Presents from exes.

[TheGreenQueen]

Do you keep old cards and gifts from exes that are purely sentimental? How do you feel about partners keeping things from exes?

No, I don't feel sentimental about presents/cards from exes because I haven't stayed friends with any of them. I've kept things I like but not because of any memories.

I have stuff from my ex and so does DH.

I approach it very rationally- it was all before DH met me and it doesn't detract from our relationship or our love at all. However, a few times over the years when I've had particularly bad PMT, I've stewed on it and it's made me a bit jealous (not jealous, just a weird feeling). I've never looked at the stuff because I'm not massively interested and it's personal to DH.

My DH is less rational. When we moved in together he wanted to see everything from the ex. I should have told him no but DH and ex had a weird relationship- DH absolutely hated him and ex had said some really awful things about DH. Anyway, I let him see it all and basically DH took the piss out of us both for how pathetic we were. We were only teenagers! Anyway, I said I was keeping it and we've not mentioned it since.

I should say, all the stuff I've kept is stuff that's part of other stuff (e.g. photo albums of loads of people/events but ex happens to be there) or that I like. I haven't kept love letters from him or any bullshit like that.

Ex bought me a diamond ring which I hid from DH years and years ago in my mum's house. I have no idea where it is now!

Sentimental things, I think personally it's odd to keep them, but I appreciate others wouldn't necessarily feel the same. I don't know if my DP has sentimental type gifts from his ex or not.

Depends on the ex. I have stuff from my teenage/student boyfriends. DP went through an acrimonious divorce so funnily enough doesn't have anything sentimental left over from that she still wears her engagement and wedding rings though. Wonder what her partner of 3 years thinks

The only thing I think I've received is a book of poetry, which I kept (no inscription or anything). Why would I throw away a perfectly good book?
Don't know if my partner has anything, but he wouldn't let me throw out a really disgusting holey old tshirt because he was wearing it when he had his first kiss! (when he was in his teens)
I don't have a problem with the sentiment, just the disgusting tshirt!

I have jewelry from him, but that's it. And it isn't special jewelry. I'm not sentimental though.

I've kept practical stuff but binned everything else. Eg I've kept DVDs but not cards etc.

DH still has his old wedding ring. We bought his ex out and are converting our attic so it's filled with all their photos, anniversary cards etc. I find it really hard. But I don't want to tell him to get rid that wouldn't be right. Just wasn't sure if I was being unfair feeling this way.

(I think I'm just insecure. He's 25 years older so has a big past I don't and I always feel second best as second wife. He and his ex wife don't get on at all. I met him 4 years after they split, she is remarried. He also doesn't do the same gestures for me he did for her. I just find it hard him having such a big past. I haven't told him it's my issue.)

I've kept the photo album ex gave me for my 21st, and a couple of necklaces he got me that I really like. I'm not sure DH is actually aware ex got me the necklaces. But ex was a massive part of my life for four years while I was at uni, and we didn't part on bad terms and still chat quite happily if we meet eg at friends' weddings - I'd feel weird expunging everything he'd got me!