To have argued with this old lady over parking?

[PickettBowtruckle]

Yes there's a diagram (though a badly drawn iPad one!)

The blue squiggle at the top is me, in a marked bay. The red squiggle is her car, not in a space.

I live in a maisonette block that shares with a line of bungalows. The road has a name which we all share, so our address is number (block name), road, town. The bungalows are number, road, town. The parking is for residents of the road (so the block and bungalows) Sometimes parking can be tight and all the spaces are taken.

Still with me? The bungalow residents are elderly, whereas the block of houses are a mix. Some of the bungalow residents seems to have taken a liking to some spaces and have started to block you in if you park in the ones at the end nearest the bungalows.

When I parked there, it was the only space left. I'll usually park along the bottom line if there is space. Went out today and I'd been blocked in, despite there being plenty of other spaces around (colour squiggles indicate a car in the space!).

I sat and beeped until this old lady came out, came over and said 'there's no need to beep, you could have just knocked on doors' I said I didn't think it'd be very productive to knock on 30 doors and it'd be easier if I wasn't blocked in. She then asked if I had MS (she said she does) and that's why she needs that space. It's not and has never been a disabled space. We do have two disabled spaces that I never park in!

No apology whatsoever, I asked why she blocked me in when there were other spaces and she replied that I'm more able bodied than her and this space is closer to her house so I shouldn't park there. I again asked why she'd blocked me in though and she wouldn't answer so I said she was clearly looking for an argument. She said how would I like it if I couldn't park outside my house - I told her that happens quite often and when it does I park on the main road and walk in!

She finally tried to justify her doing it saying I'd been parked there all weekend - I said that's because I don't work weekends and I live here - I'm allowed to park for a weekend! It hadn't been there a month. She then walked on and begrudgingly moved the car, which telling her neighbours (who'd come to gawk) how awful I was. I'm raging!

Million

"AIBU to have argued with this fat/ugly/black lady about parking" Happy with those? And if it's just setting the scene, why not tall/red haired/blue coat wearing.....?

Why is her being old he most important thing about her?

Just got off the phone to the council, I took a photo of the offending block in this morning and they have agreed to send a 'general' letter to residents reminding them that spaces are not allocated and to be considerate with their parking.

My GP (male) referred to the nurses in the treatment room as 'the girls' today. I was .

YANBU but you're right when you say you're ignorant about MS. Just because she was walking doesn't mean she doesn't have chronic fatigue or difficulty with mobility or balance so I have some sympathy for her. PS and I agree the age thing is irrelevant IMO

...and we have a derail from a descriptive word to help convey what the situation was.

I never claimed otherwise hence mentioning my ignorance when commenting on her walking ability.

Again, I ask this as someone unknowledgeable about MS and wanting to understand, not being goady, but if she did suffer from chronic fatigue, or balance issues, would that not make it unsafe to drive?

Yes. Young people can be disabled. Old people can be disabled. But statistically, older people are less likely to be fit. That is a fact.

You can't be wondering if you've misjudged a situation every time, whether they might be disabled or not every time you find yourself in an altercation. Unless you want people to walk over you? You can only see what you see most of the time.

And disabled or not (and she didn't have a blue badge because she wasn't parking in those spaces), you still have to obey car park rules and the Highway Code. The ms is irrelevant and it's pretty low of her to use it to justify herself when clearly in the wrong

And you would not have known her disability from just seeing her car.

You are R. Lady was U.

She was an unreasonable arse, irrespective of her age.

pickett i wasn't being rude, 'ignorant' isn't offensive imo, i'm ignorant about a lot of things - it just means I don't know much about them.

SOme people with MS are able to driv, some aren't. It's a condition that worsens with every relapse and causes chronic fatigue and mobility problems among other things. My oldest and dearest friend was diagosed with agressive MS 2 years ago and no longer able to drive. I don't kow everything about MS but seeing how it's affected her is why have some sympathy with woman in question. I did say YANBU. She should have left a note on her car, and if she hasn't already got a blue badge should apply for one (although they're like bloody gold dust these days, you can be turned down even if you're virtually unable to walk). I'm just saying I understand why she wants to park as near to her house as possible.

fat/ugly/black lady

None of those have any bearing on her ability to walk or eligibility for the elderly housing. Age might.

No doubt she is about 60.

Why is her being old he most important thing about her?

When you read articles in any newspaper, usually people are described by 1) sex (usually guessed from name), 2) age, 3) profession.
So for ex "Laura, 23, teacher".
This is because these characteristics are widely used to basically describe a person.
Same goes with book characters.

mycat sorry, I think my response read snappier than intended. I only rementioned the ignorance comment as I didn't want anyone else reading my next part and accusing me of being rude regarding MS, I just wanted to make it clear I didn't know and wasn't trying to be shitty about it :)

I don't think age is irrelevant here. We all expect elderly people to be more likely to have mobility problems than younger people (though, obviously, before I get jumped on, some younger people have more mobility issues than many older people).

So the age of the blocker-in is relevant to how we would approach the problem. I'd be inclined to cut an older person more slack than younger one, on the basis of them being likelier to have painful joints, bunions, etc, but in this case, YANBU.

picket I have a friend whose MS is severe enough for her to be in a wheelchair. She is still able to drive, in an adapted car. She would be horrified to be identified as elderly btw but then she wouldn't be so unreasonable when parking!

My 17 would describe a 30 year old as an older lady.

Op you were right and loved your diagram.

You are def not being unreasonable

Haha doyou I guess we are all someone's idea of what an old lady/man is.

sunshine I had no idea the lady had MS until she said it to me, the 'old' being used to describe her is because the bungalows are specifically for older people.

If she does it again you could always set your alarm for 3am and go and knock on her door. Your mother has been rushed to hospital and you need to get your car out and SHE IS BLOCKING YOU IN AGAIN!!!

Good on the council for agreeing to send a letter!

I have a disease that worsens with every relapse. There will be a relapse in the not so distant future that will put me in the grave.

However, that's my problem and no one else's. I detest the way some people use their illness as a stick to beat others with.

As for the ageism alluded to. Do we want to go down the route where nobody can say anything for fear of being labelled an 'ist'?