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AIBU?

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To think that people living on welfare shouldn't be running off every five minutes for a new tattoo or piercing?

999 replies

allfurcoatandnoknickers1 · 09/03/2017 17:02

I'm probably going to get shot down for this, but I just had a little disagreement with a woman I know. She posted a photo on Facebook of a rather large tattoo on her forearm that she'd just had done. Last month she had skin divers put in her chest and hand. The month before she had another shit tattoo.
This individual is single and has two children. She hasn't worked a day in the last decade, but is living off the state. Am I being a bitch by thinking she should spend the money she receives on feeding the children and keeping a roof over their heads? I noted that she feeds her boys Pot Noodle for dinner but makes sure she's got her fags too. It just annoys me.

OP posts:
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ShoutOutToMyEx · 09/03/2017 21:51

Women have contributed towards their domestic violence relationships?

Yeah, didn't you know? Everything is the woman's fault. Even when she's getting the shit kicked out of her on a daily basis, she should remember that she could have prevented such a situation by looking in her crystal ball.

Lweji · 09/03/2017 21:54

Could it buy something like this?

At least it would put the children off swimming and they'd never feel they were missing out.

kittybiscuits · 09/03/2017 21:54

I've reported nceccoli's disgusting post!

Lweji · 09/03/2017 21:56

And the state of course is supposed to keep providing the funds to support them and their children.

What do you suggest?

Alfieisnoisy · 09/03/2017 21:57

Am I the only one wondering what sort of tattoo £165 gets you? I wouldn't know as don't have any

My nieces and nephews (some of them anyway) have tattoos as it seems to be a young person fad....the oldest niece is just beginning to regret some of hers Grin She is teacher training in a secondary school and now trying to find the right person to remove the very ill advised one she had done on her right forearm.

I know they are not cheap....certainly the type of tattoo which OP has described will be expensive.

PortiaCastis · 09/03/2017 21:57

Good kitty I'm really upset about it as I suffered violence myself

Draylon · 09/03/2017 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrossCountryRunner · 09/03/2017 21:59

nceccoli

You are a bit thick aren't you?

Dontactlikeyouknowme · 09/03/2017 21:59

That post was disgusting and I hope that poster gets banned.

PortiaCastis · 09/03/2017 22:00

I don't think that poster has had her arm broken by a man.

kittybiscuits · 09/03/2017 22:00

Don't presume to tell me how I feel or what I can do. Thanks

ShoutOutToMyEx · 09/03/2017 22:00

Even animals who have been abused react and become wary,distrustful, defensive. You have to really wonder about people who refuse to exercise basic animal instinct to protect themselves after bad experience.

Abusive men have a finely tuned radar to seek out this kind of woman - those who are vulnerable, who are distrusting, who have never been loved in a healthy way.

And they do everything right, they're perfect, everything you dreamed of - up until they throw that first punch, or knock your boiling tea all over you, or smash up your phone, or they first put their hands round your neck.

And of course by then, they've made sure it's not as simple as just leaving. You have kids together, a home, a life. And even if you did leave, they know where you work, where the kids go to school, where your mum lives. They'd find you and it'd be worse than ever before.

They've also made damn sure you know it's all your own fault. That something about you makes men do this. After all, it's happened before, hasn't it?

PortiaCastis · 09/03/2017 22:01

Well the fucking court said I was a victim!!!!!!!!!!!

nceccoli · 09/03/2017 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SootyShearwater · 09/03/2017 22:01

What part of the OP was a sensible discussion sooty?
It was a slagging off. Not a discussion.

If you genuinely believe that, you could have tried to bring it round to a sensible discussion, not turned it into a farce with stupid comments.

Lweji · 09/03/2017 22:01

Never mind men who beat and abuse women and keep having children with them. And nothing happens to them
It's the women's fault, of course.

Alfieisnoisy · 09/03/2017 22:02

Just read that post....all opinion until that last bit. Who cares if the men are irresponsible arseholes as they don't claim as many benefits.AngryAngryAngryAngryShockShockShock

Victim blaming and apologist for male abusers all in one post. Impressive...and sad.

nceccoli · 09/03/2017 22:03

Not my arm PortiaCastis, but my rib. Is that enough for you?

Lweji · 09/03/2017 22:03

What do you suggest, nceccoli, then?

SootyShearwater · 09/03/2017 22:03

It depends on whether you care about the children or are just indignant that your taxes are apparently paying someone else's tattoos.

Lweji, do I actually have to point out that it's possible to be both? Hmm

bunnylove99 · 09/03/2017 22:03

Draylon . Yes, I agree with you completely actually. My point was that, as a mother I would always spend on my children ahead of myself. I just wanted to make that point without getting involved in the very heated argument about benefits. It's been a long day and I don't have the strength. .lol. I agree with you though 100%. I have no respect for the work-shy. My DH and I both work, always have and I can't imagine a situation where I wouldn't choose to work in preference to claiming benefits (assuming it possible for me to work. I know plenty can't due to poor health/caring responsibilities etc).

PortiaCastis · 09/03/2017 22:05

I already had children before he raped me and I fell pregnant again and I still live in fear of that man.

Lweji · 09/03/2017 22:05

Lweji, do I actually have to point out that it's possible to be both?

You seem to be missing that the OP doesn't give a shit about the children other than to slap off this person. She isn't asking how the children can be helped.

nceccoli · 09/03/2017 22:05

Men who abuse women or assualt them should be punished by law of course. But this discussion is about benefits and irresponsibility. Not about whether the law provides adequate punishment for domestic abuse (it does not).

PortiaCastis · 09/03/2017 22:06

Well don't bring it up then