Leaving the kids there

[cheeeeselover]

More of a WWYD I suppose. I have a weekend booked at centerparcs for me and the kids it's for a Friday to Monday. Kids are 14,13 and 11.

I have the Friday and Monday booked off work but have been asked to attend a meeting on Sunday evening. I work about 45 minutes from centerparcs so easy to nip back for the meeting.

Would it unreasonable to leave the kids at centerparcs instead of dragging then with me? They are all good swimmers and very responsible and when we are there they always set off swimming earlier than me and I join them later on. I'd be away from about 5pm to 8.30pm . I would leave them the villa key and money to get themselves a pizza and they can leave the pool when they are ready and go back to the villa. I'm sure they would prefer this than being dragged from their holiday to sit outside a meeting.

They have been left at home for this length of time before and no problems. My only concern is that I'll be 45 minutes away and not sure if I'd even be allowed to leave them there if I had left the holiday village.

What would you do?

Where does it say the op asked centrparcs?

Half past midnight this morning

Op Centreparks simply told you that your dc could be unsupervised in certain area of the park. You are not allowed to leave the site all together.

I beg to differ DoraFotever. They told me I could not leave my 14,13 and 11 year old alone over night. Which I would not do anyway.

and that I'd be responsible if they went on a wild rampage through the holiday village. But as they will be safely inside the villa stuffing junk food I think I'm ok with leaving them 🙂

I also actually have a 3 year old but he won't be at centerparcs on that Sunday, as he had a birthday party to attend that afternoon (not his) and his dad will take him and keep him overnight (After collecting him from centerparcs) I didn't feel obliged to mention him in the initial post. But please feel free to pass judgement.

Oops

😳. I hope you didn't link them to this thread agitated as that would be not very nice.

cheeese - could 3 year old's father not just do you a favour and waitvwith them all?

Agitatedguava. Did you mention the children's ages and the expected time offsite? Perhaps each site have different views? Anyway, I have an email telling me it's fine. Plus I know my kids. I know 100% they will stay in the villa and look after each other because I've raised them that way and they are the most incredible human beings I've ever met. I couldn't be prouder. And if there were an issue they would alert cp staff as I would tell them to do so, stuff the consequences to me because my children come before anything.

I am trying to be a good mother and I think I'm succeeding. Because my children will not judge me for having to work for 3 hours during our weekend. Instead they will watch a DVD, eat pizza, and be bloody happy to have a weekend at centerparcs and a mum that trusts them to be the decent young adults they have turned into.

And when I get back I wouldn't be at all surprised if there's some leftovers for me and the offer of a coffee.

(Might also be some washing up, but who's perfect?)

Your email doesn't say it's fine op.

And by unsupervised you mean what? I'll copy paste tomorrow when I'm back at my pc if it would satisfy you. Agitatedguava.

And if it doesn't satisfy you feel free to report me to whatever authority you see fit as a negligent mother.

Would your work not allow to attend a meeting via go to meeting or other video messaging service ?

But the email you got doesn't exactly say no does it? It says 'we expect' and they would raise it as a training issue.

36ydandyrying - no , it's not an option

No need to be rude to Agitated OP, she's asked them as she says she often goes to CP with her DC and wanted to know for herself. I'm suprised CP told you it was fine for you to leave the site for a couple of hours - not being goady - I just thought they'd always want an adult on site. Nothing to do with the kids not being able to look after themselves, just thought it would be their rules.

To all the posters going on about how we'll still be wiping our kids arses when they're 18 and mollycoddled etc, it's not that. I just assumed from a CP point of view it would be in their policy that an adult should be onsite at all times for under 18's.

OP you've made it clear you want to go to the meeting and you're not being forced into going in to work. I disagree with that only for the reason that I think work and family time should be separate, and if you're going to this meeting unpaid it's not on. You should be paid for the hours you do and not expected to work outside them for free. That's what unions have been fighting for, for years. (Don't know if you're being paid or not?) We all have the right to have time off from work.

You going to this meeting does not make you a bad mother, or a negligent one, I don't know why you've said that. I don't think your kids will be scarred for life by it, just check you're definitley allowed to leave them! Because it's sods law that the time you're gone one of them will have an accident. And if it turns out that you were meant to be on site, you could have repercussions. I really hope all goes well and you all have a good break.

(PS I do know what it's like when your employer wants you to attend meetings etc outside your normal working hours. I used to do it myself but now for personal reasons I can't. It's not a good enough reason to go to meetings because it's frowned upon by employers, as someone else has posted. It's time mothers unpaid caring work was recognised and valued and not bloody used against us in the work place. We need a living wage for mothers and other carers and it acnowledged that binging up children is vital - 90% of single parents are mothers and without our caring work the world wouldn't survive. Just a thought ahead of International Women's Day. It's not all about women and mothers in the paid workplace, it's about all the unpaid work we do as well)

Ok so for all you mners freaking out that my children could be struck by lightning, killed by a falling tree, drown in the sink, break their neck falling off a bike, abducted (surprisingly not yet mentioned) , whisked away by a tornado, cooked in a forest fire, or die from starvation I will say I shall take them with me so that they can spend 2 hours being bored to tears . Not to mention the risk of a Road traffic accident on the way or way back to the meeting (the biggest cause of child death) as obviously I didn't actually know the capabilities of these people I've been raising for the past god knows how many years.

All because I put my work before them, because I am a selfish bitch of a working single mother and can't even spend one weekend with her children without thinking about their fucking future first.

You're right. I'll keep renting, we'll keep buying our stuff off eBay. And our food from the discount aisle. How selfish of me to think I could actually change that and make something of myself for them.

And to trust them to stay in the villa without setting fire to themselves or others, or being hit by a meteor, or a tidal wave or omg they might catch Ebola in those few hours I'm away. Despite the fact they have NEVER given me reason to doubt them.

End of thread.

Sorry Ive had an emotional few hours, received some sad news.

I'm going to go now. I'll paste the email tomorrow from work but I doubt it will make much difference. I'm a shit mum. Received loud and clear,

OP, I think that's an over reaction, no-one's said you're a shit mum that I've read.

Don't make out that the only way your kids are going to have any future chances in life is by you going to this meeting. Are you trying to say that because I'm a single mother who works part time and lives in rented accommodation and doesn't have a career my son's future is going to be less than if I worked full time and over my expected hours? That's a bloody insult.

Kids will be just fine, whether their mum works or not, just so long as their mum loves them and supports them in whatever they want to do.

It's not all about money.