Leaving the kids there

[cheeeeselover]

More of a WWYD I suppose. I have a weekend booked at centerparcs for me and the kids it's for a Friday to Monday. Kids are 14,13 and 11.

I have the Friday and Monday booked off work but have been asked to attend a meeting on Sunday evening. I work about 45 minutes from centerparcs so easy to nip back for the meeting.

Would it unreasonable to leave the kids at centerparcs instead of dragging then with me? They are all good swimmers and very responsible and when we are there they always set off swimming earlier than me and I join them later on. I'd be away from about 5pm to 8.30pm . I would leave them the villa key and money to get themselves a pizza and they can leave the pool when they are ready and go back to the villa. I'm sure they would prefer this than being dragged from their holiday to sit outside a meeting.

They have been left at home for this length of time before and no problems. My only concern is that I'll be 45 minutes away and not sure if I'd even be allowed to leave them there if I had left the holiday village.

What would you do?

But koala the op has said that is not centre parcs rules at all.

So what do people let a ten year old do at CP? Ds will be ten when w go and is very sensible however I didn't let him have much freedom last time as a ll the cabins and paths look identical! Wasn't convinced i he would be able to find his way back!

Thats ridiculous bikerunski, i could have an accident on my way back from work tonight that isnt a reason to leave competent teens alone. Jesus only 70 years ago people left school for work at 14 !

Oh fgs if she didn't reappear because she was involved in an RTA then presumably the kids would phone someone. Same as if she dropped down dead in front of them in CP.

Sounds a good solution OP.

As for those saying 'get a babysitter' - the eldest is 14 - and could be babysitting him/herself if they wanted to. My 15 year old would think I'd lost the plot if I hired a babysitter because I was going to be out for a few hours in the early evening. (I'd think I'd lost the plot as well - he could be working next year).

Do those of you saying 'get a babysitter' actually have teenagers? If so how do they get to school/meet their mates/generally go out & about?

Leaving them in the villa seems most sensible - did you say you couldn't dial in or Skype?! I'd favour this over going in person
Good luck with your new role!!!

it's no different to them staying in at home.

Your home is clearly a whole lot different to mine!

I used to babysit 3 children. Including a toddler, when I was 14...
Can understand hesitatation, will you be worried whilst in meeting op?
Could you book clients as day guests to cp, then have the meeting over a meal?

When you let your kid go to the local pool for an hour you are still in loco parentis

Do you know what in loco parentis means? Just it doesn't make sense in this context. Maybe the lifeguard is in loco parentis.

Anyway, it seems that CP take a much more sensible view rather than flying off the handle about a teenager being alone for a few hours, so the OP is good to go. Bet she wishes she just phoned them rather than canvassing for opinions on here. Was quite funny though.

The OP wouldn't be doing anything that most other parents of teens wouldn't do at Center Parcs (e.g. letting them explore/swim on their own) except being 45 mins drive away.

In the event of any kind of incident the only difference would be that she wouldn't immediately be there after the incident. It's absurd to suggest the OP would be a constantly vigilant presence for her DCs to prevent them drowning/falling off their bike/burning their hand putting the pizza in the oven.

Of course it'd be better if there was an accident you could be there quickly for your DC but there are loads of everyday circumstances where you are more than 45mins away from your DC in which an accident could occur and they would have to wait for you to reach them.

I think it's absolutely fine and CP have confirmed they don't have a problem. Go bag that client OP and good luck with the business!

I'd say leave them if they are trustworthy and you've done it before. My mum used to leave me at 12 during the summer holidays to look after my 8yr old brother and 2yr old sister whilst she was at work all day. I agree with the no swimming part but leaving them with a key, phone and the allowance to wander to the arcades is fine.

I'd leave them in the villa with a new DVD and nice picky food that they don't have to cook.

It's Sod's law that the minute your back is turned, one of them will slip by the edge of the pool and break an arm or crack their head. Can you imagine how horrible it would be for them/the others to have to explain to the lifeguard/first aided/paramedic that they're alone and you've gone offsite. Mine would really panic and wouldn't know what they were supposed to say. It could mean that something happens and they don't tell an adult.

Yes, they could hurt themselves in the villa, but if they're not cooking, it's less likely. Make sure they have a phone that works-has signal and they can contact you.

You need to have better boundaries with work!

You're on holiday that weekend, the meeting will have to be postponed/done by someone else.

OP before I rant a bit I really don't think you're being unreasonable....your clearly know your kids and your job you have safety plans in place, please go and do what you need to do, it really isn't unreasonable

Seriously some pp's ? Firstly this is very much an example of why working parentdays are made to feel shame (and the flip side it creates a them and us dynamic and that also gets targeted at those who are not working it's as bad both sides) but some of the disgustingly emotionally blackmail catastrophising rhetoric is horrific

The litany of comments to challenge her employer are at best Ill informed and ignorant at worst arrogant and entitled.....I'm sure the op like all of us has assessed whether this is an occasion she can say no to

It's not as simple as saying no all the time, I'm a level down from op but I have to assess each time work makes an out of hours request , some I will say no to and some are simply part of my job so I need to do

Its unbelievable that there are those who get on the high horse about the employer , op has explained why she needs to attend it doesn't mean they are a crap employer it's just one of those things , to tell her to feel guilty for not making memories is disgusting

Some of you have discounted that this is also an example being set .....if it's every holiday and event ok that's a bad example and needs to stop , but a one off is beige honest with kids that sometimes you have work responsibilities that have to be dealt with

Reality is that I will at some point have to explain to my ds that I don't like having to work the odd weekend (the odd...not every) but sometimes that's what you need to do in a position of respossibility and that careers come at a price ....as does the money that comes with it

The guilttripping is vile .....I hope those of you who have done this on this thread never have to make a decision like this because itshe hard enough as it isounds

Thanks all, I posted to see really if there was something I hadn't thought of in leaving them but no one came up with a good reason for not leaving them. The likelihood of anything happening anywhere or in the villa is very slim. And if they did need help in the event of an emergency they are sensible enough to get help from cp. FYI they won't even be cooking their pizza they can get a takeaway one. But my 13 year old is a good little cook and has made dinners before so quite capable of using an oven anyway.

