Honestly, to all intensive purposes you will thank me for this one day

[MutePoint]

I'm in no position to join the grammar police but some MNetters might be grateful to learn that

all intensive purposes should actually be: all intents and purposes

per say should be: per se

mute point should be: moot point

"If you don't eat your dinner now, it'll be clock cold," my mother would call out when I was little and too engrossed in something to eat (didn't happen often!).

I never understood it, but never questioned it.

turns out it's "clot cold." which DOES make sense!

Lots of people buy things from supermarket isles these days - the aisle hardly gets a mention anymore.

axed as in - asked a question, and tex-ed instead of texted are my bugbears,

though when MY grammar mistakes are pointed out I do softly whisper "there, they're, their, carm down deer"

Applebite Clot cold? Is that right? Well, I'll be buggered, it was always clap cold where I grew up in Yorkshire.

allegretto I hear lots of brides are walking down isles too and they can't all be destination weddings in the South Seas can they?

I literally died laughing reading this thread. [clunk]

My worst thing is when people verb nouns. Ridiculous!

ha, never heard of clap cold!

DF has some cracking Yorkshire phrases. The best one is "sitting around like cheese at fourpence" (for those who don't know, few people could afford the cheese that cost fourpence, hence it sitting around in the shop for some time!).

A terribly posh friend came to stay with me at his house recently and was accusing him of not opening the champagne quickly enough. He retorted, "You should have done it yourself, instead of sitting around like cheese at fourpence."

Utterly puzzled, she cocked her head to one side, and said, "What was that, darling? Sitting around like cheese at Fortnums?"

never has a phrase had its point missed so spectacularly!

textses instead of texts.

I brought a loaf of bread from the shop.

I was sat/ I was stood. ( I hate this. However, its use is so widespread they have even said it on the BBC news, so there is no hope!)

When I found out pantomine was actually pantomime my world was shook

Also fink, somefink and 'was you' as in ' was you going to the shop?'
Also I know above it looks like it should be 'shaken' but shook is a slang phrase used in this way.

Oh yes, and when they noun verbs or even worst make new 'improved' verbs and nouns instead of usaging ones that already existify. It's getting so you can't conversate with people anymore without them inventioning a new methodication of verbalating it.

Omg I just remembered 'discusting' 😂

OK, I'll fess up to something that I didn't learn until I was in my 20s.... my parents' preferred euphemism for a bowel movement was (I thought) "toos". It wasn't until I was at Uni and a friend said "gotta do a number two" that the penny dropped with a loud clang. It might have helped if my parents had referred to micturition as "one" or "number one", but no...... just "doing toos" so how was I to guess?

It's ok. I'll borrow you some money

Stabs self

The clot cold/clap cold thing is clay cold in the Newcastle region.

Discrete for discreet is everywhere these days.

Sorry, Riverdale, there's a phonemic explanation for that one.
It is impossible to say a voiced consonant (d / b / v / g / z etc) immediately after an unvoiced one (t / p / f / k / s) without either changing the pronounciation of one of your consonants or adding in an extra syllable.... so if you pronounced the "s" of disgust as an /s/ rather than a /z/, then it is physically impossible to pronounce that g as a /g/.... it just comes out as the equivalent unvoiced consonant /k/ (which you have spelled with a c like in custard).

Think about it, listen to how you actually pronounce things - walked is pronounced /kt/ at the end, not /kd/ for this reason.
Most of the time you don't even realise you're doing it - in the case of disgust it was a Romanian pupil who asked (/kt/) me why I pronounced (/kt/) the g as a c.... I'd never even thought about it.

If I'd of seed these mistakes I wouldn't of maid them. But I seen nuthin

@PeachyImpeachment Wed 08-Mar-17 15:46:51

I literally died laughing reading this thread. [clunk]

People who don't RTFT, and then suggest cancelling the cheque.

(See my post at 11:28 this morning)

My DP received an email from a client last week 'I'm feeling a bit skeptic all'

Meluzyna, I've just wasted five minutes solemnly saying "discussed" and "disgust" and there's a definite difference. I can't detect any difficulty in saying a g after an s when it's the beginning of a new syllable. In the same way, there wouldn't be a problem saying "This gate", for instance. Am I missing something?

@Megatherium
No problem with "this gate" - two words with a definite break which enables the sounds to be different.
If you're really interested try recording yourself or asking other people to say discussed / disgust.... it might depend on your accent, but it shouldn't.
Can you hear the /t/ at the end of walked and pronounced? (Slip of the finger in the original post - pronounced is obviously /st/, not /kt/.)
Are you pronouncing it like this?

Just spotted "studio appartment with tailer-made curtains"....aargh!

I only opened the thread to see how many people got annoyed with the title, I thought it was a serious thread. SO glad it wasn't, and is actually hilarious.

Oh cue instead of queue