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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have argued with this old lady over parking?

102 replies

PickettBowtruckle · 06/03/2017 15:46

Yes there's a diagram (though a badly drawn iPad one!)

The blue squiggle at the top is me, in a marked bay. The red squiggle is her car, not in a space.

I live in a maisonette block that shares with a line of bungalows. The road has a name which we all share, so our address is number (block name), road, town. The bungalows are number, road, town. The parking is for residents of the road (so the block and bungalows) Sometimes parking can be tight and all the spaces are taken.

Still with me? The bungalow residents are elderly, whereas the block of houses are a mix. Some of the bungalow residents seems to have taken a liking to some spaces and have started to block you in if you park in the ones at the end nearest the bungalows.

When I parked there, it was the only space left. I'll usually park along the bottom line if there is space. Went out today and I'd been blocked in, despite there being plenty of other spaces around (colour squiggles indicate a car in the space!).

I sat and beeped until this old lady came out, came over and said 'there's no need to beep, you could have just knocked on doors' I said I didn't think it'd be very productive to knock on 30 doors and it'd be easier if I wasn't blocked in. She then asked if I had MS (she said she does) and that's why she needs that space. It's not and has never been a disabled space. We do have two disabled spaces that I never park in!

No apology whatsoever, I asked why she blocked me in when there were other spaces and she replied that I'm more able bodied than her and this space is closer to her house so I shouldn't park there. I again asked why she'd blocked me in though and she wouldn't answer so I said she was clearly looking for an argument. She said how would I like it if I couldn't park outside my house - I told her that happens quite often and when it does I park on the main road and walk in!

She finally tried to justify her doing it saying I'd been parked there all weekend - I said that's because I don't work weekends and I live here - I'm allowed to park for a weekend! It hadn't been there a month. She then walked on and begrudgingly moved the car, which telling her neighbours (who'd come to gawk) how awful I was. I'm raging!

To have argued with this old lady over parking?
OP posts:
LoupGarou · 06/03/2017 16:25

I agree that she was unreasonable and obnoxious. How did she know you don't have an invisible disability? As others have said if you need the space again and she blocks you again knock on her door and tell her she has five minutes to move it before you get it towed. Tell her in future there won't be a warning, you'll just get it towed and won't bother to knock on her door.

As a rule I tend to treat people with the same level of courtesy they treat me with. I agree her age is irrelevant.

PickettBowtruckle · 06/03/2017 16:26

I am very ignorant in terms of MS and know very little, but she walked out of her house and to my car (and stormed from my car to move hers) reasonably well with no walking no support.

OP posts:
EweAreHere · 06/03/2017 16:27

You were not unreasonable; she was. Completely. The sense of entitlement some people have is incredible!

I'd have told her if she blocks you in again when you are parked in a parking space perfectly legally, you'll have her towed.

SomethingBorrowed · 06/03/2017 16:28

OP also said this person was a woman, is that sexist? Hmm
Mentioning her age, in a non-insulting way, is helping us imagine the scene the same way as mentioning her sex is.

offblackeggshell · 06/03/2017 16:29

Maybe you could go to hers and suggest that you help her fill out a blue badge application form so that she can use the disabled spaces. Great diagram op!

HappyFlappy · 06/03/2017 16:29

BTW - nothing wrong with your diagram, my dear.

My great dread in life is being in the position to post a fantastically divisive and rage-inducing parking thread, and not being able to produce a diagram that would do it justice!

I would be more than proud to produce one of your standard. Smile

Hissy · 06/03/2017 16:29

Having MS doesn't give someone carte Blanche to block another car in! Especially when that car is parked legally, in a space they have a right to.

I'd get some forms from the council for her to fill in and apply for a disabled badge/space.

barinatxe · 06/03/2017 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HappyFlappy · 06/03/2017 16:33

She gives hard stares to anyone who reverses into car park spaces

Paddington Bear trained, Punicorn?

BertrandRussell · 06/03/2017 16:35

"YANBU, she sounds like a complete bitch. It's often the young that get blamed for being rude, but it's often the case (as here) that elderly people are just as unpleasant."

So why mention age at all?

QueenOfTheCatBastards · 06/03/2017 16:37

My parents live in a small cul de sac of bungalows. The turf wars over the parking spaces are hysterical to observe from afar, but I'd hate to have to live there as I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face while explaining that they have zero fucking rights to the spaces. They're so damn territorial!

punicorn · 06/03/2017 16:40

HappyFlappy
Yes most definitely - I'm sure she has marmalade sandwiches under her hat just to be on the safe side Grin

MillionToOneChances · 06/03/2017 16:45

If she does, in fact, have any kind of disability, surely she'd be better parking where she would have to come back out and move her car? Hmm

MillionToOneChances · 06/03/2017 16:45

wouldn't!

SauvignonBlanche · 06/03/2017 16:46

I would state if it were a young woman too.because it would possibly change the dynamic of the thread in terms of her likely fitness

Young people can be disabled and have MS too.

Casual ageism gives way to casual disabilisim Hmm

MillionToOneChances · 06/03/2017 16:49

I don't think it's casual ageism in a society where most of us are naturally more polite to older people and tend to defer to them out of respect.

Ecclesiastes · 06/03/2017 16:53

I don't think it's casual ageism in a society where most of us are naturally more polite to older people and tend to defer to them out of respect.

If only that were the case.

Ageism is rampant in our society. And on MN.

'AIBU to argue with this black/gay/Jewish woman over parking?'

Can you really not see it??

Ecclesiastes · 06/03/2017 16:54

Ageism is like sexism. So completely universal that it becomes invisible. Even to those who are on the shitty end of it.

BertrandRussell · 06/03/2017 16:55

"AIBU to have argued with this young lady over parking?"

Nope. Wouldn't happen.

MillionToOneChances · 06/03/2017 16:58

From the point of view of conveying a story, not being allowed to mention the age of the protagonist is rather a hindrance to conveying the scene.

pictish · 06/03/2017 16:58

Yadnbu - MS or not, she's a self-important cow. Next time get it towed.

MillionToOneChances · 06/03/2017 16:58

And people mention youth all the time!

humourless · 06/03/2017 16:58

If she prevents you from getting onto the highway it's an offence. Next time tell her you'll call someone to give her a ticket.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 06/03/2017 16:59

Pickett, you don't know that those spaces were available when she parked there. There was only one space that you used when you parked - just because there were other nearby spaces by the time you left doesn't mean they were there when she parked...

Having said that, even if she needed to block you in she should have let you know where to find her when you needed to leave, so YANBU.

MillionToOneChances · 06/03/2017 16:59

I saw someone told off just this morning for describing a young woman as a 'girl' to convey her youth!

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