Also if something were to happen in the actual swimming dome even if I were in the swimming dome too, centerparcs do not have a tannoy system so I would not necessarily know straight away as that place is so vast. Someone would have to come find me.

For those who haven't been, centerparcs is an excellent place for kids as they can go off and have a fantastic time exploring, cycling, swimming and with no traffic on site there's no worries really. Of course kids can have accidents but you have to assume they won't otherwise they won't get to do anything.

I've convinced myself it's all fine and as not breaking any cp rules I'm very happy with that decision :) I suppose as a single parent I don't have anyone to bounce thoughts off and was second guessing myself so it's good to get others opinions.

Seen your latest post and Centre Parks don't seem to have a problem with you leaving the site and leaving so I would absolutely go. Make sure they are looking after the youngest and have the address of where you are going.

My teen managed to break a couple of fingers at home when we weren't there, shit happens. He got some ice, a pillow to support the hand, took the right amount of painkillers and got a sugary drink because he felt wobbly, then sat down and called us.

Babysitting a 14 year old .

Most babysitters are about 14.

I'd do this OP, they'll be fine.

Euripedesralph, I agree totally. Some of the posts on here e.g. 'I would just tell my employer no and that someone else has to do it' and 'no employer would think it was OK for kids to be left alone' just smacks of someone who either has not worked in a client-facing competitive industry or someone who doesn't live in the real world. Your employer doesn't care whether your kids are on their own- they don't want to hear about it. They expect you to arrange childcare and bailing out because you haven't got childcare is generally not looked upon well.

Someone else described this as 'new age parenting'. No, it's common sense and sensible parenting, where up to about 15 years ago, it was absolutely fine to leave three teens/pre-teens on their own for a few hours in a holiday chalet. Nobody would have batted an eyelid. What is new age is the hysterical assumption that a huge and tragic accident will happen as soon as the mum is offsite and that the dc will run round like headless chickens panicking (I had done first aid training when I was 14 btw) and that the story will be splashed over the news. It's ridiculous. As a pp said, not so very long ago, 14 year olds were able to leave school to work full time. If you treat kids like idiots, they will act like idiots and you will have serious problems when they become adults and cannot look after themselves or others.

At least CP are taking a sensible line here.

They expect you to arrange childcare and bailing out because you haven't got childcare is generally not looked upon well.

That is nonsense - as I said above, I worked as a senior associate for an international law firm. Yes - it wouldn't be looked upon well to ditch a meeting. However if you could not arrange childcare, not even them most psychopathic partners (and I've worked for a few) would expect you to leave your children unattended. Not because they care about you or the children but they care about the reputation of the firm and it would be Sod's law that there would be a raging forest fire or your kid would drown and it would be spaffed all over the Daily Mail. Plus they accept (reluctantly) that requiring someone to leave their children unattended whilst they attend a meeting could leave the firm open to a claim - it's leverage for a settlement further down the line when they get fed up of female employee/partner and decide to boot her out as she inconveniently has kids and can't work 24/7 as no one wants that brought up at a Tribunal.

Same with flying back from Dubai etc. All of that behaviour is facilitated because there is childcare in place. Either because there is usually a (female) domestic partner or 24 hour a day childcare - usually provided by 2 nannies. That was the solution to any childcare crisis in my team as suggested by the female head of department who oddly enough could afford that whilst the rest of us minions couldn't as she and her husband were senior equity partners in two separate law firms. However not even she would have instructed a fellow partner or employee to leave their kids alone.

But, in any event, it's not the case here that the other partners have insisted that the OP attend. This is something she obviously feels she must do as (as per usual) her (presumably male) fellow partners are sniffing about the new client and would be more than happy to "help out" - i.e. take over.

I can't decide if you're being sarcastic itsmine or if you're serious. It's always been a thing in my family to leave kids when on holiday. We used to always have a villa abroad every year and have to go to some crappy kids club during the day whilst my parents had some peace! Even then they'd put us to bed and go out for a drink still!

Itsmine

I'm not naffing offsite all day for a bit of peace and quiet. I doubt I'll be starting a trend . If people want to do that that's their issue but it isn't mine. I can't imagine anyone doing that though!

Gobbolin
It isn't up to the other partners to consider or care about my childcare choices. We are all putting in the necessary to make this business work. It's one of the reasons we are holidaying close to home. I am not being forced to go into work it is entirely my decision whether to go or not and I am 100% going. I'm not highly paid yet either! In fact I would actually be slightly better off financially at the moment not working at all as crazy as that sounds . But I am investing in my future and my children's future as I obviously hope that a few years down the line I'll be making a decent living.

They should care - partners should not be required to be self-limiting. The firm (as a separate entity) should have practices and procedures in place to reduce risk - that is good business sense - as self-employed partners still have rights and there is the risk of reputation all damage.

No wonder there's threads on here about mollycoddled 18 year olds that cant take care of pets for a couple of days and who refuse to get a job, when people are shitting their pants about leaving a 14 year old for a couple of hours on a holiday park.

Lol - yeah, because not leaving your children unaccompanied on a holiday complex whilst you go off site is mollycoddling them.