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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think that people living on welfare shouldn't be running off every five minutes for a new tattoo or piercing?

999 replies

allfurcoatandnoknickers1 · 09/03/2017 17:02

I'm probably going to get shot down for this, but I just had a little disagreement with a woman I know. She posted a photo on Facebook of a rather large tattoo on her forearm that she'd just had done. Last month she had skin divers put in her chest and hand. The month before she had another shit tattoo.
This individual is single and has two children. She hasn't worked a day in the last decade, but is living off the state. Am I being a bitch by thinking she should spend the money she receives on feeding the children and keeping a roof over their heads? I noted that she feeds her boys Pot Noodle for dinner but makes sure she's got her fags too. It just annoys me.

OP posts:
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13
Alfieisnoisy · 10/03/2017 06:51

Blimey Redpoll, you are charming aren't you?

Anyone who uses the term "breed" shows they not only read the Daily Mail but evidently insert it up their arse afterwards. ...just my opinion.

Please show us your statistics which "prove people breed for benefits". Am sure we will all be enlightened by those. Or are you talking ideological bollocks?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 10/03/2017 06:53

But chances are she can afford them but just doesnt take the kiddies maybe because she isnt a confieent swimmer heself or doesnt like.pools or kids arent swimmers who knows.

I'm not a confident swimmer. I nearly drowned when I was a child. Despite spending most of last year in and out of hospital, at a recent assessment I had my ESA cut even with all the medical evidence I took in.
I still pay for my DDs swimming lessons.

MaisyPops · 10/03/2017 06:57

The disagreement came about because she was moaning that she couldn't afford swimming lessons for her kids. I was just on my way to the pool with my daughter when this happened and she couldn't see the irony of flashing her new tattoo whilst moaning about being skint.

Nothing to do with her income/benefits status.
Its someone complaining about not having money for the bairns whilst spending a fortune on herself for non-essentials.
Make take is pend your money on what you like, but dont conplain you cant afford seimming because fags and tattoos were more important to you.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 10/03/2017 06:58

It statistically known that people breed in the UK for benefits, nothing else.

Actually the statistics show that higher number of claims for child related benefits are made by those IN work. It's all there on the HMRC website.

Ignoring how crass the breeding comment is, supposing there are some people out there who probably did have babies just for the extra £50 a week. The government have already addressed this by introducing the 2 child cap. So your point is a bit moot really.

Alfieisnoisy · 10/03/2017 07:04

Haha! You are fucking hilarious! Have a word with yourself. Get a grip ffs. Tattoos and body art are not your God given right. If you want it, go out and EARN IT like the rest of us. You are utterly pathetic, wanging on about you rights to spend your money how you see fit whilst leaching from the worker. Feckless. Pathetic. Selfish. Greedy. And you shouldn't be all

But you said further back that your thread wasn't about benefits. Here's the proof that it is exactly that.

Like I said further back, anyone who prioritises a tattoo over the needs of their children is a crap parent. How they pay for the tattoo is immaterial and many have pointed out here that benefits are unlikely to bring in enough for such an expensive tattoo. I couldn't afford to lay out such a large sum and I get extra benefits because my child is disabled. Well perhaps I could if I stopped buying food and heating the house...but then I would just be a crap parent.

YANBU is being irritated by the tattoo when this persons children miss out on essentials. You ARE being unreasonable to moan that she is on benefits....she may have other income you know nothing about. Money from her children's father perhaps, a bit of cash from relatives or friends which was Birthday money.

But you don't seem to want to consider any of those possibilities because this is about benefits isn't it? Your post above utterly proves that and is hysterical and angry. Because ...how dare they?

needsahalo · 10/03/2017 07:08

How much is a tatoo compared with a year's worth of swimming lessons, plus travel to and from the pool, anyway?

You are aware that not all benefits are flr the children, aren't you? That there is no expectation a mother on benefits doesn't eat?

And do be careful how you speak to people. I am a full time shortage-area teacher. But I am entitled to benefits still. Your insults are utterly vile and ignore the reality of many working families in this country today.

ClopySow · 10/03/2017 07:15

It statistically known that people breed in the UK for benefits, nothing else

Source?

ilovesooty · 10/03/2017 07:21

I expect the OP is sleeping it off now.

