To think that people living on welfare shouldn't be running off every five minutes for a new tattoo or piercing?

[allfurcoatandnoknickers1]

I'm probably going to get shot down for this, but I just had a little disagreement with a woman I know. She posted a photo on Facebook of a rather large tattoo on her forearm that she'd just had done. Last month she had skin divers put in her chest and hand. The month before she had another shit tattoo.
This individual is single and has two children. She hasn't worked a day in the last decade, but is living off the state. Am I being a bitch by thinking she should spend the money she receives on feeding the children and keeping a roof over their heads? I noted that she feeds her boys Pot Noodle for dinner but makes sure she's got her fags too. It just annoys me.

nceccoli I am reporting your post. You are judging a woman who had children with an abuser. You are putting your escape as an example of how we should all behave. You are stating, very clearly that you managed to get out at 22 and we should all do as you did. Well, for whatever reason, we didn't. I really think you need to take a step back and think about how you are making women who have been abused feel.

Thank you Dawn. I couldn't put into words how I feel having read that post. It has made me feel terrible that I didn't leave. And that I already had a child. And had more. As a result of rape.

Empathy. Understanding. Clearly too much to ask.

I am not saying if I did it everyone else has to. I am saying it can be done.

And how exactly would you have suggested I do it?

Literally weeping at the sheer number of women who will abuse other women. Literally no condemnation whatsoever of the men who abuse us. It is desperate.

Well this thread is just full of perfect people who look down on others for not being as great as them in overcoming adversity, isn't it?

So much for "walking a mile in someone else's shoes" creating empathy and understanding.

nceccoli good for you.

Sadly having lived through what you did clearly didn't teach you humility, empathy or compassion which is a real shame.

Anne - it is completely not a reflection on you. Having your experiences minimised and gaslighted away by people who lack intelligence, insight and empathy is incredibly hurtful but you know the truth and the journey so many of us have travelled.

I challenge such vacuous individuals to walk just one day in your shoes - I doubt they'd be standing for long.

why is it a woman's fault to avoid rape/beatings/gaslighting? why is it not a man's responsibility to not be a rapist/beater/gaslighter?

Who says I do not condemn the men who carry out abuse?

nceccoli
Yes, it can be done. I am educated beyond Post Grad level. It still took me over 20 years. Stop digging, apologise and leave the thread.

For all who have been through this. We are strong. We do not have to justify our actions.

Thank heavens then, Redpoll that 90% of the population don't think as you do.
Perhaps you'd like to borrow the book I bought out of my benefit monies yesterday, it probably reflects my class, it's well written, grammatically correct and a rather interesting literary read. Unlike your posts...

Holy fuck. Redpoll

You see it all how you are brought or dragged up

Yes, you're just lovely.

Oh sorry Redpoll, I nodded off there. OTT goady rubbish tends to have that effect on me.

How do you tattoo a step Redpoll?

Nothing more self satisfying than fascism, is there, redpoll?

Thank god 90% of the population aren't fascist ignormauses.

We pay 47% tax BTW. And are happy to do so, is much rather go after the tax dodging billionaires that we do love to accommodate in this country - I'm sick of paying taxes to line the pockets of the rich.

My step is covered in tattoos, Anne, looks good.

Agree with OP. I have to go to work 12 hours a day 6 times a week for an okayish wage and some people get money for free? at least spend in a way that means you're saving or eventually (if you are physically / mentally able) getting a new job.

Well Dawndonnaagain, maybe 90% of the population doesn't think like Redpoll bit sufficient percentage are tired of the feckless, lazy benefit class to the point that they are voting in a party that is promising to strip all those benefits down to absolute minimum and beyond. The ones who suffer are the disabled and ill who are caught in the net by association.

Redpoll

Thats very interesting.
But it fails to address the problem of men walking out and leaving their family to manage.
Or men who rape and women not being able to get an abortion.
Or people dying leaving bereaved partner and children.

When you have solved those types of problems you can put penalties in place for non compliance. But not before; otherwise there is no benefit for people who comply but have bad luck and find themselves on the wrong side of the fence.
When people try and fail because the system is set up to make them fail, they give up trying.

nceccoli I am aware of that, I am both disabled and a carer.

That's a point.

I can't (and definitely couldn't 19 years ago) get an abortion on the NHS. My ex controlled all the money and no way would he pay for a private one.

What option did I have? Please can someone tell me?