I'm getting flamed for this but people who....

[ThisAintALoveSong]

Start every frigging statement or paragraph with the word 'so' as in 'so I was doing my shopping and I stubbed my toe blah blah'.

No. Just no.

Aibu or am I the only person who gets peeved reading posts and statuses like this? It doesn't isn't sound nice reading it out in my head. Do people talk like this in real life?

prepares to get flamed heavily

And the delivery normally has to include a head-tilt for added emphasis.

ALemonyPea oh my gosh I've just realised I am guilty of this exact posting crime on Facebook, and in text messages as well! I think I shall be paying more attention to what I type in future cos stuff like this bugs the hell out of me too...!

My DSis uses 'I'm not being funny but..............' Every time she says it or writes it, I want to slap her with a wet fish and say 'Yes, you are, you're just trying to minimise it'.....

cuppa there's a meme floating about which my husband finds very amusing -
'When your wife's opening line is - I'm not being funny but / I find it funny that.................. there's a 99.9% chance that nothing funny will follow at all. Abort abort!!!'

I've noticed a lot of "bare with me", "bare in mind" instead of "bear" which annoys me. It's the new "there, their,they're"!

So....

What's the problem?

ThefirstMrsDV - the trainer you mention, not in the NW is she? Either education or first aid?

Another one who can't bear 'so' at the beginning of sentences. I can't focus on what comes next over the foaming in my ears. Also, where has 'it was so fun!' suddenly popped up from? I find that equally irritating

I can't bear posts that begin with "Guys." Or "Guys!". It usually means some drivel trying to sound deep or wise or important will follow. I'm not one of your guys. Unfollow. You're dead to me.

No 3cats. There must be loads of them

This one is male and in SEN/Education

Another bugbear for me, which isn't an annoying phrase or addition to a sentence but seeing people mention Facebook reminded me of it; when people put a status or picture on there and then continue to add a million hashtags regarding the thing they have just told us about.
"Went to Costa coffee today and had an amazing toffee latte with my bestie! #costacoffee #today #bestie #bff #toffelatte #amazing #ihavenolife #lookatmeineedattention"

'I'm not being funny but...' invariably fills me with dread as I know it's going to be followed up with a complaint, usually a very PA one about something terribly personal.

well, I used so... in a thread title earlier - think trying not to be boring...

My pet hate is summed up in this:

DD is a tomboy, think tree climbing, nerf guns,

Nothing to do with the grammar, but she is not a frigging tomboy!! She is a girl, a perfectly ordinary one who likes trees and nerf guns. Why oh why do we still have anyone who thinks it is 'boyish' to like anything other than dolls.
Tomboys don't exist.
Girls exist, who like a wide range of things. None of which are exclusively the right of boys.

I have to confess to being guilty of starting the odd work email with a "so". I think it's a focus / attention thing...

My personal bugbear at the moment is "needs . Frequently spotted on Facebook selling sites, e.g. sofa needs rid or on here , e.g. baby needs fed. What have the words "to be" done to offend?!!

I have spent ALL day using most of these abominations. I blame this thread.

Daisy when I say "does that make sense" I invariably mean - "have I explained it well enough" and not "have you understood or are you too stupid?". What would you prefer someone say to get that sentiment across?

I think I might do this too.
I also think a lot of these tics are trying to convey a certain informal tone, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.