To leave toddler in cot

[Applebite]

Feel a bit daft asking this, but we only have one and she's rather a PFB, so would appreciate any thoughts!

How long would you leave an 18 month old DC to entertain themselves in their cot in the morning? We don't put any toys or books in the cot with her because she's quite restless and roams all over it in her sleep.

Until now we've always got up with her (which is brilliant when she's going through a 4.30am start phase!), because I was worried she could climb/fall out of the cot. But last night DP finally listened to me and dropped it to its lowest setting so now she can just get her chin over the top.

A friend says she leaves hers until 7am unless they are crying. I'd love a bit more sleep, but it feels a bit odd just to leave her by herself - how long do/did you leave yours to entertain themselves, assuming they aren't upset?

My DD will be 3 next week. I leave her in her cot until either I can hear her chattering away and I'm ready to get her up or she starts shouting/crying. I also leave her to her own devices if she wakes up in the middle of the night and starts singing or chatting to her teddies. There's no way on earth I'd be getting up at 4.30 unless she were ill or upset.

Up to you if you ignore or keep returning or bring into your bed, but surely no one actually gets up in the middle of the night with a baby/toddler?

I remember using 'wake to sleep' on one of mine. You disturb their sleep before the usual wake up time and it helps reset wale up time. I also got fairy lights for dd and gradually set them to come on later and later and she couldn't disturb us before they came on. With ds we used an alarm clock and he wasn't to disturb us until it said 7:00 (digital clock and he knew those numbers).

No way was I starting my day before 6am!

4.30 is not a time to get up. At 18 months they can be told to go back to sleep. I always left them til they yelled.

Is there anything else you've been nagging your DP about because the cot thing is a bit feeble. She could easily have fallen out.

Eden - we do bring her into our bed. She does not go back to sleep - she thinks it's play time! She lies still for about 5 mins and then crawls over me to get to the lamp, water bottle etc that she knows live next to me (she never goes for her father's stuff ). she's then up for the day and as she only ever naps for about 20-40 mins during the day, we can't reduce that any more. She also wakes up at the same time no matter what time we put her to bed - we've tried before 7 and after 7! To be fair it's not every day. She varies between 4.30 and 6.30, with about 5.30 being the average.

Now I am comfortable she can't climb or overbalance out of the cot I am going to try the idea of a jelly cat toy and leaving her unless she's upset!

Until they cry - they'll let you know when you're needed! It's good for everyone to spend a bit of time entertaining themselves. Babies and children included.

No, DP was just adamant that I was being paranoid and she couldn't possibly have got out - it's a silvercross sleigh cot, so it is high; he may well have been right. It just worried me. He's really good and does most things around the house (he is the SAHP and I work v long hours), so honestly he's not feeble

When my lo was in his cot, we'd leave him until he started crying. If he woke up and was happy we'd leave him.
Now he's in his toddler bed, he still just sits there chattering away to himself.

Eden you must be blessed with good sleepers if you think no one gets up in the middle of the night with their babies! I can assure you some of us do. Some of is even stick them in a sling and go for a walk in the middle of the night it's not for the fun of it....

You must be unlucky enough to have exceptionally bad sleepers then welshgirl, getting up in the night is crazy and not good for anyone's sleep habits.

Tiny babies yes Welsh. Not 18 month year olds.

Eden - we do bring her into our bed. She does not go back to sleep - she thinks it's play time

I used to do this and DS would usually go straight back to sleep but then he hit an age where as far as he was concerned that if he was taken out of his cot/room then it meant it was time to start the day and that's why I stopped doing it

Anything before 6am is considered a night waking here too.

I would echo PPs who say until she cries out for you. She's just a little human and if I woke up and someone dragged me out of bed straight away I wouldn't like it, maybe she's the same and just likes to relax in bed once she's awake. She'll let you know when she wants to get out

I don't go and get DD until she cries or shouts mummy. When she starts stirring I get up and get myself ready for the day because she's a clingy thing in the mornings and it would take forever otherwise. I can be showered, dressed and hair and make up done before getting her most mornings.

Until he gets upset. He wakes about 6.15 and on a good day will talk to his teddies/sing for about 30 mins then we pop on with milk and dump 5 books in his cot and come back once showered about 30 mins later. It's good for them to learn to entertain themselves

I don't go and get DD until she cries or shouts mummy. When she starts stirring I get up and get myself ready for the day because she's a clingy thing in the mornings and it would take forever otherwise. I can be showered, dressed and hair and make up done before getting her most mornings

Yeah I used to do this too, it made the mornings so much easier!

Definitely leave if they're fine!!

I only got mine up when they cried. They could spend ages happily babbling away!

Stayed in the cot until nearly 3yo until one day they just climbed out and appeared in our room. Shock of my life!! Transformed it into a bed that day

Writer, that didn't work with DS. We'd go in and reassure til the cows came home, but he never went back to sleep. If he wakes in what he considers 'the night', all it takes is a quick hug, and off he'd go. We sleep trained using controlled crying and he very quickly started going to bed without a murmur. But once he's decided it's getting up time, that's it. If we bring him in bed with us, he wails until we switch on the light - "Dark, Mummy, dark! Light on please!" We have tried everything, and nothing works. It's all very well when people say, "4.30 is the middle of the night." Or "I just wouldn't get up" but they obviously have more malleable children than DS.

This will possibly out me, because there really can't be anyone else in the world in this situation, but right next to DD's bed is an old metal filing cabinet (don't ask!!)

Usually she is pretty good at entertaining herself and we ignore low level whinging and crying. But, my god, you can't ignore a 2.5 year old banging on the side of a filing cabinet and shouting "MUUUUUMMMMMYYYY"

starling "....that didn't work with DS. We'd go in and reassure til the cows came home, but he never went back to sleep. If he wakes in what he considers 'the night', all it takes is a quick hug, and off he'd go. We sleep trained using controlled crying and he very quickly started going to bed without a murmur. But once he's decided it's getting up time, that's it."

Don't get me wrong, sometimes it would take 30-45 minutes of going in and out to him before he eventually realised he wasn't coming out of his cot and so he'd go back to sleep. My DS's sleep had been HORRENDOUS so I'd used a Sleep Consultant to fix the problems and she always said until 6am comes you treat every waking as though he'd woken in the night and employ the same tactics that we'd used when we'd done the initial sleep training - which we did using controlled crying as well.

It was different if he was unwell of course but otherwise I just persevered with me and DH taking it in turns to go back into him. The way we saw it was that if we took him out of his cot and bought him into his room then he was awake for the day so as hard as it was going in and out for 30-45 minutes at least we knew at some point we'd all be getting some more sleep when he eventually gave up