To ask him to come home?

[desperatetimesss]

NC here. I'll try not to waffle.

DD is 5mo and seems to acquire a new problem daily - she had tongue tie that wasn't picked up for quite some time, has severe reflux (that she's on medication for), has been on a breastfeeding strike since coming down with a cold four weeks ago, is refusing to take a bottle and the latest is that she will not settle in her cot and last night I had to hold her all night as she would not even be put down in the bed next to me.

DH has been very helpful this week - coming home early yesterday, holding her from 11pm until 1am last night so I could get 2 hours precious sleep and taking her for a walk this morning for another hour and being late to work so I could have another nap.

Tonight he's out a whisky tasting and I'm out of my mind with worry as DD looks dehydrated (although I'm still finding wet nappies), seems so, so thirsty and yet I can hardly get a drop of milk into her. I'm currently cradling her in the dark hoping she'll just keep sleeping. We're living in a foreign country where I have no family or close friends to call on.

I know IABU as he has done his fair share and needs a break too, but I can't face tonight alone. Thoughts?

Tell how you feel about being alone with your sick baby. Have you been to the doctor's with her?

Tell him

Yes, she saw a paediatrician yesterday who upped her meds, but then last night was dreadful. I've spoken to a nurse who reckons she's hungry and assures me the baby won't starve herself, but four weeks of this and the ribs are sticking out of her chest. The paed reckons she hasn't wanted to feed because of reflux pain but she's just been gnawing and gnawing on my right breast (will not take the left) and seems like she does want more, there's just nothing there. She's asleep in my arms now and there's 10 hours until daybreak. I'm not sure how I can get through this. Sorry to rant on, it's just a relief to get it out!

Tell him, my dh would have wanted to come home and would have been annoyed if I didn't let him know one of the dcs was ill.

Thattime he's already aware of the situation but I feel awful that he has been looking forward to this for weeks and needs to get away from the baby too. The reality is really hard though. DD is awake again and my right nipple feels like it's being attacked with a cheese grater.

I'd try and let him have another hour or two at his event, then ask him to come home.

Could you try holding her a different way on the left breast, eg the rugby ball hold so she maybe gets tricked into thinking it's the right? Probably won't help, but worth a try!

Aye thank you but I've tried it and no five, she just pushed it away and got upset!

Dice, not five!

Can you express a bit and syringe feed her with one of the ones that come with baby medicine? Could help your boobs to have a wee break.

I nannied a little boy who was an absolute bottle refuser...it got to the point where we had no choice but to syringe milk into his mouth-he was hospitalised with dehydration at one point-held him as if he was about to breastfeed but held arm down and just syringed it in...it wasn't ideal...in fact it was pretty awful but it did the trick and a week later he started taking milk from a beaker...not a lot but enough to see him through until weaning!

I agree with the syringing or even spooning milk into her mouth. Express and allow her to chew on cheap bottles too, the hole in the teat is usually bigger and it just runs out.
If she has wet nappies then try and rest assured that she isn't dehydrated. Must be such a worry for you and keep going back to the dr if you are worried

I had thought about syringing so thanks for the suggestion. I used to have a huge oversupply but it has dwindled so much since she went on strike and since she hardly sleeps I have no time to express. I have about 50ml in the fridge - the rest went into the failed bottles - so I'll use that if I get desperate. It's something at least.

Yes. Call him. Maybe also call ooh.

On a purely practical level, with the 'wont take the right', do you know why? Have you tried holding her differently ('top boob' lying down or rugby hold maybe?) When DS refused one side it was because of an ear infection - lying the right way to access one boob was really hurting him. By swapping the way I fed him he could feed without pain. I hope that helps.

do you have one of those mesh food feeders? Try freezing some BReast milk in an ice cube tray and popping one in for her to suck on and chew...or put the milk on an ice cube tray then sit a dummy on top (with the teat in the milk) and freeze so she can hold it and suck on it

Or even just freezing it in cubes, sitting her I front of a tray with them on and let her play...a good amount will probably end up in her from sucking them and off her fingers

So that you are not wasting breastmilk could you use formula in the bottle to try and get her used to it?

Breast milk or formula will work with both

TBH if you're worried about dehydration I'd go to hospital asap better to go and not need any intervention than not go and kick yourself afterwards

Any means of getting the food into her is fine, OP. Syringe it or dribble it into her mouth. Keep trying the bottle - as she gets more hungry it will look more appealing. Soak the teat in warm water to soften it (don't forget to let it cool before offering it to her).

I would ask him to come home after an hour. Sick baby trumps his night out - I don't see you getting a night out.

IHopeYouStep I've never heard of those, thank you. Too late for tonight but I'll give it a whirl first thing.

And my MIL weaned her kids without bottles. Straight from breast to a beaker.

My dd went through a phase of only feeding from one side (I called it 'bad boob') but would feed from the other if we were both lying down. Good luck, sounds horrendous.

Poor you. Yes to using beakers, my kids have never used bottles.
Do you have Lansinho for your sore nipples? Cold compress helps too. Hope you get a break soon.

ATruth I'm not sure why tbh. She's always shown a preference for the right but after she got sick it's the only one she'll accept. I've tried rugby hold, walking her around (sometimes works), side-lying... I've even been known to dangle it over her while she's playing! All the "official" advice I'm getting seems to be, don't push a feed on her. But in the next breath, oh she's fallen another percentile, you need to get on that. I've actually paid the equivalent of a Norland Nanny to come round tomorrow and get her on a bottle but I'm dreading it. I love breastfeeding my DD but it's probably not worth all this, is it?