Lweji · 10/03/2017 07:31

Redpoll has a point. Why are people on benefits even allowed one child? Support yourself or be sterilised.
To include men.
I vote for a minimum reproductive wage.

Do you ever think about what you're saying? You and all the others complaining about people having babies and receiving benefits?

You complain. But think about the consequences of what you're saying. Propose fucking measures and then think about what they mean for society.
And pray that you never need to live off society.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 10/03/2017 07:39

It statistically known that people breed in the UK for benefits, nothing else

Really? I was working full time and so was my then cunt of a husband. He didn't start battering the shit out of me until I'd given birth, although the abuse began long before that. The benefits system quite literally saved my life, because he would have killed me eventually if I'd stayed.
Of course there are piss takers who claim benefits, there are piss takers and arseholes in every walk of life, but to suggest that they are in the majority using words like feckless and lazy perpetuates a damaging and incorrect stereotype.
People are banging on about using taxpayers money when people haven't paid in to the system. My mum was a SAHM, and has done volunteer work for many years since we left home. When she got cancer she was treated on the NHS. Is she not entitled to that care? Because when you say things like that, using benefits as an example, that's pretty much what you are saying.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 10/03/2017 07:45

Redpoll has a point. Why are people on benefits even allowed one child? Support yourself or be sterilised.

Erm. I had my children before I fell ill. Shit happens. What do you want them to do? Hand them back to the state if they've ended up being on benefits for all manner of reasons?

Natsku · 10/03/2017 07:48

Lweji was being sarcastic there

Lweji · 10/03/2017 07:48

AwaywiththePixies27

Read the rest of my post. Smile

Phoebesgift · 10/03/2017 07:50

If tattoo mum does have an extra income, money from family to pay for said tattoos, surely she should be using the money to buy food and essentials for her kids? Benefits or not, she sounds like a shit parent.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 10/03/2017 07:51

The person I know of who has the largest amount of children is still receiving CTC and WTC and the childcare help etc for them all despite being in work.

Do those who propose sterilisation think she should be sterilised too? Or are her benefits okay because she's in work?

I think regardless of your views on benefits if you're for or against, it's pretty fucking vile to call for sterilisation on a site that's primarily aimed at women and most certainly isn't in the spirit of Mumsnet.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 10/03/2017 07:53

Lweji I did. Sorry. Brew

I was on about all the other holier than thous who obviously dont claim ANYTHING off the state. Wink

AwaywiththePixies27 · 10/03/2017 07:55

I dont get why your facebook friends with her OP. If you hate her that much why not just delete her?

I mean if you count yourself as her friend, I'd hate to meet her actual enemies.

LakieLady · 10/03/2017 07:56

Even animals who have been abused react and become wary,distrustful, defensive. You have to really wonder about people who refuse to exercise basic animal instinct to protect themselves after bad experience.

If you check out Zoe Lodrick's work on trauma bonding, you'll totally get why this happens.

Here's an article that might help.

www.zoelodrick.co.uk/training/article-1

Owlzes · 10/03/2017 08:09

You have to really wonder about people who refuse to exercise basic animal instinct to protect themselves after bad experience.

Really? Wonder what?

It statistically known that people breed in the UK for benefits, nothing else

Citation needed.

LakieLady · 10/03/2017 08:29

People need to be controlled on every aspect of what they do if not conforming to the social expectations of the hard working classes

Holy shit.

Lol. For a horrible moment I thought I'd been transported to North Korea when I read that.

Mind you, it'd be quite fun to control the behaviour of rich fuckers who spend their money on things like Swarovski crystal bathtubs and superyachts. Wink

nceccoli · 10/03/2017 08:46

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LouKout · 10/03/2017 08:47

That is seriously out of order.

ClopySow · 10/03/2017 09:05

Seriously out of order.

Owlzes · 10/03/2017 09:07

People need to be controlled on every aspect of what they do if not conforming to the social expectations of the hard working classes

I guess that'll be the opera being outlawed then.

Lweji · 10/03/2017 09:07

So yes I can judge and will judge.

Actually, you can't judge. As a great man once said: let those without sin throw the first stone. Great words to live by.