To have argued with this old lady over parking?

[PickettBowtruckle]

Yes there's a diagram (though a badly drawn iPad one!)

The blue squiggle at the top is me, in a marked bay. The red squiggle is her car, not in a space.

I live in a maisonette block that shares with a line of bungalows. The road has a name which we all share, so our address is number (block name), road, town. The bungalows are number, road, town. The parking is for residents of the road (so the block and bungalows) Sometimes parking can be tight and all the spaces are taken.

Still with me? The bungalow residents are elderly, whereas the block of houses are a mix. Some of the bungalow residents seems to have taken a liking to some spaces and have started to block you in if you park in the ones at the end nearest the bungalows.

When I parked there, it was the only space left. I'll usually park along the bottom line if there is space. Went out today and I'd been blocked in, despite there being plenty of other spaces around (colour squiggles indicate a car in the space!).

I sat and beeped until this old lady came out, came over and said 'there's no need to beep, you could have just knocked on doors' I said I didn't think it'd be very productive to knock on 30 doors and it'd be easier if I wasn't blocked in. She then asked if I had MS (she said she does) and that's why she needs that space. It's not and has never been a disabled space. We do have two disabled spaces that I never park in!

No apology whatsoever, I asked why she blocked me in when there were other spaces and she replied that I'm more able bodied than her and this space is closer to her house so I shouldn't park there. I again asked why she'd blocked me in though and she wouldn't answer so I said she was clearly looking for an argument. She said how would I like it if I couldn't park outside my house - I told her that happens quite often and when it does I park on the main road and walk in!

She finally tried to justify her doing it saying I'd been parked there all weekend - I said that's because I don't work weekends and I live here - I'm allowed to park for a weekend! It hadn't been there a month. She then walked on and begrudgingly moved the car, which telling her neighbours (who'd come to gawk) how awful I was. I'm raging!

Of course her age was relevant!!

If op hadn't bothered putting an age, everyone would have just come back with "how old was she?? Maybe she was elderly & felt she couldn't walk that far".

I've been on here long enough to know that even people's hair colour is relevant for the bloody replies people get

yorkshire I am loving that suggestion

pickett no problem I didn't mean to sound rude when I said you were right you were ignorant about it. I was til my friend got diagnosed. She's only 44 and can't drive any more. She can barely use the stairs in her house She now gets dial a ride to take her to our local shopping centre every Friday and she gets a mobility scooter and I meet her and we go around the shops and have a cup of tea. I can't believe she can't even walk from one end of our local shopping centre to the other now and that she's never going to get better. Each relapse she has will leave her more disabled, but a lot of people have MS for many years before they have any symptoms as bad as her, She's just been unlucky. MS like lots of other conditions is a bitch! But your neighbour should def not have blocked you in. Good luck with future parking!

I presume she doesn't have a blue badge?

I didn't see a blue badge (and I have photos of the car to send to the council). There was a disabled space free that she chose not to park in if she did have a blue badge.

"As for the ageism alluded to. Do we want to go down the route where nobody can say anything for fear of being labelled an 'ist'?"

Nope. But we don't want to be 'ist' either. And ageism is very prevalent and usually unchallenged. As this thread shows.

Nobody would have said under any circumstances that it was OK to park in such a way that the OP couldn't get out. Regardless of the age, race, sex, sexuality or hair colour of the person doing the blocking.

We used to live opposite a block of flats. A woman visiting her friend in the flats occasionally took it upon herself to leave her locked (still running) car in the street.

You could probably just about squeeze past if you were approaching from either direction but we were blocked in our drive and a fire engine or ambulance certainly wouldn't have got past.

One day I had to wait for 30 minutes till she came out, making me late for a consultant appointment. When she finally arrived I politely told her that if she did it again I'd immediately call the police.

She said "I'm an old lady, you can't call the police on me!"

I said "I'm a pregnant woman trying to get to a hospital appointment, just try me"

It was very satisfying to see how quickly she drove off

If she does it again, call the police.

