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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving the kids there

322 replies

cheeeeselover · 05/03/2017 16:39

More of a WWYD I suppose. I have a weekend booked at centerparcs for me and the kids it's for a Friday to Monday. Kids are 14,13 and 11.

I have the Friday and Monday booked off work but have been asked to attend a meeting on Sunday evening. I work about 45 minutes from centerparcs so easy to nip back for the meeting.

Would it unreasonable to leave the kids at centerparcs instead of dragging then with me? They are all good swimmers and very responsible and when we are there they always set off swimming earlier than me and I join them later on. I'd be away from about 5pm to 8.30pm . I would leave them the villa key and money to get themselves a pizza and they can leave the pool when they are ready and go back to the villa. I'm sure they would prefer this than being dragged from their holiday to sit outside a meeting.

They have been left at home for this length of time before and no problems. My only concern is that I'll be 45 minutes away and not sure if I'd even be allowed to leave them there if I had left the holiday village.

What would you do?

OP posts:
ellamoromou · 05/03/2017 23:03

Only you know your children OP - I'd take into account their personalities and whether they could be trusted for not.

Age wise I think it's fine - and that's as what would some class an over protective parent!

Aged 11 both my parents worked and I was trusted to let myself in from school and amuse myself for a couple of hours until one or both parents came home :)

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 05/03/2017 23:12

Weird thought - I was 20 when I git married. God job we didn't honeymoon in centreparcs - Dh (then aged 23!) would have had to "supervise" me.

Weirder thought - nephew and his (pregnant) girlfriend are on holiday at the moment. As they are 20 and 19 it is a good job they have gone to Spain as Centreparcs wouldn't let them in! And still won't when their baby is born!

NapQueen · 05/03/2017 23:16

Id insist on being conference called in from the villa.

MrsFogi · 05/03/2017 23:24

How old are kids when they are allowed to go to the pool on their own these days? My parents left me and my sister at Butlins in Bognor Regis along all day, every day (including using the pool) for a week when we were 11 and 13 whilst they went house hunting in the area. It was one of the best holidays I've had deciding what to do (dsis and I did not hang out together at all), buying my own lunch etc.

BusyBeez99 · 05/03/2017 23:26

allchattedouf

Even worse then. There are 3 other partners who I assume she knows out of work as it's a start up. They can do this.

AnyFucker · 05/03/2017 23:30

What you do in your own home (in this scenario I would leave the kids at home) and what you would do on licensed holiday premises are two different things

You are effectively leaving your kids in Centre Parcs hands without their knowledge or permission. They are not insured for this.

A rule of thumb for me is: imagine the headline if something were to go wrong. Could you justify it ?

No. Not in this exact situstion.

BrickInTheWall · 05/03/2017 23:36

I let my 10 year old go to the local inflatables swim time with her best friend and neither of them have phones! 😵😱
Its on for an hour and a half and they dont take parents details at the desk.
I cant believe how many people here are insisting that teens need supervised at a pool. You do realise they could be involved in any number of freak accidents just stepping out of their own front doors.
Shall we keep all children on reins and in sight until they reach 18? Or 21? Hmm
When oh when will these little darlings finally be able to take a shit without mummy watching?

AnyFucker · 05/03/2017 23:47

There are some seriously stupid people here

When you let your kid go to the local pool for an hour you are still in loco parentis. No problem, your choice

When they are staying at a residential facility which has clearly documented age restrictions on who can be unsupervised that is a different matter

It doesn't matter how responsible you think your kids are

If you don't agree with the t+c of the residential facility then don't fucking go there. It is as simple as that. You bending the rules to suit your new age parenting will mean fuck all in the event of a major accident

Tartyflette · 05/03/2017 23:49

Could you take them with you toi the meeting but drop them off at a cinema nearby to watch an (appropriate) film? One where there's a fast-food restaurant very close by?

WyfOfBathe · 05/03/2017 23:50

If you absolutely can't get out of the meeting, then leave them in the villa with a pizza - or give them money to go to somewhere like the Sports Cafe. Give them a phone and tell them to all stay together. You could reward them with an evening swim after you get back.

DON'T tell them to keep it a secret that you're gone - if there was an emergency, you want them to get help rather than be scared of the effect on you.

