To ask him to come home?

[desperatetimesss]

NC here. I'll try not to waffle.

DD is 5mo and seems to acquire a new problem daily - she had tongue tie that wasn't picked up for quite some time, has severe reflux (that she's on medication for), has been on a breastfeeding strike since coming down with a cold four weeks ago, is refusing to take a bottle and the latest is that she will not settle in her cot and last night I had to hold her all night as she would not even be put down in the bed next to me.

DH has been very helpful this week - coming home early yesterday, holding her from 11pm until 1am last night so I could get 2 hours precious sleep and taking her for a walk this morning for another hour and being late to work so I could have another nap.

Tonight he's out a whisky tasting and I'm out of my mind with worry as DD looks dehydrated (although I'm still finding wet nappies), seems so, so thirsty and yet I can hardly get a drop of milk into her. I'm currently cradling her in the dark hoping she'll just keep sleeping. We're living in a foreign country where I have no family or close friends to call on.

I know IABU as he has done his fair share and needs a break too, but I can't face tonight alone. Thoughts?

Can you try formula as well. Breastfeeding isnt everything. Dont beat yourself up x

If no beaker try the top off one of the bottles

I've not got any other advice, but I wanted to tell you you're doing brilliantly

Hang on in there

Hello, you sound like you are doing an amazing job

As DD is 5 months, would you feel comfortable spoon feeding her baby rice or porridge mixed with your breast milk? At least you know she isn't going hungry and it's an easier way of getting milk inside her

My DS refuses the right breast. According to my HV they prefer the breast which is closer to your heartbeat.
In case a cup hasn't worked, have you tried different bottle types? My LO wouldn't take anything and in desperation to feed him my right boobie milk I'd expressed I tried a sample MAM bottle and he latched onto it. Worth trying a few different makes of bottle if you haven't already.
I hope it all works out for you and you get a boobie break soon xx

Glad you got some sleep, op! Yay for dh coming home and helping out. Sounds like you have a good one there. Just wanted to mention that ds1 had a tongue tie that was cut when he was about 5 days old. It didn't work properly and haD to be done again at about 4 weeks, I think (can't remember exactly, he's 5 yo now). He never did that well at bf, I'd say because of tongue tie. I'd say get it looked at again, it could well be affecting how your dd is feeding. Also, hv told me ds2 had a lip tie. It never affected his feeding but if your dd has one it may affect her combined with her reflux. I wonder too whether bottle feeding may be better in the long run as you could hold her more upright to feed too. Just a few random thoughts! Good luck and I hope you find the best way to feed her.

Thanks again everyone. I wonder if there is a tongue tie issue - there seems to be a fair bit of milk in me this morning but she's only snacking and won't take it, and my nipple looks "chomped" afterwards. I've taken your advice on board and just cleaned out the baby shop of teats, beakers, formula etc. The lady at the counter said, "Ooh, she looks like she's asleep with her eyes open." I didn't cry but I wanted to! Going to ride it out until the nanny comes this afternoon. She's already ordered me to make myself scarce!

I hope she feeds soon! If you are worried get a second opinion. I second syringe feeding and inbetween if she's refusing to feed try to pump to keep up your supply. Fennel and oats are good for helping increase your supply too.

My babies both refused boob when they had an ear infection because sucking was painful. They also both refused when teething badly. I used to rock them until very very nearly asleep then latch them on and generally they did if really sleepy.

Domesticgoddess thanks and I have asked about this but I'm assured she hasn't got an ear infection and isn't teething. She pulls at her ears a lot and I pointed this out (she has drawn blood before) but the doctor told me babies just explore with their hands and it's all normal. She's still refusing to go down in her cot and just wants to be held constantly. I can't do that all day and night! I've just got her down in the Moses basket but come this close to shaking her as she was hysterical in my arms and was smacking me in the face. I've never got to that point before and am wondering whether I should even wait for this nanny and instead go to the doctors and refuse to leave.

Oh my goodness
You poor woman.
Lack of sleep, reflux, boob refuser, hungry etc etc
Brings it all back! See what the nanny equivalent says.
Consider a formula top up.
If she's dropping centiles SERIOUSLY consider formula (been here, would never go there again, I dropped to under 7st feeding an ill child in hospital because I was determined breast was best, it wasn't at that stage for us). lYou need sleep at this stage.
If underlying conditions have been ruled out then go with the nanny, see what baby thinks and so what works for you.

OP it sounds very tough - you are doing so well! For sleep (at least in the day) and to give you some respite from holding DD in your arms all the time, have you got a sling? DS was a sleep deprived mess at about this age and the sling was my saviour. I had to walk around and jig about a fair bit but at least my hands were free and he got decent daytime naps by hook or by crook.

Maybe take baby drs??? Its sounds like kidney/bladder infection? Ur focused entirely on the wrong thing. Ur baby is unwell. She clearly isnt getting better forget hubby and go dr

My little one started like this. She was 4 weeks old. Didnt sleep cried all night esp when layed on her bak or side. Wudnt eat or drink a few drops from desperation or dehydration or exhaustion then bak to crying. Eventually she lost all colour (usually olive tone turned grey!) Turned out she had kidney infection was admitted in to hospital an hr afterni visited a and e. Get her checked!!!

Did you get the TT treated? My DS had it and it massively impacted on his feeding, caused him to swallow wind and made him permanently uncomfortable. Getting it snipped and taking him to a chiro really really really helped.

Dontlaugh I wish I could give her formula but she won't take a bottle. Mrs I do have a baby carrier I can use, not a sling (she'll only be put upright anyway) so I'll try this for her next nap (we've had two today of 15 mins and 30 mins respectively - the 15 mins was in the car, usually a fail-safe option! Booshbeesh We've been down that road before, DD had a catheter put in at the hospital once for a suspected bladder infection. It wasn't, and very traumatic for us all.

Booshbeesh that sounds dreadful, hope your LO is OK now?

Have you considered a chiropractor or osteopath? It sounds like something is hurting - I don't know how it work but a Chiro worked wonders with two of my babies who were tearing me to shreds feeding and totally sorted out my older sons recurrent ear infections. I know some people don't believe in things like that - and I would have been one of them but it has honestly made such a difference for several of my kids and me too. It's worth a shot at least.

Dramalamma Yes she's been seen by a craniosacral osteopath. I wasn't sure what difference it would make but thought it was worth a shot! The first two sessions visibly helped her straighten but the last two seemed to make no impact whatsoever, so I stopped taking her - she hated it anyway and it cost a small fortune!