AIBU investing that DH shouldn't have accepted this friend request?

[BrieAndChilli]

DH just got befriended by a I think 16 year old girl that used to go to scouts (he's a beaver leader and helps at scouts). Unsaid he shouldn't have accepted it and I think it's totally unacceptable and he leaving himself vulnerable. (I also think it would be unacceptable if it was a make scout that had befriended him)
Number jury what do you think? He thinks is I'm being silly and it would be rude defriend her.

It is very easy to accidentally send friend requests. I did it once to a really lovely person I only know via friends. She accepted really quickly. I know it was just because she is polite! I cringe whenever I see her now!

I had a colleague that used to accept pupil friend requests, despite being told not to. He later had an affair with a sixth former and they had a baby together . He should just unfriend.

Whether the friend request was a mistake or not it's his reluctance to rectify the 'mistake' and delete her that would bother me. And that he's trying to turn things round on you.

Why would he care about unfriending this girl really?

I wouldn't even consider accepting if they were 18 and had just left.

Why on earth not? In that situation you're both adults and neither is in a position of authority.

I agree that he needs to unfriend her. If she asks, it's easy enough to say he'd accidentally sent the request on his phone, but it wasn't appropriate for them to be friends on FB at this point in time due to her age and his position as her troop leader. She should understand that ... and for all he knows, she may have agonized over accepting the request thinking it was kind of weird but not wanting to offend him!

If he has agreed to unfriend her, then I don't see any big issue here.

FWIW, I used to teach in a foreign country where this extreme "safeguarding" stuff didn't exist, and I accepted friends requests from tons of teenage students. Was no big deal.

YADNBU!
No, no, no.
I am safeguarding officer for a voluntary organisation and tear my hair over this all the time. No way should any leader be 'friends' with a junior.
Just don't.
(And why does any adult want to be 'friends' with a kid anyway???)

So was she in his "people you may know"?

If so, would that be because he had been searching for her?

*So was she in his "people you may know"?

If so, would that be because he had been searching for her?*

No, it doesn't work like that.

So how does it work? I'm confused.

Posters who say it's easy to send a friend request by mistake say it happened when they were flicking through "people you may know".

Surely you need to have a connection of some sort with "people you may know". For example if I exchange phone numbers or emails with someone they might then appear in my "people you may know".

Or is it more random than that?

I thought the "people you may know" is gone from fb? I had been caught with that before but I was sure it was no longer there.

Either way though he said it came up through scout photos so sounds like he was on her page???

I still see 'people you may know' lists all the time ... they're sometimes on the newsfeed now.

Yes it is done via connections, not on searches.

So like you say, people can upload your phone number or email address and if Facebook 'knows' that they belong to you you'll be suggested as a friend, mutual friends plays a part as well.

Although I do get fed up with Facebook suggesting a friend just because we have one friend in common

Thanks OnionKnight.

That makes perfect sense.

Agree with PP, completely inappropriate and your H needs to unfriend and block. As you say, OP, he is potentially leaving himself vulnerable.

Also, should say, it's very easy to send friend requests accidentally on some devices. I've done it several times on my blackberry (so much so that I don't even browse FB on the blackberry now).

My friend is a safeguarding officer for the scouts, this is against their policy. Your husband needs to unfriend her immediately and any other young people too.

Completely inappropriate. YANBU

It's not acceptable. I was a Beaver Leader too and we were instructed not to be FB friends with any young person involved (including young leaders). For some people this even meant they couldn't be friends with their teen children. It was there to protect us though.

OP ive seen he accidently requested her. I thought she'd totally left and had requested him. Probably best to unfriend.

For some people this even meant they couldn't be friends with their teen children. It was there to protect us though.
Overboard here.
I used to teach in a school where my friend's kids went so I removed the kids from Facebook (and let the school know) but there's no way i'd be told to police my family life for volunteering. Dear me. I suppose that you also shouldn't be 1-1 with your own child in that organisation.

For his own protection he needs to defriend.

I'm sure if the OP's partner was female this would be a different series of responses.

If a girl who is of the age of consent in the UK (it is 16, despite what many of you believe) wants to befriend a former teacher to avoid losing touch what's the problem with it? It's not illegal. It wouldn't even breach any safeguarding policies because I assume the dh isn't posting inappropriate things on fb.

I think over 18 is different. I think 16 is too young. Also because he's still a leader. If he had quit it would be different, doesn't matter if he's male or female though.