TreeTop7 · 06/03/2017 00:00

I agree with the majority in that they're obviously old enough to be unsupervised for a few hours in the evening. However, I don't think it's at all fair to breach CP's terms.

The suggestion of dropping them at a cinema/restaurant near work is quite good.

The other option is CP's child minding service. The older two (who of course are pretty much old enough to BE babysitters!) may feel aggrieved but if it's explained to them that it's for insurance purposes only, they'll understand.

Original poster
cheeeeselover · 06/03/2017 00:26

Centerparcs confirm that children over 8 do not need to be supervised or accompanied by an adult in the pool areas or any activity (unless specified in the activity). They do not need to be accompanied by an adult in general areas outside the dome except bars.

Accommodation must have at least 1 person over 21 on the booking who is responsible for anyone under 21. This does not mean they have to be supervised by that person (unless under 8) but are the responsibility of that adult. Meaning if my child broke something for example I would be responsible for fixing/paying for it. Which I knew anyway. Also if they were being offensive or roudy they could be asked to leave the area , for example the pool and I would be responsible for that behaviour. I have no concerns there.

I wouldn't hire a babysitter as it would just be plain weird for my kids to have a complete stranger, probably not much older than them, sat in the villa.

I am apparently able to leave the village as it isn't overnight and it's perfectly acceptable but the kids still remain my responsibility (obviously!)

So decision is they will stay in the villa that evening with a DVD , pizza , a load of popcorn/chocolate/cake. This way there is very limited risk of there being an emergency such as being knocked out falling in the pool, being jumped on by another person in the pool, drowning, breaking an arm falling off a bike, being in a car accident or being hit by a stray meteor.

I can't control earthquakes or tornadoes but I'll leave instructions, along with details of what to do should I not return by 9pm in case of being killed in car crash on way back. Wink

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 06/03/2017 00:30

You haven't seen The Day After Tomorrow, have you ?

ellamoromou · 06/03/2017 00:39

^There are some seriously stupid people here

When you let your kid go to the local pool for an hour you are still in loco parentis. No problem, your choice

When they are staying at a residential facility which has clearly documented age restrictions on who can be unsupervised that is a different matter^

I really wouldn't be rude and call people stupid when you can't read the terms and conditions of age ok to be left alone - OP has just stated 8 and above Hmm

AnyFucker · 06/03/2017 00:41

Not left alone on the site

As in...fucked off elsewhere

The "alone at the pool" thing assumes there is still a parent/carer on site

TreeTop7 · 06/03/2017 00:43

If CP have agreed, then go ahead. Good luck - hope the client signs up.

Original poster
cheeeeselover · 06/03/2017 00:46

It's ok to leave the site. I wouldn't though if my child was only 8 . But they are not 8, so it's no different to them staying in at home.

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 06/03/2017 00:46

I wouldn't hire a babysitter as it would just be plain weird for my kids to have a complete stranger, probably not much older than them, sat in the villa.

Okay, it might be 'weird', but maybe explain to them that they just have to put up with the weirdness for a few hours.

I don't know why you're going through all these mental contortions when this is the obvious answer.

Original poster
cheeeeselover · 06/03/2017 00:46

Thank you treetop, me too Smile

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 06/03/2017 00:48

Have CP agreed ?

Original poster
cheeeeselover · 06/03/2017 00:50

Koala. I wouldn't hire a babysitter to sit them at home and to be honest I'd be insulting them for want of a better term. They have never given reason for me not to trust them. They have earned that trust and id feel like i was implying I didn't trust them to hire a babysitter. If they are staying in the villa they don't need someone in there with them as they don't need supervising like that

OP posts:
Original poster
cheeeeselover · 06/03/2017 00:54

Yes AnyFucker it's fine as long as it's not overnight

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 06/03/2017 01:21

You're not insulting them, though. Confused You're following rules set down by someone else (CP) because you're not at home.

Surely if they're mature enough to be left, they're mature enough to understand this.

BikeRunSki · 06/03/2017 01:29

So what happens if you are involved in an RTA while you are off site?

You may be the best driver in the world and your dc the most sensible, but there is no accounting for third parties.

ScattySuze · 06/03/2017 02:00

No law as such foe centreparcs