wee?!

Mine were in toddler beds from about 20 months and would play with toys for a bit when they woke. Had baby gate on the room until they didn't have nappies at night (2.5 and 3.5)
Would not be starting the day at 430 Confused

NapQueen · 12/03/2017 08:18

Monkey presumably still in nappies? Lots of little ones arent dry in the night well past 3

MollyHuaCha · 12/03/2017 08:19

DC1 climbed out from around 18 months. Despite hurting himself, he did it repeatedly, so we had to quickly get him a bed. One day yours might suddenly discover climbing out too.

ineedwine99 · 12/03/2017 08:20

Until an upset cry, mines 7m and started waking at 5:30, i just mute the monitor and leave her chattering away, we can still hear her without the monitor so we know if she's really crying. If she fails to drop off after about 20 mins i put her light show on (feature of the monitor)

halfofme · 12/03/2017 08:20

I leave mine until 6.45 even if they are grizzling. They usually have a little sing to themselves and sometimes fall back asleep! If they are sick or crying I get them

Marcipex · 12/03/2017 08:25

Lol at SOMEWHAT!

My DS could vault over the top bar aged 2. If he'd stayed in I'd have left him unless he was crying.

Jenniferb21 · 12/03/2017 08:26

I would want to get up when they get up or after 10-15 minutes or so. Think a short amount of time is fine but with nothing in the cot I think it's a bit mean to leave them for hours. Unless they do go back to sleep?

If it were me I'd be happy to get up after 6am and maybe go to bed earlier if youd be really tired if that's an option.

But TBH I'm going back to work full time so I want every moment I can with DS if I was a SAHM I'd probably want my morning rest and wouldn't mind not spending that half hour or so extra playing with DS lol x (had a year off and think it's more tiring than going to work)

lornathewizzard · 12/03/2017 08:31

DD always shouted for me, and still does even though she's in a proper bed, she shouts first and then gets out. 'Mummy it's morning' was quite cute this morning.

She also never tries to climb out. We only moved her into a big bed at 2.5 to try to get her to want to stay in her own bed

StarlingMurderation · 12/03/2017 08:31

DS is also an early wakes, but starts crying and shouting for me as soon as he stirs. If he babbled or sang or laughed to himself, I'd leave him to it indefinitely! I'm always so envious of people whose toddlers just chat to themselves instead of screaming.

dementedpixie · 12/03/2017 08:31

I wouldn't have got up at 4.30am with them but would have encouraged them to go back to sleep. Leave until they are upset to encourage to self settle again.

Frazzledmum123 · 12/03/2017 08:42

I disagree that crying is a last resort myself, screaming or sobbing uncontrollably maybe but whinging is just a way of letting you know they are a bit fed up. I'd also leave them until they whinge or call you, both my older two would chat to themselves or sing for a bit and I loved listening to that. I also felt it was their way of waking up slowly like I like to and sort of getting their thoughts together ready for the day!

If you are worried then you could always buy a video monitor to keep an eye on them? We had one and I still use it now when the middle one is 3 Blush - I like to be able to see them but I know I'm a bit ott and will have to give that up soon!!

NerrSnerr · 12/03/2017 08:46

Our 2.5 year old will happily sing and play with her teddies in the cot and you can hear when she starts to get fed up.

toomuchtooold · 12/03/2017 08:46

I left mine till they yelled for me or until someone was crying - or till we needed to get up for work/nursery. Sometimes on the weekend they'd wake up and I'd hear them on the baby monitor chatting to each other while I was downstairs having my tea and checking mumsnet. One time the conversation went
"daddy did a wee wee in daddy's pants"
"AHAHAHAHAHA. Mummy did a wee wee in mummy's pants"
"AHAHAHAHAHA. Daddy..." etc It was brilliant. I was like ladies, I will take any slagging you like, so long as you stay in there till I finish my tea...

Original poster
Applebite · 12/03/2017 09:09

Er, no. Most people could have done it themselves, sure. I know my limitations and I would have no idea how to lower a cot. Even DP said it was v difficult unless you were over 6'. I have zero practical abilities, I can't read DIY instructions to save my life. I struggle even to fold up our sodding buggy and we've had it 18 months! I would have ended up in a towering rage surrounded by pieces of wood and screws.

OP posts:
Original poster
Applebite · 12/03/2017 09:12

(I think the being over 6' was necessary to reach both sides - poor DP is only 5'8 and he struggled, despite being v good at DIY stuff!)

OP posts:
StarlingMurderation · 12/03/2017 09:21

I wouldn't have got up at 4.30am with them but would have encouraged them to go back to sleep

How exactly do you encourage them to go back to sleep? I'd love to learn that trick.

Astoria7974 · 12/03/2017 09:23

Leave them in there. Though be prepared for her to figure out how to climb over the cot. Still figuring how dsd managed it at 18 months when the bar came over her head!

EdenX · 12/03/2017 09:25

You cannot get up at 4.30am, that's a night waking!

If a child wakes/calls you in the night, you pop in to reassure them, replace any dropped teddies/dummies and tell them it is sleep time. Then go back to bed!

StarlingMurderation · 12/03/2017 09:28

Really, Eden?! And what if they keep screaming? And sobbing? And wailing 'Mummy, mummy!' Do you just ignore them?

Writerwannabe83 · 12/03/2017 09:33

Really, Eden?! And what if they keep screaming? And sobbing? And wailing 'Mummy, mummy!' Do you just ignore them?

No, you just go in every minutes, reassure them, tell them it's still night time and leave again.

If DS ever woke before 6am then I treated it like a night waking and continued to do so until the time came where it was acceptable for him to get up. There's no way on this earth I'd be encouraging/allowing my DS to start his day at 4.30am Shock

Olympiathequeen · 12/03/2017 09:41

We had a toy activity centre that fixes to the side of the cot and would hear this being played with at 5 am and ignore it. Then it would go quiet as he went back off to sleep and eventually woke at 7 or 8 so it was the best option for us sleeping.

Swipe left for the next trending thread