Ageist posters are really quite funny.

They always refer to the people they are being ageist about as "lady" or "gentleman". It's as if they somehow think that the uber-politeness in that terminology makes others not notice the ageism.

Excellent diagram there.

Blocking people in is the height of rudeness regardless of your age or ability
But were there other spots available when she blocked you - you said this was the last spot when you parked, so could have been the same for her?
Her need, generally, was possibly greater than your need not to be blocked in. And I can see why, if she has MS, she can't park miles away. But she definitely should have written a note and been apologetic rather than arsey about it.

I have had health problems that make driving and parking very difficult and tiring for me. I don't park in other people's spaces or block other people in though - because I am not an arsehole. Some people are just convinced that they should be able to do whatever they like, whenever they like, and they will constantly push boundaries to test how far they can get away with things. I agree with the poster who said to tell her that next time you will just reverse into her car.

I would state if it were a young woman too.because it would possibly change the dynamic of the thread in terms of her likely fitness

I have a range of health problems and basicially fit for nothing very little. My 80yo grandma moves faster than me on my bad days, I'm in my 30s!

YNBU OP.

Whatever mobility problems she has, blocking someone in and then having to walk back to remove the car must be worse than walking a few more steps only once.

I'm an old lady.

I think the age of the woman is highly relevant, because I would expect her to know better than to park the way she had. As she could have been driving for the last 40 years or so, I'd have thought she'd have got a clue by now.

And from the excellent diagram, she ended up doing more walking than if she'd parked in the nearest available empty marked space.

OP, don't get drawn in to the ridiculous ageism debate. It's quite clear why you mentioned her age, and it wasn't out of ageism.

I'm disabled (albeit not old ) without a blue badge. Today I couldn't park outside my house and ended up 50m up the road. Did I block someone in and try to guilt them? Fuck no, because a) they did nothing wrong and b) I have no idea how able THEY are to walk 50m.

She was unreasonable.

Well luckily HQ have finally agreed that ageism isn't a ridiculous debate.

Try slagging someone off and saying "black lady" or "disabled lady" instead of "old" and tell me it's not offensive and irrelevant.

The only way it would be relevant is, as another poster said, to actually excuse where she was parked.

(I don't actually think the OP was U btw, but I do think she's ageist)

But 'disabled lady' would be hugely relevant.

If a disabled woman with no other option had to park there I'd be far more understanding of a fully able bodied person, and it would change my reaction to the situation.

Had I said 'stupid fat ugly old woman' I'd agree it was offensive.

My oh has ms and can't walk very far he drives (and has a blue badge) but wouldn't block someone in, because he's not an inconsiderate person.

She should NOT have blocked you in.

But I would have to point out that you can be significantly mobility impaired, and not be eligible for a blue badge. The criteria are very tight.

If I may return the jury's attention to your diagram, you say that the old lady's car is denoted by a red squiggle, not parked in a space. According to your evidence, the car that blocked you in is represented by a red rectangle whereas the red squiggle is parked in a space.

wideboy

The red rectangle is in fact the offending car, I am mistaken!

However, the squiggle is more orange than red...

I don’t like the idea that you can’t mention that someone is old without being described as ageist. Older people might need some leeway if they can’t move very fast, or are a bit slow at the supermarket checkout because failing eyesight or dexterity makes it a bit difficult to hand over money, for instance. But we’re not special snowflakes; we shouldn’t be forgiven for everything just because we’re old. That’s patronising, especially to those of us who still have all our marbles.

The old lady in question is, yes, old. But that’s not an excuse. She is old enough to know better.

Love your "ahem", wideboy. And your username, which is a term I've haven't heard for many a decade.

No mate, you were fine, she is being unreasonable and simply wants that space for her own. She probably usually gets it too and was most put out that you dared to park there.

She may have MS she may not, the reasonable thing for her to do would be park elsewhere and leave a note asking really nicely if wherever possible you could park in a different place whilst she applied to the council to get a designated disabled space near her house in which she would display her blue badge.